Life is a game of waiting.. Waiting for the right ride to take us off to the sunset

Monday, January 31, 2005

Well this post is going to be a long one. Bear with me on this. Anyway, I doubt you guys will finish reading every single word right? I think I better first start off with something important. I will be a parttime Financial Adviser from now on. Point to note; Part-time doesn't mean that I won't be caring about my clients anymore. I will still be doing the same as I had always done. It is just that I need a stable job as I haven't been contributing money to Mum and I feel damn bad about it. To be honest, if I am earning buckets of money from my current job, no way will I look for another job. So you guys should know roughly how poor I am now right? Anyone who want to treat me to a meal are welcome to call me up or leave a message at my Tag Board. ;P

Anyway, I had been to 2 interviews so far. Out from about 50+ applications. Kinda ironic when I just read the news today that unemployment rate is under 4% now and more jobs are being created. Who get all these data anyway? The first interview I had was with Yellow Pages which I had hope to get but doubt so. The other one was as an IT trainer which I just attended today. hope to get this one as I can work parttime which is what I want. Pay might not be great but I don't spend a lot. Though I really hope to be able to get some new clothes before the Chinese New Year. Time is pressing and to be honest, all I am armed with are 2 shopping vouchers. One is a $20 voucher for Topshop which I got from my StarHub points and another is a $50 voucher for Levis which I got from M1. The most annoying thing is that there is no way I can spend the Levis voucher until I get a new job cause the last time I check, there is no Levis Jeans going for $50. Hope that I have better luck with Topshop. ;)

Basically I been slacking for the whole week. Went shopping with Tessa and gang on Tues, suntanning with Alson on Wed and spring cleaning with Mum on Fri. Only Thurs was spent on training at the agency which was great. The best training I ever had. Too bad it might have come a moment too late for me. ;) Sat was spent playing soccer and spending the rest of the day in a daze as I was too shacked from it. We played for close to 3 hours and after nearly half a year of not playing it. Talk about madness of the highest order.

Now I must talk about Sun. It is the highlight of the week for me man. This story is long so bear with me on this. it all started back in last year when I was bored at work and came up with an idea to set up a flea market to sell second-hand clothes as I was amazed by the amount of shopping my female colleagues were doing. I shared it with Pig Head as she was with me then. The idea die down soon cause it was quite a hassle to collect them in the first place and also to convince people to let us sell it for them. Pig Head called me on Tues telling me that she got tons of unwanted stuff after doing spring cleaning on her room. Point to note is that her room is not that big to begin with. She asked me whether the idea of a flea market was still on. Of course it is but not after Chinese New Year as I needed time to find my goods. The next thing I know is that she had already got a stall on Sun and I am in it. To be honest, at first I was thinking of dropping out cause I got no $$ at all to share the rent which is $45 a day. I was glad I didn't do that as I had a lot of fun from it and definitely learnt a lot from it. I was so shocked when I boarded her car in the morning(She had picked me up with her BF, Jeff) as she really have tons of stuff to sell. Her boot was filled to the brim and half of her backseat was filled with soft toys. My contribution was 3 Ikea chairs for us to sit during the fair.

After setting up the stall, we begin to do our business. To cut the story short,there is no way Pig Head can be a good bargainer. Our first business of the day was only worth $4 and that's for a total of 4 stuff. We were in danger of becoming the $1 stall at the flea market(We were the cheapest stall at the market by a long mile) and Pig Head the $1 Queen. She is just too nice. Always giving in to people demand for a bargain. Everything also can $1. Thank god that all the stuff come at no cost as it was to be dump away anyway. I not that good at bargaining too. If only Tessa was there that day. Sure will chop them to death. ;) To be honest, we were just working to break even for the day but glad to say that at the end of the day we earned some money which is great. Jones also joined us at the flea market and ended up selling his trash for quite a tidy sum of money. I had learnt quite a lot from this flea market. It was fun and enriching. To be able to see so many type of shoppers in just a day. There were shoppers out there who is happy even if they can get it for 50 cents cheaper. I was wondering just what can 50 cent buy in S'pore now?? The most important rule of bargaining is never to give your price at the beginning. For the seller, you must give a much higher price. I had never seen someone who is willing to pay the price I quote at the first offering. There were some but it is really like 1 in 80?? I will defininetly do it again. I am already having some ideas on what to sell. And I don't mind doing it with Pig Head again. It is the company and fun that counts. ;)

