Friday, August 20, 2010
Skipped my class due to work commitments today. I think the temptation was too huge when home is only a 10 mins bus ride away while school is a total of one and a half hours worth of journey time away. Been quite a while since I am alone at home on a Fri night.
Just finished watching Toy Story 3 and I got to say that the best cartoons I had watched thus far are mostly from Pixar. The most important thing in any movie is always the storyline. I was thinking that there shouldn't be anything much to expect from Toy Story 3 considering that there had already been 2 brilliant prequels before this. I would just say that it had exceed all my expectations.
I won't really give the story away but the final part is one of the most touching scene in the whole movie. Though not as good as the first 15 mins of Up, it did bring a lump to my throat as I were watching. Friends who had watched this should know what I am talking about.
That scene reminded me of how I had grown to an adult and how mum had aged as time passed by. Time is merciless in that it seems to be flying faster and faster as I am growing older and older. I remembered that when I was a little boy, I had always loved sticking with Mum in anything she does. One sentence that I will always remember though I am unclear when my Mum said it is this. "Son. One day you will find me troublesome and naggy that you wouldn't want me to be around you"
I am feeling a deep sense of guilt here as I admitted that when I was in the growing up phrase from my poly days till recent years back, I were really beginning to find her a chore at times with her nagging. This feeling will still appear from time to time when I yearn for some personal space and time. I felt guilty as I am very sure that when Mum was carrying me along, the thought of wanting some personal time and space had never cropped up in her mind.
She was a lowly educated divorcée with an unreasonable father to support. Bringing me along was not a necessary option for her. It even greatly reduced the chance of getting someone who might be the next future partner for her. If the selfish thought of wanting the best for herself came into her mind, there wouldn't be me around to blog about this.
I don't know how I would have ended up like. I don't even dare to think about it. For all that she had done, I long to be able to let her do what she like for the remaining years that I can have with her.
I know that separation come to everything and everyone in life. It is just that the human heart find it difficult to be ready for that moment no matter how prepare you are telling yourself to be. I don't know when my Mum will become another memory in my life. Honestly, just thinking about this bring tears to my eyes for there are so many things that I wanted to do for her which are not done yet.
To that someone on top looking down on us, I hope to be able to succeed in my new career and be able to let my mum retire. Doing the things she like and spending time with her whenever she need me. I am consoled by the fact that I have a loving girlfriend who understood why I am so close to my mum. I just guess deep in my heart, I longed for the days when I were the apple in the eyes of my mum. A little boy who always liked to stick with her in anything she does.
I love you mum. You can be sure that my birthday will always be a gentle reminder that I owe everything I have now to you.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:28 PM
11:28 PM
