Life is a game of waiting.. Waiting for the right ride to take us off to the sunset

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Just watched a report(not sure if this is the right word for it) on Channel U. The topic today was on S'poreans leaving their parents alone to fend for themselves. I was so pissed at the end of the whole report. I mean just what is our society becoming of? Affluent citizens with so much money to burn that they can afford pedicure for their pet dogs but here we have a human being who is living alone. Lonely, suffering in a small one room flat with hygience so bad that you might think that this was S'pore in the 60s. Not 2005. Is the society moving so fast that we had forgotten about those who can't catch up with us? What had they done to deserve this? Definitely not because they chose to bring up their children who I deem as bastards in my eyes.

Part of the reason I am so piss is also with myself. I had a grandma who is staying at an old folks home which ironically was featured in the report. The main reason why she is there is because I have a Dad whose favourite past-time is gambling and womanizing. I am angry with myself for not having the ability to bring her home. I am more annoyed with my Dad(not sure if I should still call him that) for gambling away all her savings. See, my family used to be rich in the past. I know this might seems a bit far fetched but that guy lost away 2 stalls which my grandparents own, their life savings and not to say my mum lifetime savings. I think he should be the one in the old folks home. It is just not the way I wanted grandma to live the rest of her life. The is a thing we call dignity. I think my dad and I are stopping her from having any sort of dignity for the remainder of her life. I just can't see myself bringing her back home in the near future. I just don't have the financial mean. I am so afraid that she might just leave me suddenly. Alone, lonely and wondering just what she had done wrong in her life.

See, the only thing that she had done wrong was to pamper her child. She should have use the rod on my dad when he was young. Not to give in to his demands. I feel sad for both the child and the parents whenever he or she get her way with just a little bit of crying. Are we sowing the seeds for our future downfall? I think this will be the case when these future emperors and emperess grow up. They will be so self centred that they might just forget that without their parents, they will be nothing. Absolutely nothing. Fillial Piety to me is one very important value. I really hope those people who saw the report and can afford it, bring their parents back. They should let them spend the remainder of their life with the dignity and respect they deserve.

I really hope that more can be done for the elderly. All of us will grow old. It is the law of nature. Do you want to be like the lonely old man who is forced to stay alone and scrap on leftovers for food? I think the goverment should do more to stop the widening income gap. More relief must be provided for them. How can one live on $250 per month? With the raise on bus fare, don't they think it is the right time to give out more on relief? Are the shareholders of the transport companies in such bad condition that they have to worry about their next meal? If they are not, why not use a second and reflect if they can do more for those poor lonely souls.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:55 PM

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Was about to sleep when I chance upon Jiazz's(who "inspired" me to use the zz after a word) blog. Not sure how I can console her. I had been through what she is going through and I know how shitty it can be. The dreading of the day when it will happen. The day when someone whom u had treasure so much finally say goodbye to you. Before I talk more on this, got to talk about what happened last night.

Met up with Alson and his colleague Colleen for dinner. She is a young lady who I had just know recently. She is a happy go lucky lady who never fail to amuse me with her actions. She suggested going for some drinks after the dinner which we agreed to. Well, little did I know that she is doing that to escape the fact that his dad was suffering from cancer. She only told me about it when she had a sip too much. See, she felt that she is the most useless person in the world. Reasons being that she can't help her dad from his agony, not doing enough when he is around and why would God(if there is one) do something to a man she deemed to be the nicest in the world. Well, I am no God but I had always believe that things happen for a reason.

I also felt the same way she does when I was seeing my beloved Grandpa wasting his life away in front of my eyes. He was in a coma for near to 3 months. Things like this force us to grow up. Learning that everyday is really a gift that we must treasure. Doing things with passion and commitment. Telling the person we love just how much we love them. Living as if each day is the last for you. Life is never fair. Pain and disappointment is just part and parcel of growing up. Some realize it and move on to better things in life. Some dwell on it for much longer. I hope that she will try to move on. Spend more time with his Dad. It is the least she can do. She is not a doctor and definitely not God. She can't decide who stay and who goes. She should live her life to the fullest. Making sure that if her dad is able to survive this, he will be a very proud Dad. Proud that his daughter is fulfilling one of his dreams. I am sure all Dad will want happiness and success for their children.

