Life is a game of waiting.. Waiting for the right ride to take us off to the sunset

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Finally, a chnace for me to blog. Was surprised to see 101 hits on my blog. Thanks for all my friends who had commented and read this blog. Really apprieciated it. I am now at an internet cafe in my neighbourhood CC. This shows how desperate I am for the internet. Friends who knows me well knows that I am one who can't survive without the net. I mean I have net access from my home since 97. The longest period I been through without the net is when I was training with the SAF. But trust me. When u are training with the SAF, no way will you be thinking of the net. U will only be thinking of sleep. I think S'pore men are trained to sleep less and do nothing more by the SAF. Guys who had went through army should agree with me. I mean why let me laze around from 8-5 but only give me "arrows" when I am about to book out for nights off?? Well, why am I talking about this now? I am an Operationally Ready NSMan now. Haha. ;P Good luck to friends of mine who are still in NS and worse, going for Ex Wallaby.

Well, I been to Australia once last year for Ex Wallaby and trust me when I said it was really tough. It can be abt 33 degrees in the day but drop to 16 degrees in the night. Beside that, we slept inside tents in the open when we are not training and worse, in the open when the Excercise commenced. The only thing I like about there is the food at the outdoor canteen. I mean with a can of beer at A$1.40, life can't be worse when this happens. ;)

Anyway, I met a prospect today at work. Had a good conversation with her. I mean I been slacking for quite a while so it felt strange having a conversation with a stranger about insurance. But after the formal stuff, we chatted abt our life and interest. She is an interesting young gal. I mean if I can't get her to get any saving plans, she still makes a good friend. I mean people tends to think that all agents are out here for a quick buck and run off but I am not. I like to help others and know more friends. But the sad fact is a lot of people don't trust people or tends to judge a book by its cover. I sometimes feel down when this happens. It is the content that counts. I mean you may be great looking but if end of the day u are down right despicable, u aren't worth a second look. That's why I Love SHREK. He is the anti hero or perfect person that I like. He have his flaws and that makes him more of a character rather than less. No one is perfect and no one shall try to do it too. It is too tiring to act a front for others. Be yourself. If you can't even face yourself in the mirror and say that you are not putting up a front for others, what's the purpose in life?

Finally had the chance to watch the Terminal today. Watched it in between my appointments with my colleague and it was great. Tom Hanks was at his best and Catherine Zeta Jones looks stunning in it. Some people might not like the ending. I am not going to give away anything as there might be people who had not catch this but you should really go and watch it. The ending to me is special as it shows that everyone had their own destiny in life. Watch it and you shall understand. A promise is worth its gold only if you set out to honour it. Nowadays, people tends to promise others the sky or the impossible. It seems to had come to a point that promises are just nothing. I am not going to whine abt it but let just put it this way. No one will trust anyone who keep on crying wolf. A promise is an honourable agreement between two or more parties. It is hurtful to be promise something but to be betray in the end. So think carefully before giving out a promise to anyone or even worse to someone you love. I always try to keep my promises but there are times that I fail to keep them. I am going to make it a point to keep to my promises from now on and I really hope that you guys will do so. Chaoz.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
8:49 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Here I am again. I mean it is hard to see me blog for 2 consecutive days but here I am. Anyway, I be going for a company camp on thurs. It is till fri and I doubt I will have the chance to update my blog anymore this week. Anyway, my Pc will be relocated soon back to my home. ;) I need it to do my work at home.

I am a guy who love Love Songs. I mean they are one of the best form of remedy when you are feeling sad or down. Music is so wonderful that it can translate through all languages. Just kinda bored now so will share with you guys some of my favourite love songs.

"But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?"

I am sure you guys know the title of the above song. It is Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough. My two favourite phrase of lyrics.

"Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through
Into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say
I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say"

Lyrics to the song Bizzare Love Triangle by Frente. Anyway, I chance upon this song when Jolin Tsai sang it on one of the Taiwan variety show. I love the tune and went to downloaded it immediately. Later found out that the lyrics are so power. Love this song. My favourite love song is still First Love. Though I still can't really undertstand the lyrics, the music and singing of Utada Hiraku just make u fall into the mood. Up to now, Utada is still my favourite Jpop artiste. Even got her best hits compilation. ;)

Went to Double O on sat for a birthday of my friend. Was quite piss at first cause I
waited for quite a long time before getting in. Somemore cover was $20 with no drinks.. I was thinking what the F***!! Turns out that the drinks inside was damn cheap. I am using the word damn cuase it really is. 1 Tequilla Shot costs only $3. Shiok man. I had 3 that night. Wanted more but no one to drink with me. :( Anyway, the music there is ok. They started with retro music(like it but it was a bit long) before going to Top 40s(my Fav). When they started playing Trance I decided to went home. Can't stand it. Anyway, it was a fun experience for me. My first time to Double O. ;)

Anyway, some of my colleagues might be reading this so this go out to them. I am not having a relationship with Joey. She is a nice gal and definitely my type of gal but at this stage we are just good friends. I am sure all of you know that she had just broken up with her bf. I am not the type to take advantage of her when she is emotionally weak. All I am doing now is just what I am sure all of her friends will do. Which is to show her concern and love when she needs it the most. She had it tough when it comes to relationship. She really need a break from all this stuff and I also don't like to be someone's Life Buoy. I am sure all of you know what this means. After a breakup, there will be a tendency for you to look for someone to comfort you and maybe even replace the hole in your heart so as to lessen the pain. But I know this is just a temporary measure. I am not a stop gap and I am sure I will not be one. I been one before and it hurts when she finally realized on what she wants. Anyway what she needs now the most is all our encouragement and help. We need to get her back on track and make her focus on something more meaningful instead of letting her drown in her sorrows. Something more meaningful. Like her work or hobbies like Outdoor activities. Keep her occupied. I don't know when she is going to recover but I am hell sure she will. She is a strong gal. What that don't breaks you makes you. After all this I really hope that you guys can give me a break. I may be slacking in my work but I still knows what I want in my career. I am getting my momentum back and I am sure U guys will see the change in me. ;)

Anyway, if anyone out there got any lobangs on cheap 2nd pc with monitor at about $200+, please let me know. Desperate for it.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
7:49 PM

Monday, September 13, 2004

Well, finally I have the chance to update on my blog. Listening to Jay Chou new song while I am typing this. The title is Jie Kou. The lyrics of this song is damn power. Anyway, my friend Kenn commented that most of my blog are of me complaining and moaning about life. To prove him wrong, I am going to tell you guys about a small love story of mine later. Anyway, back to Kenn first. He is a very close friend of mine whom I got to know in the army. They all said that army sucks but the friends you get to know from the army days definitely won't. It is always throught the hard times that you can see what makes a person. Anyway, he had just broken up with his gf whom I know he loves a lot. Anyway, take it easy bro. I know it is hard on you. FJ is a good gal. This I got to admit that but I am sure time will heal all wounds. Cheer up. Today is your day of mourning but tomorrow is the day you regenerate yourself for the longer path ahead.

