I think my bad luck is coming back to haunt me again. It rained this morning when I stepped out for work. I thought I was lucky to have brought an umbrella along with me but I never knew that it was that small. Plus the fact that I picked Denise up along the way result in me being hall wet(One side of my body is wet as the umbrella is simply too small for 2). Thought things will change for the better when I reached office. Was checking my mail for any arrows when my mum called. Expecting the usual thing like going home for dinner or what I want for dinner. To my surprise she told me that she can't watch SCV. See my mum is who I will call a TV Fanatic. She is so into VV Drama that a day without it seems like an eternity to her. Reminded me to pay the bills so that normal service can be resume. Starhub. It is always so Fucking ACCURATE when it come to cancellation of their services. How I wish they are so able to deliver on their other promises. Like broadband speed of what they had promised when I signed that 2 year contract, no disruption of the LA Liga match of the Season between Barcelona and Real Marid and no fuzzy MTV channel from time to time. Hell I pay $15 per month just for that fucking sports channel. $15 for it to keep screwing up on me?? I hate monopoly. Singtel, though I hate u too as u are a GLC but please enter the market to challenge Starhub. They are getting away with murder.

Bills bills bills. Calulated that the bills I got to pay this month will be an enormous amount of $600. This include some debts that I got to pay to my creditors. There is one part of the money which is not supposed to be paid out at all. Thanks to some fucker who refuse to pay LGM the money back. I wish he will rot in hell. A lot of buggers had been taking the advantage that LGM is still young in the business. Damn. Think my holiday plans for the next long weekend is screw. How to go for a holiday when I don't even have enough for myself?? The best part is after paying that amount I will still be in debt. Smaller sum but still in debt. How I wish I can clear them soon. Feel so stupid having to keep on paying and paying.

Well, got to go back to work. Hope to have some sales coming in soon. :)

---

Need to get this off my system. For friends of mine who unfortunately are fans of ARSEnal, please stop telling me that Spurs lost to ARSEnal. Do anyone really think that Spurs stand a chance of winning over at Highbury?? Why not take this opportunity and reflect why are you guys still battling for second place and watching Chelsea play in the semi final of The Champions League? Was that your aim at the start of the season?? Well correct me if I am wrong but won't you the same bunch of people who said that you are going to win The Champions League and retain the Premier League?? At least Spurs is doing above expectations. No one gave us a chance to qualify for Europe this season with a brand new squad. Unlike some other teams. I rest my case.

As you guys know that I am now a hardworking and punctual worker for my new company. I am always up by 7.30 in the morning(that explains the less blogging) and in the office before 9. With Champions League on this week, my sleep had been a mess. I will sleep before 11 and wake up at 2+. After watching soccer, I will go back to sleep and wake up again. So do forgive me if I am slightly irritated when you see me. Lack of sleep.

Taking the rush hour train also enable me to see something funny. Credits got to be given to the ladies of S'pore. They never fail to amaze me of their ability to squeeze into the train even when it seems impossible. Best part is that they will always be able to chop a seat once it become available. I am not those who are desperate for seat(it's only a 25 mins ride) but am amaze by just how fast their reaction is. There are also some who will give you " You are not a gentleman if you dare take that seat which I had been aiming since I am here " look. There are also those who will go home together after work. What they do is something that pisses off me to the max. They will gossip for the whole train ride about other female colleagues or their own lady boss. They are like the newcaster of SMRT train. Trying to let everyone know how bitchy the other party is. Kinda ironic. It's ok if they stop after a while. But for the whole train journey( Tanjong Pagar to Bedok), I am amaze that they still have the voice to talk when they reach home. One thing I can't stand about ladies is bitching. Get a life. I am trying to concentrate on my book or game so just SHUT UP.

---

Well, I blogged this from the bus on my handphone. I don't have a PDA so I guess handphone is the next best option. Was not sure whether I will transfer what I had blogged on the bus here but here I am doing it now. I am just so BORED. Just had one of the worst night out with my friends. It had started out well with my favourite steamboat dinner at Golden Mile centre before proceeding to K Lounge at Cineleisure. It was all downhill from then on. Felt quite bad for Yupei who had made the effort to join me. She was at her home resting and enjoying her own private time and I got to screw it all up. Sorry.

