Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Insomia again. Two days in a row. Is it just me or is it the feeling you get after going through a lousy year and realizing that next year don't seems to be going any better by how things are looking. I am feeling stress. I hate to admit it but I am feeling it. Almost no income for near to 6 months thanks to Prudential who is crawling back my allowance(Next month is the last months finally!!)and my personal life in crumbles. Actually wanted to talk about how I spent my Christmas weekend but now feeling more about complaining and whining which I think I am quite good at. A master toolsmen never blame his tools but himself. Forgot who told me that but it is kinda true. If you never work hard at the first place, how can you expect to see the rewards? Been asking myself this question whether I had been working very hard. Well, I got to be true to myself. I can work harder that what I am doing now. I had done it before. Anyway, had a good discussion with Alson today regarding how we plan to go in our work life. I am seriously thinking of being a part-time adviser and looking for a full time job. I don't expect fantastic salary. But the job must be flexible and not too desk bound. No. I am not thinking of jumping over to be Another Insurance Agent(AIA) :P
Well, back to my Christmas weekend. To be true, I won't say that is suck except for one bad incident. It all started on Thurs. Bear with me on this as it is quite long. Got a summon on that very day. Was crossing the road to Capitol Building from City Hall Mrt Station. S'poreans should know which junction I am talking about. As I was crossing, I noticed people stopping behind the pillar for quite sometime. (Capitol Building got a lot of big pillars) Not taking much notice of it, I ran across the road(A lot of people do that and still is doing this even as I am typing) to catch a cab(I was late). Suddenly a nice petite lady wearing a blue uniform walked over to me with a smile and said " Sir, I notice that you had jaywalked across the street. Can I have your IC please?" Talk about bad luck. I was late for my appointment, wasted money on cab and kena a summon to top it up. Anyway, just be careful when you are crossing that junction again. After the appointment was my agency Christmas party(Lousy party with lousy food and literally no booze even when it is just $18 per jug) at a pub called Detention Class at ValleyPoint. I wouldn't called the place Ulu but then again, it is not that easy to find too. Received a very nice present from Xiwei(Feeling bad as my gift to another colleague of mine sucks BIG TIME!) and caught a great movie in Kung Fu Hustle.
Christmas eve was spent with my friends coming over for cards game, XBox, food and drinks. Things started out great but went downhill the moment James start to drink excessively. Turns out he is having a cold war with his gf and feeling moody. He ended up being damn drunk and the whole thing got to end at 2+. Anyway, have fun talking cock with Alson and Vincent. We called ourself the Wo Men Gang. Wo Men in chinese means We cause we are such poor souls with nothing happening going on in our life. This is part and parcel of singlehood.
Lastly, wanted to give my condolences to those victims of the earthquake that hit Aceh Indonesia. As we are celebrating away the New Year, maybe we can spare a thoughts for them. I always believe that S'poreans are lucky to be born in such a great place. We hardly had any natural disaters ever and our goverment is not corrupt like our neighbours. Even as I was complaining about my lousy year, the moment I read the news my heart sunk. Those victims who died are all like us. Rushing in Christmas and waiting for the arrival the new year. What had they done to deserve this? My heart lies with them and I really hpe that things will take a turn for better over there. Will try to go sleep now. Peace to the world. :)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
3:14 AM
3:14 AM
Insomia again. Two days in a row. Is it just me or is it the feeling you get after going through a lousy year and realizing that next year don't seems to be going any better by how things are looking. I am feeling stress. I hate to admit it but I am feeling it. Almost no income for near to 6 months thanks to Prudential who is crawling back my allowance(Next month is the last months finally!!)and my personal life in crumbles. Actually wanted to talk about how I spent my Christmas weekend but now feeling more about complaining and whining which I think I am quite good at. A master toolsmen never blame his tools but himself. Forgot who told me that but it is kinda true. If you never work hard at the first place, how can you expect to see the rewards? Been asking myself this question whether I had been working very hard. Well, I got to be true to myself. I can work harder that what I am doing now. I had done it before. Anyway, had a good discussion with Alson today regarding how we plan to go in our work life. I am seriously thinking of being a part-time adviser and looking for a full time job. I don't expect fantasty salary. But the job must be flexible and not too desk bound. No. I am not thinking of jumping over to be Another Insurance Agent(AIA) :P
Well, back to my Christmas weekend. To be true, I won't say that is suck except for one bad incident. It all started on Thurs. Bear with me on this as it is quite long. Got a summon on that very day. Was crossing the road to Capitol Building from City Hall Mrt Station. S'poreans should know which junction I am talking about. As I was crossing, I noticed people stopping behind the pillar for quite sometime. (Capitol Building got a lot of big pillars) Not taking much notice of it, I ran across the road(A lot of people do that and still is doing this even as I am typing) to catch a cab(I was late). Suddenly a nice petite lady wearing a blue uniform walked over to me with a smile and said " Sir, I notice that you had jaywalked across the street. Can I have your IC please?" Talk about bad luck. I was late for my appointment, wasted money on cab and kena a summon to top it up. Anyway, just be careful when you are crossing that junction again. After the appointment was my agency Christmas party(Lousy party with lousy food and literally no booze even when it is just $18 per jug) at a pub called Detention Class at ValleyPoint. I wouldn't called the place Ulu but then again, it is not that easy to find too. Received a very nice present from Xiwei(Feeling bad as my gift to another colleague of mine sucks BIG TIME!) and caught a great movie in Kung Fu Hustle.