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
11:05 PM

Thursday, January 27, 2005

I going to sleep soon so this blog will be short. I just received a email on how each horoscope behave and their mentality in love life. It is damn accurate for me. Anyway, I had been a sucker for horoscope for a long time. Find that it is quite accurate for most people. Anyway I will paste mine at the bottom. For those who wanna know about their own horoscope, leave me a message at my tag board. Anyway, I should be mailing a copy to those on my mailing list tomorrow. :)

CANCER MAN

The most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac.
MostArtists are Cancer. Cancer is controlled by the "Moon" and the moon
changeits shape daily, so Cancer man's emotional and moods change all the
time too. You will be confused with him and yet it is his constant changes
that "Charm" you. He never goes to get what he wants directly, but he will
wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he
will not loose it, except if he gets tired of it by himself.
The most sensitive man who can not stand rejection. He cares what
other people feel or think of him. He hates loosing face and he tends to
over protect himself, so sometimes people might think of him as a cold
person. Gifted, creative, imaginative, is Cancer. mystery and complexity play
a major role in a life of a Cancer man. He could be very funny, very
quiet, and suddenly very sad. Living with him could be much unexpected, for
you will not know what his next mood is. If you like excitement and
surprise, you have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored.
He thinks of his home as a "nest" and it is the safest place for him.
If he feels hurt or depressed he will stay at home alone, quietly. Once he
feels better, he will come out of his retreat and live normally again. Being
a looser is not his type.
It is so easy to fall in love with this guy because he is gentle and a
very polite guy. His wit and creative mind could win your affection. He
will come out from his nest to protect you even if he is not opening
himself
up to other people much. Not many people will win his heart. His security
is only when he has money in his pocket. Once he feels secure then he
might think of having a happy family. Even though he likes to make and keep
money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image, so
he will be happy to spent money to take you out to a very expensive
restaurant or buy jewelry for you. Certainly, when he has money OK?
He is possessive about everything that belongs to him. Don't try to
talk to another cute guy in front of him; he will get suspicious because he is
not very secure or confident in himself for this kind of competition.
Once you know each other too much, he will start to look for new
excitement, but not to worry for he will always think of you. If he
thinks you are the true love for him, and you try once to disappear; You will
be sure he will come and look for you.
He is a shy guy. But if he likes you, You can get up in the morning
and see that he is in front of your house everyday till you go out with him, a
very persistent guy.
He likes a secure, cheerful and lively woman, confident but at the
same time always acts proper and appropriate. He likes a secure woman, but
able to adjust to his rapid changes. A very difficult type to find a woman
indeed.
In the beginning, you and he will be so sugary sweet together and he
will only think of you. This so "super romantic" will not last forever, so
don't slip this chance. If you are the one who wants his interest, then act
and make yourself interesting. Be a supportive person and give him
compliment sometimes, but not too much till he thinks you are not sincere.
Unlike many other Zodiacs, if he is mad then you better get out of
that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his
shoulders or concerned facial expressions are enough. He loves his
mother, so try to be his mother favorite, but do not act like his mother!

P.S: Certain parts are not true. My friends should know which part I am talking about. ;)

Anyway, will keep u guys updated on my life next time round. Going to sleep now. Need to reach office at 9.30 tomorrow for training. See ya. :)

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:15 AM

Monday, January 24, 2005

I am still awake and it is 7 a.m in the morning. Will be leaving for work in an hour time. Damn. Next time I must not sleep in for two consecutive days for the weekend. I feeling tired now yet can't sleep. Damn...

Things to do if you have insomnia.