K-Lounge was booked for the night by a company when I reach there. Never noticed the name of the company but boy was I pissed with my own luck. Hardly anyone goes there and it is fucking book on the night I decided to go there. What are the odds?!!? I think it is time for me to buy 4D. We ended up in a lousy Ktv pub with new songs that I wanted to sing but never got to. Gave in to my friends when they suggested sitting at the outside of the pub. Talk about luck. Wanting to sing, with songs available and I ended up not singing at all. The night ended with me paying and drinking one jug of beer all by myself. How shitty can a friday night be??

Not blaming my friends here. Just blaming myself for asking them out. One of them looks like he had never slept for ages and another who just wanted to come out. When the fuck is NUS going to end their exams??!!?? I need to drink with you bro. I am awaiting the day you finish your paper. Bring Keith along. Gonna celebrate your upcoming birthday and Spurs doing the double over Newcastle. :P

Currently listening to Jacky Cheung Concert CD. The one where he sang all those famous songs of other singers. It is a great CD and I got it for only $9.90. :) My version is imported from China but who cares?!? I am a poor man and all I want is just to get good music at the lowest price. Also chasing Long Vacation on Channel 56, SCV. Do watch it if you have SCV and never seen the show before. It is the first Jap-Drama that I watched and an all time classic. Great plot, great cast (doubt they will ever find one as good as this cast) with a great soundtrack to boot.

---

Well, the title says it all. Friends of mine who are in the NUS and NTU are busy studying. I am busy working. Friends of mine who are unemployed are busy looking for jobs and not wanting to spend too much on pleasure. I am busy working. Friends of mine who are attached don't have time for me. I am busy working. Friends of mine who just started on their work like me want to go home and rest or rot after work. I am busy working.

Really hoping that I can have some sort of vacation during the upcoming long weekend. Hell, I would even be happy even if it means just spending one night roughing out in Pulau Ubin. I just need to get away from this city. Get away from all the noise, stress and buildings which look so cold and unfamilar to me. I can't even finish my book and it had been 3 weeks. I need time to relax. Destress. Just give me a place with a view of the ocean and closeness to nature. Would love that more than anything.

Going to sleep now. I wake up at 7.30 every morning and sleep before 12 every night. I think I will sleep at 12.30 in the future. Thanks to SCV Channel 56 which is showing a very nice anime. Dun know what is the title in English but do catch it. It is nice. One of my favourite anime of all time. Till then.... Zzzzzzz......

---

Clean up any loose ends. That goes double in regards to relationships.

Just saw this on my friendster horoscope. In case you guys don’t know, I am quite a sucker for horoscope. I am what you will call a typical cancerian. I am sentimental, emotional and like to hide behind a false front. Maybe that’s the reason why I like to blog. I mean here I am behind my laptop and I can just type out whatever that comes to my mind. I doubt I can do that in front of people. I am shy at times (Yes, I am. Stop laughing) and I had always found writing a better way for me to vent off any anger or emotions that I had in me.

That’s why I like reading, writing and listening to music. Oneself can do all this. No need to seek help from others. No need to let people know that I am feeling down. I got to admit that I am one who tends to run away from my troubles. Just like how a crab would bury itself in a hole whenever it sense trouble. My home is like a safe haven for me.

How I wish I could have the courage to clear up this loose ends that I had created. But so far all I had done was just run and hide. I am not like that when it comes to work. Total contrast. In work, I want to deal with the problem as soon as possible before it escalates to something serious. Well, at least it is not that serious yet. I think. A friend of mine told me that it is nice to know that someone is missing you even after all this years. Well, I am not sure how she will feel. Maybe she will feel this way or maybe she will feel that I am just like a pest who refuses to die and go away.