Having this stupid bad cough now. Everytime I take Gin Tonic I will end up having a sore throat. No more of that for me again. Sorry Kenn. Gin Tonic is just not for me. Give me a beer anyday. ;) Heard from some of my friends that they are actually reading my blog. This really cheers me up as I was really afraid when I first started blogging that I will be blogging to myself. Always glad to know that my friends are actually reading this. One of them is Weiguo. I had known this guy since I was 6. That makes it near to 20 years that I had know him. I sometimes find it amazing that after all these years, we are still very close to each other. Even though we may not spend so much time together like when we were young, never once did I felt uncomfortable when I am talking with him. This is the best part of having childhood friends. Cause when we were young, we were just like an open book. Friends can read us and know what kind of person we really are. But as we grow older, we began to shut our real self from the world. We became a closed book. We began to hide our real self. We became good actors. Hyprocrites even. There are times when we don't really like that person but just because we might need his or her help in the future, we got to act as if they are good friends of us. This is saddening and sick. I am not implying that any of my friends are like that but there are people of this genre out there. After going through the army and working world, sometimes the world really seems quite dark for me. Who are be your true friends and not backstabbers? You will never really know until it is too late. So thread with caution my friends. I been backstabbed before and it ain't a good feeling. You might think of revenge but what will it lead to?? More webs of decit and forgery. Sick of all that. It is just like the Emu. For people who don't know, Emu is a bird native to Australia. I was watching an episode on Animal Planet when an Emu die because it refuses to show that they are sick. It is in their nature because if you show in anyway that you are sick or unwell, the predator will hunt you down first instead of your friends. Sounds a lot like our world. Really makes you wish that you can be transported back to the past where everyone you know is innocent and without any ill intentions.

Anyway, back to my topic. I am not saying that I am Takashi Kaneshiro or I am writing this because of the movie. Weiguo should know this story. There was once when I was in Poly year 2 that I fell in love with a classmate of my friend(Weiguo). Her name was Lizhen. She was really sweet and had a pair of big watery eyes. Her hair was long and silky and she has a nice figure to boot. Everything is perfect with just one small problem. She stays in JB, Malaysia. Well, things started slowly as I was shy by nature(Still IS and I am not lying) and do not dare to make the first move. It was quite sometime before I got the chance to chat with her. One thing leads to another and she asked for my icq no. Imagine how I felt then. It was better than striking 4D(I dun buy 4D). I was so happy then that I immediately went home to wait for her to come online. I know this may seems outdated but how can I ask for her no when she is not in S'pore?!!?? In the end, she did came online and we started chatting. From normal stuff to her life and my life.

Everything was so perfect that I thought I was dreaming. We even went on a date to catch a movie once. I still remember the title of that movie. It was The Sixth Sense. Close friends of mine should know that I don't really like watching scary movies. I even had to put on a brave front in front of her. Anyway, nothing runs so smoothly in life. Turns out that she had a bf and she is undergoing some serious trouble with him. She began to pour out all her woes to me everynight when we chatted on Icq. We even started to call each other at times. Sometimes she will call me but most of the times it was me who did the calling. Anytime she wanted to chat on the phone, she will paged me(No Hp then, it was 1999 ok?) and leave a message. I tried my best to resist her as I know that nothing will come out of it. She still have feelings for her bf and I was like a life bouy then. Anyway, it was then that I decided to give her a surprise out of the blue. Her favourite movie at that time was Xin Dong(Tempting Hearts). I went out to buy the soundtrack for the movie and also a book on how the movie was produced. I think it cost me a bomb back then. After buying it, I went straight to JB with only her home no and without informing her.

After reaching JB, I went straight to her workplace to look for her. Imagine how shock I was when they told me that she was off on that day. I immediately paged her to tell her that I was in JB now and looking for her. I waited for abt 1 hour plus but she never page me back. I was so disappointed that I went to shop at Holiday Plaza. It was then that my pager started beeping. Turns out that I was too deep inside JB and that's why I never receive her msgs. I felt like killing myself then. I went to listen to it and turns out that she was helping her friends do some stuff and was only able to meet me later at her workplace. In horror, I immediately went back there to look for her but she was gone. I paged her and turns out she was at Holiday Plaza cause she knows that I will go there and buy pirated games(I am a cheapo). I immediately rush back there again but still can't find her. I was thinking that she might have went back to her workplace to look for me again but I decided to search for her. I searched for abt 30 mins and I was about to give up when out of the blue, someone patted me from behind. I had finally found her. :) We were at opposite end of the building and it was only when I went out of the building to take a break that she saw me. She was waiting at the exit. ;)

