Friday, August 20, 2010
Skipped my class due to work commitments today. I think the temptation was too huge when home is only a 10 mins bus ride away while school is a total of one and a half hours worth of journey time away. Been quite a while since I am alone at home on a Fri night.
Just finished watching Toy Story 3 and I got to say that the best cartoons I had watched thus far are mostly from Pixar. The most important thing in any movie is always the storyline. I was thinking that there shouldn't be anything much to expect from Toy Story 3 considering that there had already been 2 brilliant prequels before this. I would just say that it had exceed all my expectations.
I won't really give the story away but the final part is one of the most touching scene in the whole movie. Though not as good as the first 15 mins of Up, it did bring a lump to my throat as I were watching. Friends who had watched this should know what I am talking about.
That scene reminded me of how I had grown to an adult and how mum had aged as time passed by. Time is merciless in that it seems to be flying faster and faster as I am growing older and older. I remembered that when I was a little boy, I had always loved sticking with Mum in anything she does. One sentence that I will always remember though I am unclear when my Mum said it is this. "Son. One day you will find me troublesome and naggy that you wouldn't want me to be around you"
I am feeling a deep sense of guilt here as I admitted that when I was in the growing up phrase from my poly days till recent years back, I were really beginning to find her a chore at times with her nagging. This feeling will still appear from time to time when I yearn for some personal space and time. I felt guilty as I am very sure that when Mum was carrying me along, the thought of wanting some personal time and space had never cropped up in her mind.
She was a lowly educated divorcée with an unreasonable father to support. Bringing me along was not a necessary option for her. It even greatly reduced the chance of getting someone who might be the next future partner for her. If the selfish thought of wanting the best for herself came into her mind, there wouldn't be me around to blog about this.
I don't know how I would have ended up like. I don't even dare to think about it. For all that she had done, I long to be able to let her do what she like for the remaining years that I can have with her.
I know that separation come to everything and everyone in life. It is just that the human heart find it difficult to be ready for that moment no matter how prepare you are telling yourself to be. I don't know when my Mum will become another memory in my life. Honestly, just thinking about this bring tears to my eyes for there are so many things that I wanted to do for her which are not done yet.
To that someone on top looking down on us, I hope to be able to succeed in my new career and be able to let my mum retire. Doing the things she like and spending time with her whenever she need me. I am consoled by the fact that I have a loving girlfriend who understood why I am so close to my mum. I just guess deep in my heart, I longed for the days when I were the apple in the eyes of my mum. A little boy who always liked to stick with her in anything she does.
I love you mum. You can be sure that my birthday will always be a gentle reminder that I owe everything I have now to you.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:28 PM
11:28 PM
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Funny that I am writing this at school where most of my time is usually spend in class. Reason for this is that there is no class today. Brilliant me came here without checking the bloody student portal. Only realizing my folly when I thought that there must be a problem with the bloody screen when my class didn't appear on it. Yes. I admit. An act of Sotongness on my part.
Seems like I just can't strike this nickname off me. Coming to think of it, it is hard to change people perception of you once they got to know you. Even more so in this fast moving society where most of us love watching Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings on the big theatre but shiver in cold when the original book is thrown in front of them. We tend to judge people by their cover, not their content.
First impression counts for double in times like this now. I had been learning it the hard way. I got to admit that I am an easy going kind of person. I think this might have contributed to almost everyone who know me to try shitting on my head. Well, not literally but I am quite sure you guys get what I mean.
I did tell myself repeatably that I must look and behave seriously no matter what the occasion is. It might sound easy but honestly it is tough. Life is tough. To try to make it tough for you and the person around you just isn't my idea of living.
I tried to be professional in my work. I believed that my customer trust that I know what I am doing but it seem that it is hard for them to treat me as a professional. It do get onto me at times. To them, I am just the guy next door(not the looks I got to admit) who they can easily get over to help them out.
This might also be the reason why people in my company also don't treat me with the respect I think I deserve. Mainly my boss who I doubt will ever read this. I wonder out at times if I am not hardworking enough or the work I do is not of value. A pay increment of 600 after 4 years of working in the same company speak volumes of the respect my boss is giving to me.
Well, I got to log off now. Suayness hit you when library close early just when you bloody need the PC. See u again. Blog!!
Labels: Happenings in life
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
7:32 PM
7:32 PM
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Hello, Hello! Anyone still following my blog? If you still do, I wish I have the monetary means to get you an award for being a loyal follower of my blog. Anyway, if I don't have the monetary means, cheques from people who want to help is always acceptable. :)
The above is a pathetic way of trying to lighten up things by yours truly. Truth is I am at school now waiting for my class to begin. See, my life now is so cast in stone that basically watching the paint dry might be more interesting to hear how I get through a normal day. If you don't believe, I will write down how a typical day goes for me. I know you will believe it after reading it so read on.
Work (which involve a lot of driving, running and clearing work which I never knew that I got the skills for), class (jogging or badminton if I can get a court from the new stupid website of SSC), home and sleep. I let you decide. Watching the paint drying up or reading the above.
Another sad thing I found out from leading this hugely challenging but boring life of mine is that the creative juices in my head is bleeding dry. Yes. Bleeding is the word I will use. I seems to have lost the mojo for writing. I am still doing a huge chunk of reading. Mostly by force(school requirement), minority is topic which is close to my heart.
I am just glad to have my family, gf and friends to keep my sane in this hugely insane life that I am leading in a hugely insane world. There will be time that they might do or say things that hurt me. But it is ok. I don't expect perfection from them when I myself is in a way, perfectly imperfect.