I prefer to let things run naturally. Like all cancerians, I am not that good in expressing how I feel. I doubt I can say anything in front of her. I will be speechless. Or should my friends say, gutless. :)

Sorry if I am bothering you guys with all my whining. It is kind of boring, I think, for you guys to read through all this. Anyway, I am still hoping to go on holiday during the upcoming long weekend. Do let me know if you guys have any plans. The keyword here is Budget. I am a poor man seeking a good vacation. ;)

---

I am bored. I had finished my tasks on hand. Seems like I am too efficient for my own good. See at my company, they don’t like to rush things through. They like to take their time to go through your work before approving it. I had finished the paper ad that we are going to mass send to other companies and my slideshow is almost done. The best part is, the software I am selling is still not up and running yet. There are still bugs in it. How to sell? Hoping that my software engineer can sort out the problem so that I can start going out to talk to people. It is boring and no fun staying at the office from 9 to 6 everyday. :(

I am thinking of going to Bintan or KL during this upcoming labour holiday. It had been a while since I had a holiday. I am planning this on a shoestring budget. Hope that I can get my pay in before the holiday or this entire dream will amount to nothing. I had always been a lover of sea sports though I can’t swim well. It is kinda related to a scary incident I had when I was a child. I think I was about 5 or 6 then. I was at a birthday party (My mom’s boss’s son) then and they had this big and nice swimming pool. My experience at swimming up to that stage was just playing a fool at the baby pool. So you can imagine the shock I got when I just jumped in. I was caught in no man land or should I say water. I can’t float nor can I sink. I was lucky that someone managed to save me up before I drank up the whole pool. I had a phobia of water from then on. The ironic part is that I had always like looking out at the ocean. It just gives me this calm and smoothing feel whenever I look at it. The most beautiful beach that I had ever been to was the one I visited after Exercise Wallaby in Australia. I took some pictures of it. Visit my Yahoo Photos to see it. I can’t recall the name of the place though.

The sand was white and fine. The water is so clear that you can see your toe when your feet are submerged in it. There was also a restaurant facing the sea there. How I wish I could live at a place like that. I don’t really fancy S’pore beaches. Too crowded and the water is always full of sand and worse, rubbish. I really hate people who litter. Don’t they realize that the litter will be washed into drains and end up in our rivers and our beaches? S’poreans are just plain selfish and lazy at times.

Anyway, do let me know if you guys are interested in going for a vacation. I really don't want to waste my long weekend. :)

---

I am quite sure most of you had just watched the last edition of NKF show for this year. So did you guys make any calls to support them? If yes, how many calls did you made? If no, why? Well I did made a few calls. I think my mum made more than me. But what irks me is the way the hosts keep on stressing the prizes that we can win if we call now or if we make the $50 call which will give us a bigger percentage change of winning the car.

I am quite sure most of you guys already know that NKF might be getting too rich for their own good. I am not against them. In fact I just received a letter from them thanking me for donating $5.50 monthly to them for the past one year. But what make me uneasy is the constant stress on the prizes we stand to win if we call and donate our money. Is this the right way to go? I remember the Tsunami fund raised by S'poreans stood at an amazing figure of 84 million. Never for once was any prizes offered by The Red Cross. This shows that S'poreans are not that miserable when it comes to helping those less unfortunate. If only we can donate these so called prizes to NKF, I think they might not even need so many calls every year from us.

So is this NKF thingy a charity event for us or just a chance for us to win that fancy condo and car. I would like to see them host it once without the prizes. Just ask the sponsor to donate the amount straight to NKF. I think the it will serve the patients better. The reason why my mum and I called is because of those sad stories that they played before going for a commercial break. Those stories are the reason why I would willingly fork out my money to them. Not those fancy prizes. If the prizes are part of the reason for people donating, I don't think that we are getting the right message across. We should always help those less unfortunate irregardless of prizes or no prizes. Are we setting a good example to our young ones? I know of people who is treating this like Toto. Though it is more expensive, you stand a higher chance of winning with so many prizes being offered. I think NKF is going up the wrong path.

We should instead concentrate on those poor patients who are really finding it hard to survive at this place we call home. They deserve our greatest respect for the dignity they had showed even when all the odds seem to be against them. I will be cancelling my donation to NKF once I find out how it is done. No offence to them but I rather donate more to The Community Chest who I think is really using the right approach is asking for donations.