I passed her my gift and also apologized for causing her so much trouble. I was so glad and happy when she told me that it was ok and she was just shocked and surprised that I will really go and look for her. We chatted abt me going over to her for dinner before but all along it was in a joking manner. We ended up having dinner before I made my move home. Love at that time was so innocent and sweet I think. Well, I think my blog is getting too long. Will tell you guys what happened to us in the future. Congrats to people who see this line cause it shows that u are a really patient person to be able to read up till here. ;P

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
8:33 PM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

I am typing this blog as I am doing my work concurrently. Being really busy recently. Makes me kinda think that my life revolves around work and more work. Come to think of it, the last movie I watched was King Arthur and the last time I went on a date with someone was like.... Damn. I can't even remember when. One of my friends reminded me recently that life doesn't revolve around work and more work. There must be a purpose behind all this shit that I am doing. Like what my manager always said; There must be a purpose behind the purpose. Well, the reason why I haven't asked anyone out for such a long period is beacuse of work. I remember the last time I met up with someone socially and not for work, I was late for near to an hour due to work. I was lucky that she was my friend. Can you imagine if she was someone that i am interested in? I think I would have been screwed. Anyway, this doesn't mean that my friend was not piss with me for being late. I still owe her a round of drinks at Harry's Bar.

The Olympics had just ended and S'pore again ended with no medals to show for despite all the efforts being put in by our sportsmen. I am not disappointed by it. I mean we should applaude their efforts. Most of us tend to judge people by their results and never by their efforts. Failure to me is just like a stepping stone to success. It is just like cycling. You must first fall before you can cycle. This is the same as life. To tell me you want to succeed but don't want to experience the heartbreak of failure is a joke. To people who never fail in anything before, I would say they are either lucky or they had never even try it at the first place. I think 90% of us belongs to this group. It is just like a lot of people have a lot of ideas on how to make it big. They can talk all day and even when they are old. It is just like building castles in the air. They just have no actual foundation. But what is stopping them? Failure. They just can't accept and live with it. I am in no way criticizing anyone but I really hope that people around me will understand the fact that failure comes to all people who make it in the end. Sometimes, taking back a step is not dropping off the pace. You need to do that so that you can leap further and higher.

Anyay, just got a nice song from Kenn. It is from the Wedding Singer soundtrack and the lyrics is damn sweet. The title of this song is Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler. Here it goes;

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, I'll even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man to grow old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

Sweet right?? Cheers.. ;)
P.S: The comment box is up so feel free to use it.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
9:15 PM

Thursday, September 02, 2004

As stated above. So to my friends if U guys and gals can't see me online when U normally will expect to, that's the reason. Anyway, I am quite confident I will be able to solve this problem by end of this month. I will and must cause me without PC at home is kinda like Char Keow Tiao with no egg. It taste no good and it sucks..

Anyway, with the stupid chicken flu nowadays and the fact that my fav Fried Hokkien Mee stall in Golden Mile closing early due to shortage of eggs really set me thinking. We will die without eggs. Ya Kun without eggs is shitty. Prata without eggs is tasteless. All my fav dishes got eggs. I actually had a contest with my friend stating what kind of dishes can do without eggs. In the end we only come up to less than 15. This is the first time in my life that I realize that something so small and fragile plays an important part in my life.

I always have this thinking that it is not the size of the dog that counts, it is the size of the fight it had in it that counts. The reason why i am striving on for my agency is because I have the confidence in me and my partner. I am sure this will be a great month for us and also for myself cause I will make sure I will get my Prudential sales figure up. I feel really bad for my manager, Sara. I mean she is a nice lady. Naggy but nice. It would be real mean of me to make her unhappy while she is going to give birth soon. I mean if I was her, I realy wouldn't bother with so much else and rest at home to wait for the arrival of the child. She rocks!! I will end with a chinese saying. :) "Just beacause that the tiger never roars, doesn't mean that it had fallen ill" Let us roar together my friends.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
8:37 PM