Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Stress.. One and a half month in the job and yet not a single sale. Never know that corporate sale is so hard. A lot of red tape to cut through. Not this cannot is that cannot. Called so many times and yet not able to get the right person. Budget need to be approved by directors who are so busy I bet to take a shit. So busy that I had never even seen them in person nor hear from them. Email and his secretaries are all I get. I mean how busy can someone get? The worst part is my director barking at me down my neck. I understand where he is coming from as Sales are all about FIGURES. No sales no com and no business for the company. I really hope to be able to close some cases soon. He is a nice guy. I don't wanna let him and myself down.
Was sick on fri. As predicted in my blog. I was sneezing so hard that I was afraid that I will have nose bleeding again. Slept the whole afternoon away but not before completing Da Vinci Code. Great book, great plot and great ending. I am awaiting the movie version with bated breath. Went down for Cindy birthday. Well, at least I managed to pass her her gift(Five people you meet in heaven), caught half a show(House of fury), had some food and that's all. Went to meet Alson later on for some drinks and went home after that.
Sat was my lucky day. Well, it had started unluckily with the rain pouring down as I was about to go to a mahjong session with my colleagues. I lost $7 to them. It is not the amount that shocked me but the fact that I lost to them. No offence but they were quite newbie in mahjong and never had I thought that I will lose to them. Worse to follow was that I have another session with Poh, Ah Ho and Ah Hee. Was preparing to lose at least $30 and above to them. Considering that I had lost to my colleagues who were definitely kinder than them. Da Da. I won $47 at the end of the day or should I said at the beginning of Sun. We played till 10+ in the morning as they refused to let me go. They just can't believed that I won. Me too. I mean I had lost quite a tidy sum to them before this. In total I lost about near to $300 to them?? I never count but I had never won big. Until now. Haha. Seems that my gambling luck is getting better. ;)
Mon was spent on reading(David Beckham autobiography which I got from the library) and slacking. Today was quite slack too as my director is on MC. Preparing for a tough session with him tomorrow. Need to go through with him my sales report and target. Quite sure that he won't be happy with what he will see.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
10:12 PM
10:12 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
The title is the reason why I haven't been blogging lately. There are other reasons also such as some idiots sending virus to my desktop resulting in me lugging my company lappie home everyday. I don't like to blog on it. Such a small screen and keyboards that seens so alien to me even now. I spent the whole of last Sat screwing myself over my desktop and yet, it still lay there unable to respone to my CPR. Other reasons include getting myself busy over work and my social life. No. Not dating but going out with my colleagues and attending my friends birthday.
First of all got to say sorry to Yupei. Wasn't able to attend the KTV yesterday as I really didn't want to take the risk of getting chickenpox. I am still on probation and I will not receive pay during my MC. You should know how much I need my pay. ;) Anyway, congrats on finally finding The One. I can foresee that you will have a better ride this time round. I wish you Happiness. Such a simple word and yet so hard to find.
Should be attending Cindy's birthday tomorrow. I using should as the weather nowadays is getting a bit cranky. Hot in the morning follow by showers and now hot at night??!! No wonder I am having my usual bouts of flu now. If this carry on, I should be sick when I wake up and render me unfit for work. If the rain comes at night, it will render the BBQ unattendable. Still hope to attend it though. Even though it is at Jurong East( I hate Western part of S'pore ). Haven't seen my colleagues for quite sometime and I think it might also be the only chance to chat with someone in person rather than online.
Da Vinci Code is a great book. I had been hooked on it since the beginning of the week. Should be able to finish it over the long weekend. I would recommend anyone who hadn't read in a long while to choose this as a book to start your reading habit again. Definitely better than Angels and Demons. Got to go sleep soon. Been a good boy lately. Waking up early to go work. Sleeping early so that I wouldn't be so tired the next day. :)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:15 PM
11:15 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Well, a week had past by like a blink of the eye. For all those friends who had been asking if I had a new gf, the answer is no. I don't know how these rumours started but no. I am more interested in my work now than to get involve with a new girl. I had enough shit from the last one I had. To round things up, I am an idiot at handling ladies. Used to and still is one.
Things are looking up at work. Getting busier and busier which is what I like. Hope to be able to close some sales though. My boss won't want me around if I can't sell anything after 2 months. LGM will have it first meeting on Wed. A lot of things have to be tie down. We been resting for near to 2 months. Hope to get things running. As for the pushcart, I think it will have to be KIV for the time being. Only Guowei and me seems interested in getting it started which is kinda sad as we are the 2 with less capital. Well, quite sure that things will get sort out soon.