---

Posting the lyrics of some of my favourite chinese, cantonese songs on a lazy Sat afternoon. Feel free to message me if you want to know what song is that. ;)

是与非　爱与恨　留或走　全都难免有错
多少人　多少情　都路过已经不能强求
回头看我脸上的落寞
又是谁让我染上寂寞
有多深　有多浓　有多真　全都难免有错
该放弃　该伤心　都难以选择何去何从
一身憔悴已无话可说
情绪飘零有如何
终究还是不能眠不能说


天气不似如期 但要走 总要飞
道别不可再等你 不管有没有机
给我体贴入微 但你手 如明日便要远离
愿你可以 留下共我曾愉快的忆记
当世事再没完美 可远在岁月如歌中找你


人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
怎奈你最够刺激我 凡事也治到倒我
几多黑心的教唆 我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火 就击倒我么

谁恋爱就多障碍 死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱 我没法活得来
情人的存在 是我从来都志在 难在我拱手让爱


翻着我们的照片 想念若隐若现
去年的冬天 我们笑得很甜
看着你哭泣的脸 对着我说再见
来不及听见 你已走得很远
也许你已经放弃我 也许已经很难回头
我知道自己错过 请再给我一个理由
说你不爱我 就算是我不懂 能不能原谅我
请不要把分手当作你的请求
我知道坚持要走是你受伤的藉口
请你回头 我会陪你一直走到最后
就算没有结果 我也能够随
我知道你的痛 是我给的承诺
你说给过我纵容 沉默是因为包容
如果要走 请你记得我 如果难过 请你忘了我

有心爱你却爱不到 抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散之后 就会知 原来谁最好
爱不到至会更想爱 抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到 男与女之间 爱情的定数


害怕连累你一生 日月憾无缺 只差跟你曾遇过
给过你太多波折 宁愿没拥抱 共你可到老
任由你来去自如 在我心底仍爱慕 如若碰到
他比我好 只望停在远处 祝君安好 虽不可亲口细诉
说 太多话我想说 但我还是要哑口道别


雨后的城市 寂寞又狼狈
路边的座位 它空着在等谁

我拉住时间 它却不理会
有没有别人 跟我一样很想被安慰

风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁
天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁
心 暖了又灰 世界
有时候孤单的很需要另一个同类

爱 收了又给 我们都不太完美
梦 作了又碎 我们有几次机会 去追
不晓得为甚么爱 又稀少又昂贵

云在半空中 被微风剪碎
回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不对

---

I am damn tired now and all I want is to have a good night rest. But whenever I shut my eyes, my mind will be so awake. Thinking of her. Thinking of how I can made up to her and how I can ask her out?? The more I don't want to think of her, the more I think of her. I am getting tired of all this. Why must one mind wander? Can't we just let nature run its course? Why can't my mind think of other things instead of her??


she's always on my mind,
from the time i wake up
'till i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know

though she's so far away
it's just keeps getting stronger
every day
and even now she's gone
i'm still holding on

so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go


maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

my friends keep telling me
that if you really love her
you've gotta set her free
and if she returns in kind
i'll know she's mine

so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go


why i live in despair
'cause wide awake or dreaming
i know she's never there
and all these time i act so brave
i'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so...

---

Yes. It is another post from me. To people whom are reading this, I am beginning to wonder if you guys are just plain bored or really care about my well being (I would take the latter). Anyway, I am always open to treats from anyone so…. :) Reading is not as good as the real deal. Let me entertain you. ;)

Let’s see what can I talk about now. To be honest, I am running out of creative juices. Looks like I got to get myself wet first (pun intended). ;P Anyway, I had been downloading Star Wars movies recently to watch it all over again. My favorite episode is still Episode 5, The Empire Strikes back. It is the episode with Darth Vader telling Luke Skywalker that he is his father. I am sure most of you guys had heard the most famous dialogue in the whole series.

Darth Vader: “ I am your father, Luke”

Luke: “… Nooooooo!!!!!!”

I always have a grin on my face whenever I see this scene. In my memories is the Hokkien version made famous by S’poreans who forwarded it to each other and I dare say maybe to the rest of the world.

Darth Vader: “Luke, Wa Shi Nin Lau Pei.”

Luke: “Ni Mu Shi!!! Ni Mu Shi Wa Lau Pei!!! Arghh!!”