See a Doctor ----> Not that drastic yet
Take a Warm Bath ----> Taken yet still awake
Get a Massage ----> who massage me? :(
Listen to Music ----> Make me even more awake.
Drink Warm Milk ----> Sensitive stomach. Can't stand Milk.
Drink Herb Tea ----> Jia Jia Herbal tea consider??
Eat a Bedtime Snack ----> I had Wu Xiang and Tang Yuan for supper.
Avoid Caffeine, Alcohol and Tobacco ---> Just had tea with Vincent for supper. !#%##
Sleep in a Well-Ventilated Room ---> Got fan can already right??
Sleep on a Good Firm Bed ---> I sleep on mattress on the floor. Confirm HARD..
Sleep on Your Back ---> Or else how U sleep??
Get Some Physical Exercise During the Day ---> Wanted to go gym initally but end up sleeping. Darn!!!
Keep Regular Bedtime Hours ---> With the long weekend. Hard. Will sleep earlier from now on. I swear!!!
If You Can't Sleep, Get Up ---> Guess what I am doing now?
Don't Sleep In ---> My fav habit, :P
Get Up Earlier in the Morning ---> U kidding??
Keep Your Bed a Place for Sleep ---> No Bed lah..
Avoid Naps ---> U kidding??!!
Avoid Illuminated Bedroom Clocks ---> Handphone counted? But then again no light what.

Got the above data from http://www.well.com/user/mick/insomnia/. For those late owls, feel free to go visit it. Quite useful. Too bad I saw it too late. :(

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
6:59 AM

Rotting. The thing that I had been doing the past week. Basically just rotting. Kinda sick of this already. First 2 days of the week were spend recovering from my flu. After recovering, can't find the mood to go back into work. Really suspecting that I am not suitable for self employment. I only work when I am dirt poor which I am now. Never been so broke ever in my 24 yrs and 6 months plus of existence at this place we call Earth. The only thing positive that came out of the week was going out with Kenn after work for some chilling out. I been to ktv twice in a week. I watched 2 movies( Super Size Me and The Wedding Singer ) and countless episodes of Friends. My Sat and Sun were spend at home except for super with Vincent. Talking about him, he is like my part time gf now. This guy called me 4 to 5 times a day asking me out and also offering to join me for supper at night. I was never that hardworking when I was chasing my ex. :P

Anyway, The Wedding Singer is a great film. I never had a chance to watch it. Either I was busy when TV was showing it or plain lazy to sit through the whole movie alone. It was a romantic film and it is kinda strange for a guy to watch it alone. Maybe it was the weather or the time of the night when I can't help but feel a bit of romance in the air. The story was sweet and I liked one of the dialouge in the film. " All I want is someone by my side to hold me. If you find that someone you really love, don't let her get away." Kinda inspiring. :)

Anyway, am kinda surprised that quite a lot of people is reading my blog. To be honest, the main reason I wanted to start writing a blog is because of Kenn and Benson. I felt that it is a good way to let my friends know how I am and my views on things around our life. I mean it is hard for me to reach out to all my friends so I think blogging is the best way out. I was a bit skeptical when I first started blogging cause I was afraid that I might just be blogging to myself and maybe some people who have no life like me( I not saying that u readers have nothing better to do ). So I was quite surprised that there are people out there who follow my blog. I was touched when my friends asked me how my grandma was when they saw my post. Some of them was also curious ( Not KayPoh right? :P ) when I was having this crush on a gal. Now of course they are interested in how things are going on between me and Lizhen. Technology is amazing. No way will so many of my friends know what I had up on my sleeves if not for this blog. To all those people who had showed concern for me and followed my blog, I would like to say Thank You.

For all my friends out there:

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:47 AM

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I’ve paid my dues -
Time after time -
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I’ve come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world -

The above is to the Champions of the Tiger Cup, Singapore. To be honest, it had been nothing short of a miracle that Singapore had won. No one, including myself gave them a chance to make it to the semi-finals. Not to say win the cup. I had never had this feeling for quite a long time. I felt proud of the team and Singapore. All of them are typical Singaporeans like you and me. All they did was dare to dream the impossible and put in tons of hardwork. Their victory was truely a team effort. I will liken them to Greece, winner of Euro 2004. None of this would have been possible if not for the fact that they share the same dreams, hunger and desire for their dreams. I hereby salute them for a victory that is so well deserve.

It been quite a long time since I last blogged. Wasn't really that busy for work. It is just that I been thinking of options that are open to me for the future. One of the reasons why I joined my current agency was due to the fact that there was a great team spirit in the group. Everyone is running hard for their dreams but in the same time not letting those who have fallen behind the pace down. Everyone will be encouraging each other, pushing each other on for greater height. Sad to say, this had been lacking recently. To be honest, I really don't know what had went wrong. It would be unfair to push all the blame to the managers. To be fair to them, they did try their best to reorganise things. But to see my colleagues leaving the agency one by one really saddens me. First was Ek Chuan who had given me help and advice since I joined this industry. This include sleeping with me when I was still a newbie at the planning seminar. :P Next was Pig Head. One of the few who really understood me despite only knowing me for such a short time. As they said about all friends, it is not the time they knew us, it is the understanding they had of us that counts. Now there is only Jones and me out of the original F4. Speaking of Jones. He is quite similar to me in our thinking. We have quite the same taste and outlook to life. I am just glad that he and Junheng was the one who fought with me when I first joined the industry. He is one friend that I will never ever regret knowing. I just hope that he can get a gf soon. He need that spark of love life now to make it complete.