This lead me to Jiazz. See, you are much more mature than Colleen. You just need to show more of your emotions. I mean don't pent it all up. Crying out does not mean that you are weak. I know that these are trying times for you. Your grandma, you seemingly lost in both your career and life and maybe some other stuff which I and your friends don't know. No man or in your case lady is an island. Try to talk more about your problems with people that you are comfortable with. It really helps. At least you know that you are not alone in this place we call Earth. I ain't good at counselling and consoling people but really hope to see you bouncing back from all these. Things that don't break you will only make you stronger. I also hope that your Grandma will go away peacefully but life like what I had said might just be unfair to your Grandma. My heart goes out to these two young ladies who is going through what I think is a valuable lesson in life. I am sure you will grow up to be a stronger person.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:32 PM

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Well well. Blogging now in the luxury of my home. Haha. Should be sleeping in a dirty bunk with mosquitoes biting me now. I managed to defer my reservist training. :) Don't know whether I should be happy or sad. Happy in a way that I can resume my civilian life. Sad cause my branch is severly short of manpower. Turns out that 2 other Specialists in my branch had also defered their in camp training. With me gone, they only have 2 Int Specs now instead of the required 4. Guys who had been through army should know the camarade guys have when we serve the army. Though I had only been through 1 in camp with them which was last year, it still feel good to see them again. Also met up with a very good friend of mine, Boon Chew, during NS. He is now the CSM of a coy in my Bn. (Branch= Int Branch or S2 Branch, Coy= Company, Bn= Battalion) Feel kinda bad as we used to chiong together back in the army. Now I got to leave him behind. I know some of my friends will find it hard to believe but I used to be quite garang when I was a trainee. I had this mentality that since you are going to spend 2 and a half years in the army, might as well give it your best shot and have fun. Fun is definitely what I had. Though I was grumbling and complaining back then. Who in the right frame of mind will spend the whole night wide awake cleaning rifle and go chiong straight away in the morning? Definitely not me now. Uncle liao lah. :P In the past, no kick for me man. Armour Rocks!!

Anyway, part of the reason why I wanted this deferment was the fact that I have zero sale till now. I am nearing my probation period soon and never in my wildest nightmare had I had this nightmare. No sale at all!! How could it be? Had a small disagreement with my Sales Director on Fri. He was kinda implying that I am not making an effort to close my prospects which is a shot totally under the belt. It takes two hands to clap in everything. I am trying my best but if they want to delay their decision or worse, don't get back to me at all, what am I supposed to do? Go and haunt them? He should know that it is hard considering that he went for a few appointments with me. I hate it when people who are supposed to be with me end up as the one who knife me at the back. I will be giving it my best shot for these last two weeks of my probation which conincidentally clashes with my in camp. Thus, I really got no choice but to leave my comrades back in Sungei Gedong. All the best GUYS!! I know it is hard(Sungei Gedong, mere mention of the name will turn men into zombies. Damn Sianzz) but I am sure with the experience that you guys had, it will be a breeze in the park. ;)

Got to go sleep now. Was thinking of talking about my experiences last Thurs(where I met a lady who is unbelivebably as good a drinker as me), my pulled groin muscle(damn PAIN!) on sat during soccer and the outing I had with the gang on Sat night(Damn Expensive and no chio bu :( ). Will talk about it when I have the time to blog again ba. Don't know why but kinda busy with work and other stuff nowadays. Nitezz.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:38 AM

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Just watched PCK the musical last night. Well, to be honest, it wasn't as good as I thought that it will be. The storyline wasn't that great and the songs are average. I am not an expert on musical but I think that for a musical to be nice, it must have a great storyline and music. There are still some gems in this musical though. I am impressed by the solid performance and singing of PCK, Frankie Foo and Margaret. They can sing very well which I think is critical to a good musical. I liked the Con Man song by Frankie Foo and also If I Have You sung by Gurmit Singh. The musical does have it funny moments but there were more dull moments as compared to funny ones. I still think that you guys should go and watch it. Must give local production SUPPORT!!

My birthday is coming soon. Didn't realize it till a friend of mine asked me when is my birthday over the msn. Yes. I will be 25 soon. Not uncle yet but definitely not a teenager anymore. ;) No concrete plans on how to spend it yet. I not really into celebrating birthday. I think the last time I celebrated it was when I was still in NS(2003). We went to Equinox and I ended up asking a gal for her no. Let's just said it is a stain on me that I can't wash off even till now. No way will I even think of approaching her if I was sober and awake. The last meaningful celebration I had should be with my ex gf ba. Always feel that birthday should be spent with your loved ones. Since I am single now(and I think for quite sometime), I should be spending it with friends ba. Thinking of going overseas but budget is as tight as tights on Lydia Sum thigh. Haha. My lameness showing up again.