Christmas eve was spent with my friends coming over for cards game, XBox, food and drinks. Things started out great but went downhill the moment James start to drink excessively. Turns out he is having a cold war with his gf and feeling moody. He ended up being damn drunk and the whole thing got to end at 2+. Anyway, have fun talking cock with Alson and Vincent. We called ourself the Wo Men Gang. Wo Men in chinese means We cause we are such poor souls with nothing happening going on in our life. This is part and parcel of singlehood.
Lastly, wanted to give my condolences to those victims of the earthquake that hit Aceh Indonesia. As we are celebrating away the New Year, maybe we can spare a thoughts for them. I always believe that S'poreans are lucky to be born in such a great place. We hardly had any natural disaters ever and our goverment is not corrupt like our neighbours. Even as I was complaining about my losuy year, the moment I read the news my heart sunk. Those victims who died are all like us. Rushing in Christmas and waiting for the arrival the new year. What had they done to deserve this? My heart lies with them and I really hpe that things will take a turn for better over there. Will try to go sleep now. Peace to the world. :)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
3:14 AM
3:14 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Well, been quite sometime since I last posted. Quite a lot of things happened so this will be quite a long post. First and foremost I want to talk about is my PC. It had been kinda cranky ever since the beginning of the year but due to a lack of funds, I had allowed it to degenerate by itself. There was something wrong with the hard disk and the easiest option is to reformat it. Talk about easy. There are just too much valuable stuff in my PC that I treasure. My MP3, movies and pictures. Not to talk about the time that I will spend if I was to bring my PC down to Sim Lim. Well, it finally die on me on Thurs night. I was still trying to salavge my stuff from my hard disk. The best option is to go down to Sim Lim, borrow a hard disk from them and transfer the stuff that I wanted. But I got no $$. In the end, I got no choice but to delete every single stuff away from my hard disk. The only regrets that i had was forgetting to save the only 2 pictures that I had with my ex in soft copy. In no way am I still in love with her but those are memories that I treasured.
It is kinda amazing how you can just delete everything away from a PC. Irregardless whether it is bad or good for the PC. Don't you hope that the human mind can also have this function? There were times when I felt like deleting all the memories that I had with her. It was just so painful to think about it. Just like how a virus attack a PC. It makes you feel down and unable to concentrate on your tasks ahead. How great it will be if I could just insert a boot disk into my brain and reinstall my life that is without her. But I had learnt a lot from those memories. It was painful at the beginning no doubt. But it is kinda amazing how you could associate something great that had happened in your life to something that had also given you pain and hurt at the same time. Love is such an amazing and strange stuff.
Well, moving on to something positive. Recently met up with two potential big clients. It would be great if they will get the recommendations that I had prepare for them. Sales had been really bad so far. I really hope that things will turn for the better.