Talking about lovelife, it had been quite a down for me. Those who had read how I spent Christmas and New Year should know how down I was during that period. Things haven't really been looking up recently. One of my friends actually asked me if it was a matter of me being picky and choosy. I replied her that when you are thinking of this, had you ever wondered that it might be people that is choosing and deciding whether I am good enough for them? Human beings are fussy animals. If someone was admiring a normal car like say Honda, the moment he have a Honda he will think of a Benz. (Sorry if my comparision is lousy. I was never good with cars.) Anyway, went to Balaclava last fri night with Lizhen. It was quite a nice date with her. Not sure if I should use the word date. We never did anything that couples would be were to do. All we did was some catch up and some normal conversation. We were soon joined by Weiguo for a short while before her manager joined us too. There is a burning question in my mind now. Is her manager a bf of her or is chasing her? Cause I find it amazing that he will always show up the moment she gave him a call to pick her up. We were about to leave for maybe supper when she gave a call to him and just like magic, he arrived to pick her up. For those who don't know, she is staying at JB and with me having no car, it is impossible for me to send her home. So it feel kinda strange when your so called date is being ferried home by another guy. She did asked me some questions like whether I have someone that I liked or am I looking for a new gf? To be honest, I really don't know. I used to have a very huge crush on her. So huge that I can go to JB to look for her to pass her a present when it isn't even her birthday or what. (Refer to earlier blog) Fate had not been playing games with me I think. Being able to know her when she wasn't in my class and not even a S'porean to boot is kinda difficult already. Not to say being able to know her quite well and conversating with her on the phone nearly everyday at one time. Used to spend a huge part of my allowance just on calls to her.( She stay in JB) And then not contacting each other for near to 3 years and yet able to meet up again on the streets. Not just in S'pore and even JB. I really don't know what game fate is playing on me. Fate is really a strange thing. To let me see her again after such a long time and yet, I don't know what to do. Should I just chase her like how I used to do or should I just let nature run it course? Being so passive, I think the 2nd option sounds more tempting to me. Anyway, this is to Guowei, a bro of mine who is alone in Taiwan. What is meant to be yours will be yours. The timing might be wrong now but if fate had decided that she is for you, I am quite sure that nothing will be able to break you and her apart. In the meantime, just do what I had decided to do. Let nature run it course. I am sure you will get over XiaoYu soon.

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:10 AM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Today blog will be seperated into two parts. If you are a MANURE fan, I would recommend that you skip the first part as I really doubt you guys will understand LOGIC which I will explain later. Followers of EPL should know where I am coming from. The definition of a goal according to the rule of FIFA is: Any part of the ball which had crossed the goal line without any foul play preceding the goal. In short, if the ball crossed the goal line, it is a goal. So I am AMAZED at what happened during the match between MANURE and my beloved Spurs. It was a damn clear goal. Roy Carroll was a DAMN COCK for letting the ball slip from his grasp. To be punished for the opposition mistake is damn stupid. Even the Chief of MANURE admitted that it was a goal. I am AMAZED by the reaction of so many MANURE fans when they said that no way it was a goal and SPURS are DAMN LUCKY to get a point out of it. Well, to be honest, before that incident happened, I would have taken a point out of this match. Now, I think we deserve nothing less than 3 points. Manure was no on top of the game that night. In my view, no way can they win the Premiership and they can kiss their Champions League hopes goodbye. To even suggest that Mighty Milan will fall to MANURE is the biggest joke I had heard this year. Come end of the season if Spurs fail to reach europe because of the 2 points I will curse the whole MANURE team. And to those BLIND MANURE fans who had voted Carroll as the man of the match that night, all I can said is that I felt sad for you guys. MAURE FANS are poor sports and I hereby move them up to my No 2 hated team after GOONERS.