Anyway, the Force will be back with us on the 17th of May 2005. I am really waiting for that day to come. Finally we can know what makes the talented Anakin Skywalker to step over into the dark side. The only thing cool about the dark side is the cool black mask he was able to wear (I would pay to be able to wear it and use that husky voice). ;) I had been waiting for this day ever since I heard that George Lucas is shooting the prequel. So far, Episode 1 and 2 have been a disappointment. It is sad when the best Star Wars movie in the franchise is still Episode 5. Well, I had seen quite a number of books about the production in bookstores. It looks promising. The trailer is also damn cool and I am quite confident that George Lucas will be able to pull it through. He had better do. I had waited a long time for this.

---

I am blogging from my office now. I guess you guys roughly have an idea just how busy I am. Well, I guess it is because this is the first day of work. That’s why I am so bored and trying my best to fight the Z monster. For gals who don’t know what is the Z monster, it is a term that is popular with the authorities in the SAF. Everytime a Z monster strikes you, you are most likely going to fall asleep in less than 5 mins. The monster seems to have a preference to strike you after lunch and especially when you are dress in green. I am sure that guys will agreed with me when I said that when we are dress in green (I.E: Wearing our green SAF uniform), we will all feel very lethargic and sleepy. But once we are out of the army camp and dress in our civilian wear, we will all be like on Ecstasy. We will be so full of life and zest that I myself find it hard to believe that I was tired just a few hours ago.

Since we are on this topic, I might as well voice out my comments on teenagers wearing army trouser as their bottom. I really can’t fathom the reason behind it. If they were in the army, wearing a t-shirt with the army trouser can only mean one thing. It is Sai Kang time. For those who don’t know what Sai Kang means, it can be literally translate into Shitty Work. So how shitty is this Shitty Work? Well, all I can say is that it can range from simple tasks such as cleaning up the conference room after the officers had their fun talking cock, wasting time and taxpayers money away to task of such big magnitude that only the SAF had the ability to undertake. What do I mean by such big tasks? The biggest Sai Kang that I had gotten was washing the tarpaulin (the thing that is used to cover up the pitch for the troops to march and stand on) that was used by NDP 2002. It was the NDP with the Stephanie Sun theme song. Washing the tarpaulin is not a simple task. I remember it took our whole Brigade one whole day just to wash it and another half a day to fold it up once it had dried up. Not to say that it weight a ton and shifting it around is not child’s play. The best part was that I had injured my left thumb (dislocated it and it hurts like hell) during that time, but still I got to go help pull it out (it was in layers) and wash it together with my friends. The reason why they used us and not the contractors was that we are working for free and the contractors will charge them a bomb for the sheer audacity to think of such a task. Let’s just say that Stephanie Sun was not my favorite singer during that time.

All I am trying to say is that please don’t think that it is cool wearing a T-Shirt with army pants. It is damn distressing for guys who had been through NS. Pardon me if this post bores you (most likely you are a gal who don’t understand what the f$%^ I am talking about and wondering why do guys always talk about their army life??). After typing out such a long post, it is still not 4 yet. Still got 2 hours plus to go before I can call it a day. If you can hear me, God of Rain, Lightning and Thunder. Don’t rain now. You will only make it worse for me. How I wish I could just doZe off now. Zzzzzzzzzz.

---

Another 失眠 night for me. Well, I was kinda sleepy earlier in the night. But after coming back from a Super supper with Hongsheng, I am too full to sleep. To be honest, I am not sure if it was a matter of me being too full or thinking too much. I had a Prata Tissue, Maggi Goreng and 2 cups of Teh Tarik from Simpang Bedok. For those who don't know, I am a sucker for Indian Muslim Food. As in their Pratas, Mee Goreng and Teh Tarik.

