Friday, November 26, 2004
Well I been thinking bout the future
But I'm too young to pretend
It's such a waste to always look behind you
Should be lookin' straight ahead
Yeah, I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah, it's hard
If you had've only seen
Well, today offically mark the end of my Crush on her. Though I am feeling a bit lost now, I got to move on like what Pig Head keep on telling me. Well, let's just say that I wasn't really in with a shout at all in the beginnning. You know how you will always like to create an illusion to take you away from all the troubles you are facing in your daily life. Then without you realizing it, you will really take the illusion as the real deal. Well, illusions never last. They are not meant to be lasting. It does perk you up for a short while, like taking a drug. It also had bad effects like a drug cause the more you take it, the harder you will find it to quit. It is just like not wanting to know the truth that you are just a sucker and addict when all those around you already knew it.
Well, first of all I got to say my thanks to my friends who were by my side when I was living in that illusion. First of all is to the two unsung heroes in Jones and Guang. Thanks for spending up to 3 hours with me inside Far East. Trust me when I said that the last time I spent so much time there was when I was forced to shop with my ex. For encouraging me and giving me positive strength even though you guys knew that I am going to fail. For helping me keep the dream alive. For letting me follow my heart. Cheers to you guys.
Next of course is my Beloved Pig Head. Got to agreed with you on the fact that you are more experienced than me in matters of the heart. Your advice is always based on both side of the stories. You might be direct at times but I know that you did that based on your good intentions. You never wanted to help me live in illusion but in the end gave in to me cause you know that the best way is for me to climb back by myself instead of you helping me through every steps. Really appreciated each and single word of your advice. :)
Also to Alson. For finally waking me up by just stating the bare truth to me. Nothing but the cold hard truth. It just strike me like a bolt of lighting. You are simply superb in that. Letting people wake up from their illusion. Chatting with you had always been a joy as you always speak your heart. Happy Birthday to you!! Hope that next year you will have someone you loved by your side. Just try to cut down on the QC. :)
Last but not least, my bro Kenn. You really are great. You like been through so much shit this few weeks but yet can find the heart and time to spend time talking and encouraging an idiot like me. Words can't describle how I appreciated it. Bros forever!! I will get over this soon. I will be waiting for your return. ;)
And to the rest of my colleagues or friends who had given me encouragement or words on the Tag Board. I thank you all. I will get over this soon. It is just a bloody Crush. :)
Anyway, had a great dinner and beer with Jones, Guang, Jimmy and my idol Gary at Eunos just now. Thanks to Gary for the beer. I really need it at that moment. Talking about Gary. It always amaze me how he can always maintain his focus and energy. I had hardly seen him being down. The going for him was also tough at first. You gave me inspiration. I will strive my best in the business so the next time I can drink like mad without any worries. :) And no thanks to the ghost stories you guys talked about during the drinking. Close friends of mine should know that I hated ghost stories and horror films. I wasn't joking when I said I was a bit frightened by those stories. Esp the missed calls from the same room by Guang and the discman stopping by Jones. Damn.
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
You tried so hard to be someone
That you forgot who you are
You tried to fill some emptiness
‘Til all you had spilled over
Now everything’s so far away
That you don’t know where you are, you are
Nitezz to all my friends who managed to read till here. All the best. :)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:25 AM
1:25 AM
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Had a really ousy week last week. The worst thing that can ever happen to Tottenham Hotspurs had finally happened. We lost to the French team in EPL which go by the name of Arse-nal or known fondly as the Gooners. It was a freak match. Henry should have never score the equalizer just before half time and the ref was too lenient towards them. Spurs played them off the park in the first half and to lose due to mistakes from Spurs and the stupid referee who might be a Arse-nal fan in disguise really hurts. We could have draw. But to lose is unacceptable.
Anyway, I was working at the roadshow at SengKang for the past few days. Found out that there are quite a number of S'poreans with hearing disability out there. I mean even if I am in a very foul mood and some kid come over to me to sell me some tickets for charity or whatever shit, I would have at least politely say no. Not just pretend not to hear them, look blankly in front and walk as if nobody is talking to you. It is plain rude. I mean you might have felt piss cause you were fucked at work or by ur bf or ur gf or ur wife. What I am trying to express is that no matter what kind of shit had happened to you, it is is basic courtesy to just say no and walk off. God bless their poor souls. They may be rich in materially but poor spiritually.