I am amazed by how the Tsunami disaster had gotten the whole world together. For once, the whole world are united in helping the poor victims whose lives had been destroyed by the brief but terrible waves that hit them. It gave us hope that a kinder and better world still exist in spite of all the wars that had happened recently. I am also amazed by the efficency of the SAF. I always had the impression that they are basically slackers and it would be a bit dumb to rely on them in times of need. But I am sure all S'poreans will be impressed by them after this incident. To be able to set up a command post in S'pore in such a short time is amazing. Even more amazing is the set up of a landing point for the LSTs and also airstrips in such a short time. I am impressed by their professionism. S'pore had really done it part in this disaster. People from all over the world are doing their part to help them by donating whatever they can. It can be volunteering their time to help, donations and even just by asking people around them to donate to the cause. We just need to stay in the comfort of our own home for a day and I am sure the money saved will mean a lot to those poor souls who do not even have a place called home anymore. We are lucky and blessed to be able to sleep tight at night at the comfort of our homes. So stop for a moment to think whether one night of clubbing is so important to you when they are so many people out there who are just like you and me, suffering. I am not a very religious man but I am really praying hard that their lives can be restore back to normal as soon as possible. Let them have a taste of what we are so used to in our normal lives. To us it might be the norm but for them it will be paradise. They deserve nothing less after all this sufferings.

Another Day In Paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
’sir, can you help me?
It’s cold and I’ve nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me? ’

He walks on, doesn’t look back
He pretends he can’t hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it’s another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it’s just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she’s been crying
She’s got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can’t walk but she’s trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she’s been there
Probably been moved on from every place
’cos she didn’t fit in there

Oh think twice...

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
3:13 AM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Well well. Finally 2005 had arrived. I approached it with both anticipation and a bit of worry. Will it be like 2004 which can easily ranked as one of the most fucked up year of my life or will it be a brand new start to a better era for me. Both personally and career-wise. I am still pondering whether to start totally afresh or hang on to my adviser job. Even if I am a part-timer in it, I can still ensure that the benefits of my clients are taken of. To be honest, I view them all as my friends than clients. I had developed a bond with them that I felt bad when I had the thought of forsaking them for greener pastures. Decisions. I really can't decide on it. To be honest, part of me want to stay but my mind is telling me that the family need money and I must do my best to do it and the easiest way is to get a stable job. Things will be better if I have a good boss but the longer I hang around with him, the more I feel disgusted with his actions. To summarise, I respect him as a salesperson as he is damn good in sales but not as a fellow human being.

Anyway, Happy New Year to all my readers. Just in case I never sent u a sms or say so in person. New year eve wasn't spent very constructively. Met up with James only after 12 when the whole world already had their fun and merry making. Was able to rot at home when he called and said he will bring me to some "happening" place. In the end, it was spent in a car travelling from Central Mall to Mohd Sultan and back to Central Mall again. Ended up at East Coast at a pub cum restuarant. Can't remember the name but it was cosy, nice and the chicken wings there rocks!! I think it is named Cavana or what. Must go back there again man.

The year end period was also a very good time for me to have some reflections. Like what will I had done differently if time can be turn back. I had never really liked the festive season and I still have the same views on it. I always feel that the festive season is best spent with your loved ones. No offence to my friends but what i think I want is really to send it with someone who I can relate to and also share the same vision as me. Kinda like finding a needle in hay. This is how I feel like. Singlehood rocks but it is time like this that you will feel like having a companion. Someone who will know what is on your mind, what's troubling you and what is the best way to soothe away your worries and encourage you. I am feeling down not just of my own problems. I also felt sad for the innocent victims of the tsunami disaster. I wanted so much to donate money to them but realize that i don't even have enough for myself. If I can't help myself, how can I help others? Close friends of mine should know that I like helping people. It saddens me that I am the one who needs help now.

Well, I got to end this on a joyous note. It is a brand new year for everyone. No use still wallowing in self pity and feeling down. Spurs will be playing Manure tonight. It is a match that I won't miss cause it had been a long time I am so optimistic of us getting a result at Manure and also seeing Ryan Giggs playing like how he used to. Gliding past defenders and riding their tackles. Thanks a lot to Kenn who managed to get me the autograph of Giggs. It is standing on top of my monitor. :) The best gift I had gotten during the festive season.

You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:33 AM