Today is Mother Day. Feel kinda bad that I didn't have a gift for my beloved mum. Wanted to give her a handbag but couldn't get anyone to go choose it with me. Wanted to give her a hong bao but the amount that I can afford to pack for her is pathetic. Here is a lady who had went through 25 years of shit for me and yet I can't get her a small gift. I am beginning to look down on myself. I think I should be packing some of her favourite vegetarian food later. She is on a vegetarian meal till the middle of the month.
My Mum is a superwoman in my eyes. Bringing up a hyper active, stubborn and moody kid single handely and also having to take care of her father who is even more stubborn than her child. Throw in a husband whose hobby is gambling the day away and giving loansharks a chance to trouble the family. She had never had an easy day ever since I was born( See how suay I am ;) ). How I wish I can have the ability to let her rest and do the stuff that she had been dreaming of. Such as doing volunteer work, visiting the temples more frequently, going KTV to sing the day away, travelling etc. She had stopped all these dreams because of me. I think it would be selfish of me if she had to continue doing so for more years to come. She deserve better in life. With the amount of hardwork she had put in life, she definitely deserves more. Am quite sure she will never see this( my mum only understand A-F and some basic greeting that I had taught her ), Mum I Love You. If there was really a god up above, I would like to thank him for giving me the best gift since I was born. That gift is having you as my mum. You are the best thing that had happened to me for the past 25 years. Seeing you sleep for less than 8 hrs everyday, cooking food for a son who is so damn picky, ironing my clothes without complaining, giving me the best you can afford ever since I was young and giving me the trust that I will do what I deem right in life. Mum, I love you, I really do.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:39 PM
1:39 PM
Monday, May 02, 2005
My holidays suck. Big time. It is gone just like a blink of the eye. I spent it in my home for 2 consecutive days from Sun to Mon. I am amazed that I still have my sanity intact. Seems that everyone already have their own programs except me. To be honest I had already planned out how my long weekend will goes but someone screwed me up. To be honest I can see it coming. The way she agreed to the appointment and the way she said she will call me back.
Fri night was spent on supper with Hongsheng again. I had been meeting him for supper every Friday night for don't know how many weeks. I don't really like to go clubbing or out till late on Fri since I got a soccer game every Sat morning. Sat morning was spent on the soccer game and I spent the whole afternoon sleeping after the game. Part of the reason being that I do not have internet or cable tv since my last post. Only managed to resume it on Sat when my pay finally bank in. Kinda piss me off when it is stated that I have the money in my account but on hold due to some stupid banking rules. Went to a ktv pub in East Coast in the night. Quite a nice place but the beer is damn x. $26 for a jug!!
The worst feeling anyone can have is to cling on to false hope. You know very clearly that it will never happen but in your heart you just refuse to give up. Like how a child will cling on to his parents or a leech to a human being. Leech. I think this describle me quite well. Called her on last Wed. Using a very stupid and lame excuse to get her out on Mon. She agreed to it which kinda surprise me as I had expected a firm rebuttal on the spot. Well guess she think that doing this will kill me off faster. Called her on Fri night and she didn't pick up. Assume that she was busy so I am fine with that. Called her on Sat night. She hanged up on me follow by a sms that said that she will call after her roadshow which she had told me about previously. Accepted that as I had worked in roadshow before and understand that it is inconvient to talk during it. Guess what. I had waited for that call till now. A call that I know will never come. I didn't even make any backup plans as I was so sure that she wouldn't lie to me. I mean she did said in her sms that she will call back.
I guess things are very clear now. I was an idiot. Waiting for something which will never happen. I hate liars. Especially from someone whom I trust and should I say like. The wait was a mental toture for me. Calling my handphone from my home phone to make sure that it was ok. Checking for sms now and then. Staying at home just in case she call. Why did she lied? She should know that I hate people lying to me. If she didn't want to meet up I am fine with a no. I had expected it and received it a lot of times. But what is the sms for? If she just keep hanging up on me, I can still accept it. Well, I think it is also better for me this way. It is just so obvious. I am the one who is not moving on. I should like what my friends said, get a life. Concentrate on other stuff. Like my new job, LGM and other stuffs. Anything except her. Hate to admit it but I am hurt. I am sure I will get over it though. I am too strong to go down. ;)
This is the Last Time
This is the last time
That I will say these words
I remember the first time
The first of many lies
Sweep it into the corner
Or hide it under the bed
Say these things, they go away
But they never do
Something I wasn't sure of
But I was in the middle of
Something I forget now
But I've seen too little of
The last time
You fall on me, for anything you like
Your one last line
You fall on me, for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me, for anything you like
And I, no I don't mind
This is the last time
That I will show my face
One last tender lie
And then I'm out of this place
So tread it into the carpet
Or hide it under the stairs
You say that some things never die
Well I tried, and I tried
Something I wasn't sure of
But I was in the middle of
Something I forget now
But I've seen too little of
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:51 PM
11:51 PM