Talking about the charity tickets, I had been wondering just how much do those kids earn from selling a ticket? The ticket is not cheap to begin with. I had seen prices from $2 to even $5. I mean I am a firm believer in doing charity but I just kinda wonder how much actually goes to the charity organisation? I mean the poor kid will definitely not work for free cause kids nowadays drink at Coffee Bean like it was just a visit to the coffeeshop. The company can't possibly be doing this for free cause they have bills to pay and not to mention $$ to made. I mean if I was to doanate, I would like it to be to the organisation itself. Not maybe just 30% of my contribution. Correct me if I am wrong but doesn't it make your day when you know that you had make a difference in somebody life? I always like the enjoyment I get from helping people rather than being helped by people. In chinese saying, it is: Shi Bi Shou Gen You Fu. Not sure my hanyu pinyin is right though. Too bad she is not online or she can check for me. But then again, she is hardly online nowadays. :(
I maybe meeting a prospect of mine tomorrow. I am using the word might cause she had been giving me airplanes for two weeks now. Airplane in Christopher Sim Languague means not turning up for an appointment even after agreeing to it. It is kinda sad and demoralising when people think that your time is worthless and their time is precious. I mean the least she could have done is to answer my phone nicely and reject me if she had no interest in meeting up at all. I mean don't always light up my day with hope only to diminish it with rain soon. Kinda like how I am feeling towards her. Damn, even at this late hour I am still thinking about her. I think I will need ICU help soon.
2004 just hadn't been a good year for me. Soon, it will be 1 full year since I came out from army. Do in have any accomplishment that I can be proud of? To be honest, no. It could have been a yes but something terrible screwed me up. It feel helpless when you have done your best but things just don't turn out to be what you want due to external circumstances. Anyway, anyone wanna rent a room in Bedok? It is opp the famous Blk 85 hawker centre. Utility room goes at $200 and my room which is one of the main room will goes for $350 a month. Need the $ as I hadn't been able to pay rent to my mum. Yes, don't be surprised. I need to pay rent too cause it is unfair to ask her pay for the flat herself. So if you or any of your friends are interested, do let me know. Let me save on the agent fees. My mum is a GREAT lady to live with. I am ok. No bad habits just like to work till late in the night. ;)
Well, got to go sleep. It is near to 3 a.m in the morning already. Times just fly so fast at night for me.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:51 AM
2:51 AM
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Wow. Been a while since I blogged. Been lazy and also busy this few weeks. First let me update u guys and gals what I am busy on. First of all is my obession with The OC now. I know it sound kinda stupid that a 24 year old guy would be so obessed with the show but it just have something that make you get hook on it. Been downloading the whole season and watching it once it is in my hard drive. Just finish episode 22 and starting on 23 soon. :) Quite an acheivement considering that I only started watching it like 3 weeks ago and I am almost through the whole season. This just show u how free I am at the weekends and at night. Kinda no life.
Anyway, some of the recent issues caught my attention. First of course is the terrible fate that had fallen on Wang Na. I really hope that her soul can really rest in peace and the murderer be sentenced to what he deserve which is the death sentence. I mean who in the right frame of mind would do such a terrible to a cute and nice 9 year old kid?? Both sides of the S'porean faces surfaced in this incident. The kind volunteers who took time off their daily routine to paste all those posters looking for her. Even though they can't find her in the manner that all of us hope to, they had showed to us that there is still a thing called kindness in S'pore. And to those ppl who striked 4D buying numbers relating to her death, I take my hat off to you. Who would think of numbers relating to her death when such a tragic thing just happened like this?
Next is the re-election of a certain dictator named George Bush. I mean he lied to the world about Iraq, caused even more chaos in middle east and the world, running a country which would have been bankrupt 10 times over if not for the fact that it is the United States of America and he still got elected. God isn't fair. He never was. Next just hope and pray that he won't be the one who start World War III.
A friend of mine once commented to me that I will need to find my future life partner from my friends. He said that i am not the type to just start a relationship with someone I just knew. I think I got to agree with him on that. Part of the reason for my latest failure in getting her could be this. I just don't know why I always stuttered or do something stupid when I am with her or talking to her. I should have the mentality of starting from friends first rather than just chase her straight away. Anyway. people grow up from mistakes. Kinda think of it, how can I stand a chance against a guy who pick her to and fro from school in his own car and is always there for her. I for one got to admit that I am as poor as a beggar now. Think of it, they might even earn more than me considering that it is the festive season now and ppl tend to give more to them. As for time, no life I may seems but I am really busy with my work. Close friends of mine will know what I mean. Anyway, if that guy is really good for her, I wish them the best. Love is a funny thing. It can hapen to you anytime and anywhere but whether it will become a relationship depends on a lot of factors. Maybe the timing for me wasn't right. To say that I am not feeling down is a lie but I am sure I will get back on my feet soon. Being through worse than this.
Anyway, been listening to songs by Don Mclean and Don Fogelberg recently. Maybe this is really the season for oldies for me. Just like the simple folk tune and the touching lyrics of their songs. U guys should also download it if u never heard of them. Anyway, I will be at the Prudential Roadshow at SengKang from this sat onwards till wed. Feel free to drop by and seek financial advice from me if u want. :)
Last but not least, got to give my thanks to those people who were visiting my blog even though I never updated it in a while. Thanks for the support. Love u guys and gals!! Esp ppl who leave comments on my msg board. Wishing all of u Selamat Hari Raya!! See u guys!!
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:43 AM
12:43 AM