I always find it hard to get gifts for my friends when their birthday approaches. Give them hong bao and they(mostly gals) will comment that you are not sincere. Give them shopping vouchers and they(mostly gals again) will also comment that you are not sincere. Buy the wrong gift and you will take the risk of seeing it on Yahoo Auctions. So for the convenience of all my friends and enenmies who are reading this, my list is as like below;(no order of preference) ;)

(1) X&Y album by Coldplay
(2) Monkey Business album by Black Eyes Peas
(3) Harry Potter book 3(except Order of The Phoenix) till the latest one that is coming out on 16 july(if I am not wrong)
(4) Deception Point and Digital Fortress by Dan Brown(2 remaining books of Dan Brown which I haven't read yet)
(5) Nice looking wrinkle free shirt preferbably from Raoul(running out of work attire)
(6) Treat me to Corrinne May only showcase in Esplanade on 10th August
(7) Palm Tungsten E( I will slave for whoever give me this)
(8) Creative Muvo MP3 player with built in FM radio(Selling for $205 at Yahoo Auctions)
(9) A pet dog from SPCA(They are really pitiful. Quite sure that I can take good care of them)

So you guys know what to get for my birthday then. Hong Bao(with $$ and not 4D or toto tickets) will of course be accepted with plenty of gratitude from me. Got to go sleep now. Nitezz...

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:40 AM

Sunday, June 12, 2005

I did something this morning which a lot of my frens won't believe it. I went to participate in the airbase cycling with Poh and gang. It was one hell of a ride. I never rode so long before in my life. We took the 15km route. Plus the fact that we cycle there and back. That will be another 10km. That's a total of 25km. Half of S'pore!! I woke up at 6.40 a.m for this somemore. On a SUNDAY!! Should had bought 4D just now. Speaking of 4D, I kinda believe now that I just don't have luck with lucky draw. See there was a draw at the end of the event. My no was 2035. Ah Hee who was behind me got 2036. The 8th prize no was 2036. Duh. And the best part was that he had lost his ticket. $100 worth of Shimano(a good brand of mountain bike) was gone just like that. The 3rd prize no was 2038. @$#%^ How come it is always ppl behind me who got the luck. This time I just missed out on a mountain bike worth $800. Suayness at its highest level. 2036 and 2038. Just no 2035. Damn u luck!!

The best thing that happened today was that we had fun. Though it rained at the beginning(I got a lot of stares from the gang as I am the famous Hor Shen!!) but we still managed to finish the track at the end. No shortcut somemore!! :) Was tempted to take a short cut at times but told myself die die must finish whole thing. Now my right knee is killing me. A bit of creaky sound in there. I am really getting old man. I used to run 15km like no kick k?? Now cycle 25 km and I am like a dead man. Duh.

Speaking of exercise, there will be another cycle up to KL. Anyone interested in it? It should be happening is Sept ba. Anyway, I had always like cycling. I like the feeling of the wind beating down on your face. Good form of exercise and cheap mode of transport. Used to cycle to and fro to my friends home. Now it is like; " Are you coming over to fetch me? If no I don't want to come out. " Lazy bum!! How I wish I can get my gang of friends to be more into sports. Always have difficulty in asking ppl out for rollerblading, cycling, canoeing etc. They are mostly interested in mahjong(can win my $$), ktv( can listen to my singing?? Haha), shopping(ever seen a beggar shop for stuff) and typical S'porean activity. Must be more outdoor!! We are still young k??

Damn hungry now. Still waiting for that stupid Vincent to arrive for my dinner. Really regret agreeing to meet him for food(he is good at pestering ppl. Gals who need tips can learn from him. Best in S'pore and JB!!) I give up. Will call him to forget abt it. I go cook my noodles. Damn tired.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
10:40 PM

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I know u guys will be surprised. How the hell can I blog now. Office hours plus the fact that a lame guy like me can't possibly have so much Words of WISDOM to talk about for 2 consecutive days. Well, as the saying goes, The FORCE is strong in me. Speaking of this remind me the sad fact that I still hadn't watched Star Wars 3!! It is either the case of no tickets(which I had been able to forseen and told my padawans around me but to no avail) or no one is free to watch it with me. I think setting up a business where people can hook up with each other to watch a movie they like seems a good idea now. For poor and lonely souls like me(quite sure there are quite a no out there), friends will not be the only option. For those who are attached, pls stop smiling at this idea. I used to think that it was useless when I was in your shoe. Duhz.

