Monday, November 21, 2005
Been close to 2 weeks since I last updated my blog. Time had been going too fast for my liking. We are reaching to the end of Nov soon and I am still miles away from my target. It's kinda sad when your work is only judged by your results and not the effort. Well, guess that's the life of a sales exec. No one cares how hard you work or just how unlucky you are. They just want to know how much u had managed to sell for this month or this term.
Currently reading The Chronicles of Narnia. First read a part of the series when I was 14. It was the literature book for me that year. My book was The lion, the witch and the wardrobe. Only found out that it is part 2 of the series when I started reading it. I had finally found out the reason for the lamp post at the beginning of the woods. It is a nice and entertaining book thus far. The strange thing was I used to hate this book when I was 14. I wasn't that interested in English Literature then and the thought of me memorizing the book kinda turn me off. Ironic how life changes people.
Some of my friends pointed out that most of the posts in my blog are about the sad events happening in my life. Well, it is hard to put on a happy front when life just don't turn out the way you want it to be right? I will try to write some happy stuff come next post.
Anyway, one of my most loyal friend Alson will be celebrating his birthday on this Fri. Why I used the word loyal is that he had been nice to me even though there were times that I wasn't so nice to him. For sticking with me through thick and thin. Darn. If only u are a gal. I will be giving serious thoughts of marrying you. :P I will make sure that we will be having fun on Friday night.
当你说今天的烦恼
当你说夜深你睡不着
我想对你说
却害怕都说错
还喜欢你
知不知道
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:01 PM
11:01 PM
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
What are the street names/slang terms for it?
It is also known as marijuana, pot, grass, joints or ganja.
What are its effects?
Cannabis affects one’s concentration and memory, hence it weakens the abuser’s ability to learn. Cannabis abusers are likely to move on to stronger and deadlier drugs.
What are the penalties?
A Class A Drug
Trafficking in more than 500 gm of cannabis – Death
Possession or consumption of cannabis – up to $20,000 fine or 10 years imprisonment or both
Above info taken from http://www.cnb.gov.sg/ENFORCEMENT/index.asp?page=436.
I hardly tell my friends about my family life. I also hardly tell them the real reason why I hate drug abuser so much. See my Uncle used to be a promising young lad. Smart, articulate with a bright future in front of him. He was popular among the ladies and definitely destined for great things in life.
Whenever we talked about my uncle, my mum will always have tears in her eyes as she began to regret what had happened to him. If only he had not done what he had done. Things could be so different for him and my family. See. Regret is caused by a series of what if. What if I had not done this and what if I had done that.
What if my Uncle had not taken Cannabis when he was young. He had the impression that it was something cool and felt being left out if he was not part of the gang. He also thought that one can't get hook on something that is so similar to cigarette. He was on it for only less than 2 years before progessing to something bigger and deadlier. He started taking heroin and this was when things go all wrong. From being a responsible man to someone who will even steal from my grandfather just to satisfy his crave for drugs. All in less than 3 years.
I had seen how my Mum cried for him. How my Aunt cried for him. How my beloved Grandpa sliently dropping a tear for him. A son he loved so much. To the extent that he was never angry with him once for losing all the money he had saved for his own retirement. Even when he is on the brink of death, he was asking for him to come to his bedside. All this for a son who had forsaken him for over 20 odd years. All because of drugs.
You might think that it is your life and what you are doing now will not affect the others. You think that you will be responsible for your own actions just because you are a fucking adult. You might think that by smoking Cannabis, you will feel happy, proud to have done one over your friends and have a great time because it can give you the high which you never had.
Stop being selfish. Think of those who care for you. Think of those who love you. What you are doing is hurting them if they knew it. You really think that the world only revolve around you and what you had done will only cause hurt and harm to urself? Think again. Being stab on the left hand is as painful as being stab on the right hand. There is simply no difference between hurting yourself and someone who care for you.
The best way to prevent all this from happening is not to even start on the smallest quantity of drugs. Trust me when I said that it is deadly. I had seen it first hand and till now I am shivering whenever the image of my uncle taking heroin in front of me appear. It seems so unreal.
I hate drug addicts. I really do. For my Mum deserve to have a better brother to take care of her when my Dad was walking out of her and me being too young to fend for her. For my Aunt who had wasted her youth in waiting for someone who is never going to change and being lonely when she is nearing her retirement years. Just the time when she and my Uncle should be deservingly enjoying their blissful retirement years. And for my beloved Grandpa who I love so much. He definitely deserve to have a better son. A son who will give him money instead of stealing it from him, a son who will be back home for the Chinese New Year instead of being stuck in the Drug Rehab Centre, a son who will be around when he is getting old and long for companionship from his only son and a son who will just fulfil the simple duty of being a son.
But if you were to ask me if I will forgive my Uncle should he seek for it, the answer will be a definite Yes. For he is my Uncle and I do love him as my Grandpa would. Loving someone include the capability to forgive what he or she had done. Not condoning him or her if they had done wrong. Making them realize their mistakes before it is too late and providing them support if they do fall. Loving somebody just make u feel more for them. Wanting them to have the best in life. I really hope that my story will not strike on others. Cause to be honest, though I had kind of forgive my Uncle, he is still in his dream world of drugs. If only he will come to his senses. God, if there is one. Please forgive him for he do not know what he is doing.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:57 AM
2:57 AM
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Another sleepless night. Did I slept too much in the day or am I afraid of having the same dream I had last night? Maybe I should give u guys some updates on my life. Work had been busy but rewarding. I am on 23 cards now(if everything get through) with 10 more to go before I hit the top tier. Really hope that I am able to hit it. Though the holiday and my personal life seems to be putting a stop to me achieving the goal.
Watched the derby match on Sat. Disappointed that Spurs drew. We should have killed off those scums before half time. But like me, Spurs is a work in progress. I am sure we will get better as the season pass by.
Missing someone is a strange feeling to have. The thought of seeing her soon might perk you up and keep you going. It could also lead you doing things that you had never done before nor think you will ever do. But the very thought that she is not beside you could also make u down. Down to a point where you can't even get the simplest thing done and time seems to be dragging its feet around. Not going fast enough as if it is stopping you from seeing her soon and forcing you to spend more time thinking of her.
On your mind you will be wandering. Just what is she doing now? Is she ok? Happy with what she is having now? Or can things be better? Your mind will just wander without you knowing it. Yes. It is stupid but it is something that your mind have no control over of. We can't tell our mind to stop thinking of something. Stop missing that someone. Stop doing this or stop doing that. People have emotions. This is one of the key factor that seperate us from animals. We will miss someone when they are not around. We will always want the best for that someone we like. But we might not be the one who is providing it.
This is the cold hard truth. You might have thought that you are the one who can do it. Bringing happiness to that someone you cared about. But life is cruel. You won't have your way. The one who you want to care about might not be the one who you will end up with. She or he might choose that someone who you think will not do as good a job as you. But who are you to judge for her or him? How can you be sure of what she wants?
Letting go is the correct choice. But there is a catch. Saying is definitely simpler than doing it. Way more simple. Whenever you thought you had turned a corner or dug yourself out of that hole you had created, you might had just fell into another one without you realizing it. Time is the best medication for you. Time is a remarkable tool. It can heal all kind of wounds. Be it heartache from missing someone or a failed relationship. Time is what I need now.
爱一个人可以不知道为什么
我们原来不是代表你我两个
忘不忘掉早已经不是属于我说
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:05 AM
2:05 AM