A year seems to have fly by just like that. A blink of the eye and we will be celebrating CNY. This remind me that I haven't joined the thousands of S'poreans in queuing up for Lim Chee Guan Ba Kwa. It is sinful especially for someone who is constantly fighting a losing battle to keep his waist size at 32". But then, it is just too perfect to resist.
Wishing anyone who is reading this a Happy Chinese New year. Just in case I take another long hiatus before I visited this lovely place which hold so much lovely memories for me.
Love
Perfectly Imperfect Me.
Labels: Happenings in life
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
5:54 PM
5:54 PM
Monday, July 06, 2009
I had been thinking about the subject of death lately. Might be linked to the recent demise of Micheal Jackson. Death usually occur in a sudden way. It will be nice if there were some ways to predict it. It will be nice to say goodbye to my loved ones before leaving them forever.
For example, would MJ still be rehearsing hard for his come back shows if he were to know that he was going to pass away on that fateful Tues night? What will you be doing if you know that you are going to leave this world soon?
Baby was playing Sims 3 at my home the other day. For the unknown, Sims 3 is a PC based game where you get to be a character and live a virtual life till you die. One thing that strike me was the sadness feel by her other half when he was the one left behind by the woman he loved the most.
All of a sudden, I felt frighten. What if the same was to happen to me? Would I have live the last moments with Baby differently?
That's why I am constantly reminding myself to be nice to my friends and loved ones. Life is real fragile. One can never predict when is the goodbye you just spoken be the last one heard by the other party.
I tried not to bear grudges now. In some way, age had mellow me. I am not as hot headed as before. I tried to appreciate all the little things in life. Things like a morning message from the lady of my life, a glass of water from mum, a message asking for a game of Dota from my friends, a simple dinner with my friends etc.
If I were to move on suddenly, I hope that it will be a celebration of my life. I do hope that I had made a difference in the lives of my friends. Hopefully, the difference is in a positive manner. If it is not to be, do forgive me. It is not easy to have played a part in someone's life when there are billions of people out there in this world.
Tears will definitely be shed. We are human after all. Death is a way frighten and engross me at the same time. Do we really go to heaven and join our loved ones or we have to go through the cycle of life again? I don't think we can ever get an answer.
Time for my bed. Just want to let all those who read this that I want to say a big thank you for being part of my life. Be it used to or an active role now. I give thanks for the blessing that I had gotten from all of you. Especially for Baby and my beloved Mum. For I will be nothing without her.
Labels: Life
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
10:55 PM
10:55 PM
Sunday, July 05, 2009
If you are living in planet Earth, I am quite sure that you would had read news that Micheal Jackson had passed on due to cardiac arrest. I was in shock on that morning when I read about the news on Channel News Asia. Sadness seep in after the initial shock as I had lost someone whom I idolized greatly when I was a child.
I remembering standing in awe in front of electronic stores selling television sets that were showing his MTV. Hits like Smooth Criminal and Thriller were two Mtvs that left an indelible mar on my childhood. I tried dancing like him but failed ultimately as my body is simply not make for dancing.
God had given him a talent to create great music that can break down all barriers. Be it race, language or religion. You just can't help but to groove along with his songs or stand still there watching his Mtvs. It is just sad that with the talent came along the unwanted baggage of having a lonely life.
People don't normally realize what greatness is until it had left us. I don't think there will ever be another King of Pop. I am just glad that people of my generation had the great privilege of seeing him when he was in his prime. Rest in peace. Sad I might be but all party must come to an end. I am just glad that you had left a great legacy of music to all of us.
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
Labels: Life
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
10:55 PM
10:55 PM
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A song for a good friend of mine. I think suit you to a T. I hope you find the Ms Right soon. :)
多情种
你说的话 总是 言不由衷
我不想骗你 可是 我真的都懂
我们是否心有 灵犀一点通
你的笑容是那么真实如梦
能否带我走出人生的迷宫
幸福的爱情 人说 千载难逢
美丽的恋爱 永远朦朦胧胧
迷人的眼神 和你的一举一动
让我相信 再荒谬的恋情
也有一片蔚蓝的天空
莫笑我 生来就是一个多情种
努力努力让的的爱情故事 与众不同
莫笑我 生我就是一倨多情种
努力不让我的情网落空
想念着你 谁能说爱人的心
不是冷漠世界里 最温柔的风
Labels: Life
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:22 PM
11:22 PM
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I had finally began my study leave. Ironical for someone like me to have been looking forward towards it when my days in Poly were infamous for the high rate of absence from my class. People do grow old and have a shift in their mentality. I believe that it is for the better though at times minds get corrupted by the temptation of money and power. Things that are the barometer of happiness for many living on this lovely planet.
My barometer of happiness had been and always will be in giving help and joy to people around me. The ironic part of these is that money plays a part in it. A good example will be the countless stream of elderly people peddling tissue papers or collecting cans. We can either buy their wares from them or send them to an elderly home but all these required something called money.
Is money the root of all evils or the antidote for all evils? I am still figuring this out as I ages but I do hope that my life will not be just about chasing the next dollar or the next higher position in the corporate world. Part of me think that by learning more about economics and finance I might be able to contribute to a better world. Another part of me is saying that the honest truth of me learning this is simply that Banking is the sector that gives the highest pay cheque.
Like it or not but those idiots at Wall Street that had plunged the world into one of the deepest recession in the world are still going to get a much higher pay than most of the average S'poreans. Ain't Economists people who understand the law of economics and help the world enjoy stable growth? Or had they been corrupted by the promise of easy cash which they can gain with their knowledge?
I think I think too much at times. The top priority now is to sort my mind out and be ready for the exams. For people who long for a satisfactory degree in any business modules, look no further than UOL. You will be in for the ride of your life. This is something that I can be DAMN sure of. Ha.
Labels: Life
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:52 PM
11:52 PM