To be honest, I can't really think of a topic to talk about now. Am supposed to do my calling but with my boss not around me, it is hard to get myself into the groove for the job. For people who listen to Yes 933 either willingly or being forced(due to colleagues, friends or family blasting it), this is for you. We should start a petition to ask the station to stop Blaring out Lau Xu Ai Da Me(correct me if I am wrong on the Han Yu Ping Yin) at a rate of once every hr!! It is getting on my nerves. The song is not bad with a catchy chorus but is there a need to blare it out every now and then. I hear it on radio stations, TV Ads, departmental stores, VCD stores and even kids singing it in public. Spare me please. Somemore now the ad on 933 is the techno version. As if the original version is not Fan enough. Duhzz.

I think I will end my blog here lah. Hungry. 40 more mins to off!!! Hahahaha

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
5:20 PM

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Friends who had me on MSN should know that I am damn PISSED with Chelsea or should I say Chelski. To let gals who think that the greatest soccer players are Beckham and Owen know more about what had happened, I will tell how the whole thing started. See, in soccer there is a rule which state that you can only talk to any staff of the club when you have approval from the club. Chelsea decided to oblige the rules with a twist. They actually cc the letter to the staff they are asking about who in this case is Frank ARSEhole. Well, this ARSEhole was tempted and asked to be let off his contract. The reason why I am so pissed is that this guy was thinking of retirement and Spurs(My Fav club) had gone out of the way to speak to him, convince him that he still have a lot to offer to soccer and pay him a lucrative 3 years contract with us. Now, he is taking off the moment he knows that Chelski is willing to pay him 3 times his current pay. Does he know what is LOYALTY??? He would have been a retiree if not for Spurs. He would have bloody rot in somewhere if not for us. I had being betray and this episode had left a sour taste in my mouth. Disgusted with both him and Chelski.

For gals(yes u again) who still think that Manure is the best team around, Chelski is the best team now. I hate to admit it but it is the cold hard truth. The reason of them being so good is due to a man who is famous for dodgy business dealings in his own home land and getting rich through a lot of favours given by the corrupt goverment back then. Part of the reason he is staying at UK now is to avoid prosecution from his own goverment. This guy obviously don't give a damn to money. The way he had spent is like how gals will spend it on buying shoes(100 times!!) They can afford to spend 24 miilion pounds(don't know how many pairs of shoes) on a guy who can't score even 20 goals a season. They can afford to poach off the best staff and players from their rivals as they have a owner who had obviously failed his accounts back in school. A deficit of over 60 million pounds a year is not sustainable for any business. Only Chelski can afford to have this kind of balance sheet. I really hope Manure(no way will I support the fuc@#ing GOONERS) recover. They are the only team who can bring Chelski down though I don't really see it happening. How to bring down a team whose manager think that Wayne Bridge is too lousy a leftback(he is an England International like Beckham and Owen for gals who is wondering who the hell is he)

Close friends of mine should know that the team closest to my heart is Tottenham Hotspurs. I had been in love with them since I was 10. 15 years of unwavering support though there were many times I find myself the centre of ridicule. I think we should be loyal in whatever things we do. Be it to your company or to your lover. If we had come to a point where a contract means nothing, a promise is meant to be broken and a marriage to end up in a divorce, I really feel sad for the futrue generation. Just that this bad episode had kinda make me more convince that promises and contract means nothing now. Maybe it is just me. Go rot in HELL. Frank ARSEHOLE and CHELSKI!!!

Got to go sleep now. 12 liaoz. Nitez. Damn. I am beginning to use the zz thingy. Duh!

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:46 PM

Monday, June 06, 2005

Well, my weekend had gone by just like a breeze again. Just what the hell had I done over the weekend? Well, fri night was spent with Pig Head, Alson and BB. Had dinner at Sake Sushi(I prefer Sushi teh) with Pig Head and Alson. Hadn't seen her for quite a while and like what she had said, she is really tanned now. Just feel that the tanned look don't really suit her leh. She should try to get whiter lah. Look prettier. Anyway, she seemed to be stress out from work(I hope). I mean she had resumed her bad habit again. Well, if you are reading this, try to talk to people just what is really bothering you ba. Get more rest. You looked like a zombie.

Sat was spent rotting at home. Yupz. A day gone just like that. Was woken up at around 11 by my neighbours who seemed to enjoy playing soccer along the corridor every Sat morning. @#%^&! Well, I used to do it when I was their age so I guess what goes round come round. Was about to go out at around 9 p.m but the outing was cancelled at the last min. Ended up with Vincent at 85 market(We seems to always end up there on either Fri or Sat nights). Feel bad for him lah. It was his birthday and he got to spend it like that. I mean birthday should be spend with friends doing things that you like ba. I am sure having supper with me at 85 market don't fit that bill.