One of the things that are in my head now is definitely her. I know I may sounds like a broken record but I was unsuccessful in my earlier bid in getting her out for dinner. Seems like she is really busy with her work. Well, I am quite sure I will be busy with work come Mon. I am currently planning to run a Push Cart selling KeyChains and accessories with some of my friends. Been doing some research and quite confident that we can pull it through if we work hard together. If everything goes according to plan, we should start off in June. Kenn will be finishing his exams in May. After that, it will be a busy period for LGM. LGM had been kinda lull recently but I am sure we will be back with a bang. For those who don't know what I am saying, visit www.lookingglassmodels.com. Yes, I am the Talent Manager for Looking Glass Models. We will be 1 come this August. We might not have done too well but not that bad either. I am confident that LGM is moving in the right direction. We are here to stay. ;)

Never really told a lot of people about LGM. Don't like the idea of my manager knowing that I have a sideline. Also with the stigma that come along with my line of work, just don't feel like letting so many people know about it. Anyway, it is not as glamorous as people think. Even a simple thing as a portfoilo shoot will take up at least half a day and if it is a outdoor shoot, we are at the mercy of the heaven. Some models are also quite diva and it is not that easy to communicate with them. The worst part is that some of the so called divas are not that pretty in the first place. Talk about anger management. I think I had been quite good in it thus far.

I will be having a soccer game in less than 6 hours from now. I think I will go for it( if it don't rain. The last 2 games were a washout ). I will then go out for a walk. I must tire myself so that I can get used to the clock of sleeping at 12 midnight latest and waking up at 7.30 a.m. I can't afford to be late on the first day or work. I had been sleeping less than 6 hours for the past few days. But still my mind is wide awake. Your mind will really tend to run wild when you are alone. Damn. I must get a dog once my pay come in. I am a bit sick and tired of being all alone at night. I am sick of being alone. I got to admit it. Loneliness is just like cancer. It will spread to other aspects of your life. Nowadays, I hardly ask my friends out. Prefering just to stay at home watching movies that I have downloaded or just surfing the net. My PC is just like my wife now. God knows what I will do should anything happens to it.


你哭着对我说, 童话里都是骗人的, 我不可能是你的王子. 也许你不会懂, 从你说爱我以后 我的天空星星都亮. 我愿变成童话里, 你爱的那个天使, 张开双手, 变成翅膀守护你. 你要相信, 相信我们会像童话故事里, 幸福和快乐是结局.

---

Had a great night last night watching Champions League with 2 of my best friends, Weiguo and Muquan. I had known these 2 guys ever since I was 5. I know this sounds remarkable but this is how far our friendship stretch back. Haven't really been keeping in touch with Muquan but is glad that he is still the same. Having him around is always great as he is such good at starting topics to talk about. It was like the old days. The three of us would have supper first follow by watching the match. We chatted till around 7 in the morning before going to sleep. I even packed up my room so that the 3 of us can squeeze into my room. :) It was just like in the old days. :) Though I doubt we can do this often as I will be starting my new job on Mon. More on that later. I also won a small sum of money courtesy of Chelsea and AC Milan. But sad to say all my winning were channeled back to Weiguo as I am still owe him somemoney. :( Nonetheless the debt is decreasing by the day. ;)

One of the topic we talked about was about the high costs of hospitalisation nowadays. Muquan's father was hospitalised for near to a year and as a result of that, his mum medisave is almost wiped out. Not to mention the amount of money they had spent on other stuff such as cab fares and other stuff. This makes me realize just how important insurance is. I am not trying to sell my services here but the one thing that I don't want to worry should any of my loved one fall ill is the problem of paying the bills. I had a similar experience with my GrandPa who was hospitalised for near to 2 months before leaving me. We were lucky that we were still staying at a 1 room flat at that time. The bill was eventually settled by the Ministry of Social Affairs. Someone once told me that only 2 type of people will buy insurance. It is either they love their loved ones a lot or they are selfish. They won't want their loved ones to foot the bill for them and as for the selfish one, they are afraid that no one will pay the bill for them or there will be no money left for them should they eventually survive the ordeal. I hope that whoever is reading this just get a simple hospitalisation plan. It cost less than $10 a month( I bet we spent more than that in a night of clubbing) and will at least let you sleep at ease knowing that you are covered. Of course you can give me a buzz should you want to know more. ;P

Now on the topic of my new job. I never actually told this to friends yet but it seems that a lot of them already know about it. I will be starting work on Mon at Tanjong Pagar( Just next to my old office so you can still call me on matters of insurance ;) ). It is a 5 days work week( so you know who to call for partying on a fri night ;) ) and I will be working as a Sales Executive. I will be mainly trying to get new customers for CalendarOne ( www.calendarone.com ). The basic pay is nothing to crow about but the comission is quite attractive. I will treat you once I get my pay Pig Head. I still remember my promise to you. ;) I really hope that I can excel in my new work. Kinda in need of a more consistent paycheck. ;)

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Just took a color quiz which I think is quite true. Not all the of it though.