Anyway, I finally met up with Lizhen on Wed. I wouldn't call it a date. But to be honest, it feel kinda great to be able to sit beside her and chat with her again. For a moment I felt like time had stopped for us. We were there chatting like we were never apart for such a long time. She is single now. Just broke up with her bf a few weeks ago. Well, I was glad for her after hearing the things that her BF had done. If her ex was a friend of mine, I am quite sure he woudn't be my friend anymore. She still looks great. Maybe a bit more mature looking but great nonetheless. But don't really feel that anything can develop between us. Maybe fate just work in a strange way for us. When I was chasing her, she was in an unhappy relationship. When she finally decided to break it up, I was just starting on my relationship with my ex. When I broke up with her, she was attached again. Now that she is single, I still feel that there is a gap between us. I don't know how to describle it but just feel that we are better off as friends. I just felt that if we were together, we won't really last. Anyway, after my last failure on my crush, the last thing I want now is to embark on another fail journey. I am sure she feel this way too. She seems tired of relationship now. Who don't? Fate. How you work?? How I wish I can know the answer.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:56 AM
1:56 AM
Monday, December 06, 2004
Hi. Kinda full of energy now. Just woke up from a nap. Ya. U heard me right. I took a nap from 10.30 p.m till 12 midnight. How I am going to sleep later, I not sure but I sure got to sleep. No thanks to me missing my "Re-training" on sat. I got to be in the office by 8 in the morning for Mon and Tue. Sianzz.. It is how ironic that I am always early for the meeting on weekdays but late on the one that counts. See, my agency allows u to miss three weekday meetings in a month. But weekend RT cannot be miss or u will have to makeup for it on weekday by coming in early. So damn to my body clock that dedicate me to always sleep late on fri night and wake up late on Sat morning. Anyway, I won't have to go to RT for this coming 2 weeks cause I got cases coming in. Haha. Part of the reason that I had been sleeping late is also due to the fact that I had just downloaded emulators from the net. There are a program that allows u to play arcade games from the 80s and 90s. Talk about a blast from the past. I am having fun playing Sonic from my Sega Emulator and Contra from my Nintendo Emulator. Really make me relieve the days when I was young. Damn young. I was quite poor back then and the only time that I got a chance to play on the console when I was at my friends' home or had saved enough for the half an hour of gameplay in provision shops. Those were the days. :) I am sure u guys had memories of playing 30 mins of arcade for $1. Simply amazes me how much fun I could derieved from that $1 which seems so small an amount now. Also kinda sad when u realize that the fun of chilhood will never be with you again now that you stepped into the working life.
Met up with some of my sec school friends on fri night. Felt great that I finally met them up after quite sometime but was kinda sucky as they all left the moment I arrive. All the way from Tampines to Paradiz Centre when I am staying at Bedok. :( The only good thing that came out of it was that I got a free supper from Guowei. It was Mee Goreng from Golden Mile Centre. Tasted GREAT!! The one and only best Mee Goreng in S'pore and I dare say in the world. I been to Malaysia quite often but no one can match their high standards. They are my benchmark for Mee Goreng. Haha. Anyway, he is leaving soon for Taipei to have a 6 months work attachment. Wishes him the best. If you are reading this, remember the Dos and Don'ts that I told u. U are really a close friend of mine and no way do I want to see u sad and unhappy.
Spent my sat at JB. :) It was a great trip. In total spent just $110 ringitt on food and movies. Dinner was great. We had 2 black pepper crabs, 4 clayfishes, 1 BBQ StingRay, 1 plate or kang kong and 2 plates of Penang Char Keow Tiao. Thanks a lot to Janice, the driver for the night and to Kenn. Though U and Janice had already watched The Incredibles, u still don't mind watching it one more time with me. Thanks for that white lie cause I would had really not make you guys watch it one more time If I had knew that u guys had already watched the show. And to Janice, U are a great driver. Not showing ur temper even when I guided you the wrong way. Rest assured that I won't go missing the next time we go there.