Woke up at 11 again today. Seems like I had past the age of sleeping till 2 or 3 ba. Part of it is due to this freaking hot weather. Went to the PC show with Hee, Poh and his wife. Didn't bought anything(no $$). Just wanted to go out instead of cooping myself at home. Came along an article in Sunday Times on some of the most ulu places in S'pore. I am glad that finally there is an article telling people just how ulu Sungei Gedong is. I am kinda tired of explaining just how ulu it is to my female frens and guy frens who were lucky never to have been posted there. It is nearer to JB then Kranji ba. It is so near to Malaysia that I can receive better signal for TV 1, 2 or 3 than our TCS channel. The worst thing is that I need to serve out my reservist stint(12 years!!??!!) there. :( Is this some sort of retribution for my eagerness to perform during my NS??!!?? Duh..

Finally got Charlie and the chocolate factory from the library. Actually, my interest in reading was started by my Eng teacher when I was in Pri 3. The first book she read to us was Fantastic Mr Fox by Roald Dahl. Felt in love with the books of Roald Dahl from then. His writing is always humourous and imaginative. Decided to re-read his books all over again. I was still young when I last read it. So kinda forgot abt it liaoz. With the movie starting soon, I don't want to go into the theatres without knowing what the story is really about. Let me know if you are interested. It is a nice book.

Well, got to go sleep. Working half day tomorrow as got to take a test by Prudential in the afternoon. Sianzz. Not sure what the test is for but since it is an open book test, I think I should pass. Nitezz..

P.S: If you are reading this, hope that you will give some thoughts on the thingy on PCK Musical. It would be great to watch it together. I am ok if you can't make it. ;)

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:10 PM

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Can't believe that my last post was on 24th of May. Am I really that busy? Let me turn back my clock and see what the heck had I done so far. Last weekend was spent on playing soccer. Yup. I know it sounds unbelievable but I played back to back games on Sat and Sun. Sun was with my gang of poly friends who I hadn't seen in a while. Great to see them again after such a long gap. Had one of my fav meals when I was in poly after the soccer game(Half Spring Chicken at Clementi Central). Nice. Took a bus 196 home rather than the faster method of MRT after the meal. It could had been a great ride with a nice book in hand, great music and great atmosphere with the rain coming down as the bus roared forward. But a bunch of noisy kids got to spoil it all. I was the unlucky guy when they chose to take Service 196 to Parkway instead of a bus. Worst thing was they woke me up when I was in dreamland after my reading. Kids.. Hate it when they are having sch holidays. There shall be a rule restricting the noise level they can create when they are on PUBLIC transport. (Note the word PUBLIC)

Am quite guai as I had been going back home almost everyday after work. Reading my books(I do read and it is true) and watching National Geographic and Discovery channel. I know it sounds unlike me but with the drama serials at Channel 55, 8 and U being sucky, I think documentaries are more worth my time watching them. And with my PC still out of order dun know till when, I really dun know when I can continue on with my OC Season 2(Stuck at episode 21) and Desperate Housewives(stuck at episode 11).

Anyway, feel free to visit http://jiazz.blogspot.com/ when u are too bored with my blog(I think this will happen quite often) and sick of porn(this will happen to my friends, Wahaha). It is a nice blog by a very nice gal.

Last thing to add before I go to my well deserved sleep. I am damn against the increment of bus and train fares. It is not as if the transport companies are doing badly. If an income level of 300+ million is considered as bad result, what kind of level are they looking to sustain it at? I know most people will say that it is only a few cents but that's not the point. The point is is there a need for the increment? A 10 cent increment for passengers paying by cash is going to be tough on the poor. They might not have enough money to top up their EZ link cards and forced to pay more than they can afford. Imagine yourself being $3 down before u even start work. And we are talking abt ppl with income level of less than $700 here. The helping fund of 4 million is a joke as compared to the 12-15 million more that the transport companies can earn from this blood sucking excercies. We are talking about a monopoly of service right here in S'pore who is aggressively promoting free trade with other countries. It is the same with cable TV. What competition will there ever be for transport companies when each of them is allocated areas to cover and with an unwritten agreement not to infringe on the other party. This is a sick joke. Competition to me is opening up the market and even if there is a clash of bus routes, let it be. The best and cheapest will survive. This will be good news to consumers. Not an increment in fares when the wage is still the same after all these years. And the major disappointment I had was that the majority of the public being ok with it. I am really doubtful if they are really agreeable with it or they see no means in kicking up a big fuss.

Well, got to simmer down now. I still got work to do(at quite a pathetic pay) and need to sleep now. Nitezzz....

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:33 PM