Your Existing Situation

Willing and adaptable. Only at peace when closely attached to a person,
group, or organization on a which reliance can be placed.

Your Stress Sources

Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are
as high as his own, and to stand out from the herd. His control of his
sensual instincts restricts his ability to give himself, but the
resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow himself to merge
with another. This disturbs him, as such instincts are regarded as
weaknesses to be overcome; he feels that only by continued self-restraint
can he hope to maintain his attitude of individual superiority. Wants to
be loved or admired for himself alone; needs attention, recognition,
and the esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Feels that he is receiving less than his share and that there is no one
on who he can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions
make him quick to take offense, but he realizes that he has to make the
best of things as they are.

Feels trapped in a distressing or
uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve
satisfaction from sexual activity.

Becomes distressed when his needs
or desires are misunderstood and feels that he has no one to turn to or
rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Your Desired Objective

Suffering from the effects of those things which are being rejected as
disagreeable, and is strongly resisting them. Just wants to be left in
peace.

Your Actual Problem

The fear that he might be prevented from achieving the things he wants
drives him to the exploitation of all types of experience, so that he
may categorically deny that any of them has any value. This destructive
denigration becomes his method of concealing hopelessness and a
profound sense of futility.

Your Actual Problem #2

The need for esteem--for the chance to play some outstanding part and
make a name for himself--has become imperative. He reacts by insisting
on being the center of attention, and refuses to play an impersonal or
minor role.

Well, you can guess which part is true and which part is not. Cheers. ;)

Feel free to try it at http://www.ColorQuiz.com/ ;)

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Yes, I am here blogging again. Just watched Serendipity and have the urge to write about it. It was an old show released in 2001. I must have missed it due to National Service. It is a nice and romantic film. Better than Turn Left Turn Right in the way the film is being directed and the chemistry between the two leads. Though they have only less than 20 mins being together in the film, you can sense that just how much the characters played by John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale wanted to find each other. Serendipity means: "The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident". How appropriate a word for this film.

The plot of this film goes like this.

Jonathan Trager and Sara Thomas met while shopping for gloves in New York. Though buying for their respective lovers, the magic was right and a night of Christmas shopping turned into romance. Jon wanted to explore things further but Sara wasn't sure their love was meant to be. They decided to test fate by splitting up and seeing if destiny brought them back together... Many years later, having lost each other that night, both are engaged to be married. Still, neither can shake the need to give fate one last chance to reunite them. Jon enlists the help of his best man to track down the girl he can't forget starting at the store where they met. Sara asks her new age musician fiance for a break before the wedding and, with her best friend in tow, flies from California to New York hoping destiny will bring her soulmate back. Near-misses and classic Shakespearean confusion bring the two close to meeting a number of times but fate will have the final word on whether it was meant to be.

Catch the film to know the ending. Nice soundtrack to the film. The dialouge is witty and the directing is fast and not draggy. One of my favourite dialouge is: "Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. If we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny." Kinda perk me up after the nightmare that I had earlier in the day.

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I was awaken today not by my alarm clock, my handphone going off with my colleagues asking me where the hell I was nor by the noise pollution generated by the upgrading project in my estate. It was by a dream which I will deem as a nightmare. I was supposed to be in office now but was struck down by a bad flu last night. I only manage to sleep at 3+ last night and didn't really slept well.