Anyway, the most amazing thing just happened to me on sat. If you had been reading all the way till here, Congrats. ;) If you guys had been following my blog, you would have know that I used to have a crush on a gal when I was in Poly. She was the girl I talked about in a previous post. Turn Left turn Right. Well, what happend was that I bumped into her sometime back when I was having coffee with my friends. We exchanged hello and that's about it. Last night before I went into JB with Kenn and Janice I actually messaged her to ask her about the pubs in JB as I wanted to watch EPL. She never replied me which I think is norm cause that was a S'pore No and she was in JB. And to my surprise, I actually bumped into her again in JB. We were having dinner at Jalan Kris and had actually sat down. But I was bored sitting down so I stood up and went around looking for food that I might want to eat. As I was walking, I felt that as if someone was looking at me. I brushed it off at first and concentrate looking on the most important thing, food. As I was about to return to my seat, I just glanced down on the table beside me and there I saw her. She was looking up at me at the same time I was looking down at her table. Talk about coincidence. We had a small chat as she was with her friend(Bf maybe??) and I went back to my seat. I am not pinning my hopes on anything but just amazed that I had saw her just at the moment I was thinking of her. And of all places, JB. JB is actually quite big and somemore it is at Malaysia which is even bigger. She still looked the same. Maybe a bit more mature looking but still pretty and sweet. Anyway, I am still trying to get past my crush. No way am I going to start another one so fast. Anyway, think that the guy who was having dinner with her should be her bf. Nice guy, mature looking and well spoken. The guy that he had always look for. She got a bad family background and that's why she tends to look for mature looking guys. Maybe to replace something that she never got to enjoy while she was young. That rules me out of the running. ;) It just strike me that how amazing this thing call fate does it work. Simply amazing. ;)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:30 AM
1:30 AM
Friday, December 03, 2004
Well, today I am in the mood to blog. First of all, I finaly went to Adam Rd Hawker Centre on Wed night. Make that Thurs morning. Thanks to Kenneth and Janice. The food was ok( Golden Mile Hawker Center got the best Mee Goreng and Soup Tulang) and the Teh Tarik was out of the world. It was great to have a car. We were thinking of which place to go for supper cause S'pore is really small. We only took 20 mins to travel from Paya Lebar to Dover. And 10 mins to get to Adam Rd from Dover. I really feel like getting a car. I love GREAT food and don't mind the travelling. Just the cab fare.
Anyway, Taulfik finally won!!! I voted once for him. At one point of the S'pore Idol, I was so afraid that he might lose to that Ah Beng. To be fair, Slyvester really is a worse singer as compared to Taulfik. His version of "I Dream" was way better than him. Let's just said that for once S'pore voted correctly and sensibly.
Just had a drink at Tampines with Gary with him treating me again. He really is a great guy. I had seen colleagues of mine who is earning big bucks and yet treat every single cent as if that was their last cent. To summarize, they are MISERS!! I am not saying this just because he treated me to drinks or what. He really is a great drinking buddy and a great listener of my problems. Close friends of mine should know that I have a lot of issues that are bothering me. He is one of the few that actually listen and show his concerns rather than the quite fake "I Understand". I mean how could u understand shit that had never fallen on you?? I for once never said that if I never been through his or her problems. I would just listen and said what I will do if I was he or her. It is hard to understand someone. I think that GOD had purposely create everyone differently so that we can learn or benefit from each other. It is just like a couple who have different personalities and yet still together. They are learning from each other every single day. Just like what I am learning from my friends and colleagues.
Anyway, how great it was if there really is a Santa. To be honest, he would be a bankrupt 100 times over by now. People get greedy as they grow up. It was just like me. All I wanted for Christmas was a simple meal with my parents with Turkey and all the great Christmas food on Christmas Eve. I would then get to bed with my fav toy or gift beside me when I wake up on Christmas Day. Sad to say. I never had this dream fulfil and I don't really see it ever happening to me. Now what I want for Christmas is $$. It may sound realistic but let's face it. The World is being run by it now. Define Christmas Spirit to me. A gift or a great meal. Let's see what you need to fulfil it?? $$?? You guys should know what I am getting at. I am beginning to look forward to the past where Christmas Eve for me was getting a sweet from my neighbours who were Christians and roaming around at the playground with my friends, waiting for the countdown. We didn't expect a gift from each other at that time. All we wanted was the companionship for the countdown. The same cannot be say for now. To all my friends who already had that special someone or friends for Christmas eve, great for you. Treasure him or her or them. $$ might get you great gifts and a great meal. But it sure can't get them. I think I rather choose them or that special her if I can rather than asking for $$ here. Companionship is GREAT!! Love is GREAT!! Treasure that special someone now. :)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:16 AM
2:16 AM