I dreamt that I was helping out my ex current bf in a 7-11 shop. I am ok with helping her out as I never said no to her need for help. I know this may sounds stupid but that shop was haunted. Close friends of mine should know that I do not like to watch horror films as I think the idea of paying money to scare myself is damn stupid. In the dream she was helping his current bf in a way that she used to help me. And the worst part, I can't see the face of her bf. All I can hear and sense is that he is an Ah Beng. The type that she hated most. It send a cold wind down my spine. What is she doing with someone so unlike me? And the worst part is that all I can do was just ask her what was need to be done in the stall. I can't ask her how she got to know him, how he is like and whether she really like him. I finally woke up in disbelief. Why am I still dreaming of her?? There is a saying in chinese that you will dream whatever you think of in the day. Seems like I think of her more than my new job.

I am in need of urgent help here. I really wish that I have the guts to ask her out and know if she is still attached now and if, with who. How he is like and if he is treating her nicely as I used to treat her. I am going nuts here. To be honest this is not the first time that I dreamt of her. It is time I get someone new in my life or get a chance to know her better. It had been close to 3 years since we broke up. I always believe that time will heal all wounds. Now I think that a dose of time and a new love will heal the wound faster. Being single and having a wild imagination like me is not going to help out at all.

I am still trembling slightly as I am typing this. All my worst fears are coming true. She is back in S'pore. She is damn near me in terms of workplace and residence. She works at Tampines and stay at Kembangan. I stay at Bedok. Smack right in between the 2 places. How coincidental can this get? I even reinstall ICQ recently in a bid to get a chance to speak to her. How dumb am I getting??!!?? I hate ICQ to the core for those who don't know. It keep on sending out spam, not user friendly like MSN and basically always crash my PC. I had noticed her on Friendster since 2003 but just don't have the guts to add her. I am going to do that now. I know this may sounds childish but all I want to see is her relationship status bar. If she is in a relationship, maybe just a glimpse of how her bf looks like. Even if there is no picture of him, maybe just a look at the testimonials given to her. To let me know if she is happy with her bf. Gals always write about each other bf in testimonials. I don't know why I am doing this. It might be just one of the things you do on a raining Mon morning plus the fact that you are sneezing heavily by the minute.

I think I am on the brink of being a psycho soon. A stalker. A man who can do nothing right in his life. A man who keep on living in the past and surviving on his fading memories by the minute. If there really is a God out there like she always said, please help me. I can't imagine myself being in this state when I start my work in the future. I need my concentration back. My focus in life back.

Duan Dian 断点

我吻过你的脸 你双手曾在我的双肩
感觉有那么甜 我那么依恋
每当我闭眼 我总是可以看见
失信的诺言全部都会实现
我吻过你的脸 你已经不在我的身边
虽然你不在我的身边
我还是祝福你过得好一点
短开的情线 我不要做断点
只想在睡前 再听见你的 蜜语甜言

A song that suit my mood now. And on a damn bloody overcast morning somemore. How appropriate.

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Finally managed to catch Hitch today. Though it wasn't in the cinema but at the comfort of my home(downloaded it from the net and it wasn't a DVD version ;( ) There are some dialouges from the show that I loved. One of my favourites is: "Life is not about the number of breath you take, it is about the number of times your breath was taken away" I mean think about it. You might have gone out with quite a number of people of the opposite sex before but how many really manage to take your breath away. In a sense that you wish that the evening didn't end so early and how you hope that the next date will come soon. People who haven't catch the show yet should catch it when it is release in DVD format. Sometimes being yourself might just land you the girl that you have been dreaming of ever since you first lay eyes on her.

Went back to Zee 10 last friday again. Though this time it was with my Sec sch gang. It was fun especially at the end of the night when I have to send a drunken Alson back in a cab. How I wish I was able to send the video clip I got of him vomitting into the plastic bag. The sound effect then was excellent. I think I might just get an Oscar nominee for the sound effect. ;)

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The tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can't replace. When you love some one but it goes to waste, could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

Grace

Kenneth

Joy

Padi

Keith

Blinky Mummy

Kenny

Mr Brown

Zhi Hao

Benson

Stanley Yeo

Jodie

Turtle Power!!

Felicia Chin

Yu Hui

Elvina

Priscilia

JayDen, My GodSon!!

Compilation of my Hits

July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
December 2008
January 2009
April 2009
July 2009
February 2010
April 2010
August 2010

? Applause

Your tagboard here

? Finale

Blog/Site: Sim Seng Yong Christopher
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