Thursday, August 30, 2007
I absolutely hate being lied to. A colleague of mine had recently quit his job to further his studies in Malaysia. I felt glad for him as I think that it was in his best interests to get his degree when he is still young. Though I would have to take over his job (kinda messy when he left), I didn't really mind as what's important for him is to get that degree.
Met him online earlier this week after a long hiatus. Though I felt that he was trying to avoid us, I take it as that he is afraid of us bothering about his work when he is no longer obliged to do so. Heard from him that he is currently working part time in KL and waiting to enroll to full time studies in Jan next year. Felt really glad for him at that point of time till I learn the truth from another colleague of mine the next day.
He was in actual fact still in Singapore and working for an indirect competitor of us. To be honest, I was wondering why would he lied to me in the first place. It is only when I think more about it that I felt angry over the whole episode.
For he is not the first of my so called friends who had lied to me. I am quite sure he won't be the last one too. I kept thinking about it. Is it because I look gullible or had my friends taken me for granted?
That I am a Mr Nice Guy and I would forgive whatever lies that they had told me. That I would forget about everything in a huff and our relationship will be back to cordial as if nothing had happened.
I wish I could do that but no. I am not good with hiding my emotions. I do feel hurt and betrayed when people lied to me. I can't act as if nothing had happened. Like what I had said many times. Trust is hard to gain but easy to lose. So it is either that I treat you as a friend or nothing at all.
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
7:44 PM
7:44 PM
我怕我没有机会
跟你说一声再见
因为也许再也见不到你
宁愿我要离开
熟悉的地方的你
要分离
我眼泪就掉下去
我会牢牢记住你的脸
我会珍惜你给的思恋
这些日子在我心中永远都不会抹去
我不能答应你
我时候会再回来
不回头
不回头的走下去
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:06 AM
1:06 AM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
A familiar but lousy feeling is coming again. Being among one of the big spenders don't prove anything. No team had the given right to feel that they will win even before they take to the pitch. So what if our strike force is worth more than 60 million? With no decent midfielders to supply the chances for them, what's the hope of anyone of them actually scoring? I had also been supportive of Martin Jol but can't help but wonder if he had set his priorities right when looking for new signing.
Kenneth might be laughing when he read this but I got to agreed with him. Jenas seem like a lost fish everytime he take to the field. A player who had promised so much but just unable to deliver it week in and out. He can no longer use his age and inexperience as an excuse. He got to stand up and be counted. Make those lung breaking runs that he is noted for. Pass the ball better.
To be honest, Spurs had never really been able to cover up the loss of Micheal Carrick. Zokora came with a big reputation after a great showing at World Cup 2006. If he is still showing the same standard in his second season, maybe it is time to promote Huddlestone to the frame. He can pass better than either of those two idiots that I had mention. It is not the age that should be a deciding factor when choosing your best 11. It is the ability.
Gardner and Rocha to me is a big big joke. Can you imagine Chelsea or Man U having them as their backup centre defenders? They belong to the same "elite" group of defenders who look impressive but simply unable to defend well. Bramble and Boumsong would make a great pair with these two idiots. At least Sam Allardyce had a sane mind to get rid of Bramble.
This is also not the first time I am complaining about Salteri but he simply don't have the positional sense as a fullback. He can't attack or defend well. I would rather putting young Ifil in for him. Sell that joker away. 3 seasons and he is like getting worse by the day.
I had always thought that this would be a breakthrough season for us. Though I had always been crying out for a decent left midfielder and a world class playmaker, I still have high hopes that the current squad is good enough to push those United Nation bastards for fourth spot. If Spurs is going to continue playing at this rate, I think it would be lucky if we can hold on to 5th spot.
Newcastle is going to be good this season. They had finally gotten a manager who had proven himself in the Premier League and if backed sufficiently by the new board, would be a force to be reckon with. Blackburn had also done well and Everton is waiting in the wings. To lose to a side expected to compete with you for the coveted fourth spot is like losing 6 points.
I am depressed. Not just by the fact that my stupid cough seems like never ending. But also of the fact that my favourite team is again playing with no imagination and passion. They must realize that it is a god given privilege to be able to play soccer well and wear the famous white jersey across them. This is no ordinary work. They are living the dreams of million of Spurs fan out there. I am sure that all of them are feeling as disappointed and disgusted as I am. I still have the belief that they will do well. I had the same belief ever since 1990 when I saw Gazza and Lineker wearing the Spurs jersey. Come on you SPURS!!!!!
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
7:51 PM
7:51 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I had nearly forgotten that come 20th of this month, it would have been 7 months since you had left us. How's paradise? I am sure we will meet one day then. In the meantime, do look over your parents while you are there. I am sure you will do it. 加油！！！
远方有一个地方
那里种有我们的梦想
某天也许会相遇
相遇在这个好地方
不要太担心只因为我相信
终会走过这条遥远的道路
oh para paradise
是否那么重要
你是否那么地遥远
oh para paradise
是否那么重要
你是否那么地遥远
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:02 AM
12:02 AM
Monday, August 13, 2007
Finally have the time to pen down my recent thoughts after a long hiatus. Had been writing something on and off but never complete or decent enough to be post.
Work had taken away much of my time since my last post. Illness took a distant second. Been coughing and under the effects of flu for the past 3 weeks. Worse part is that whenever I thought that I will recover, the stupid flu or cough will come back with a vengeance. Not sure if it is a lack of exercise (really don't have the time to even go jog) or that I am getting weaker as I am older. The worst part is that I am not even 30 yet. Is it that my body is giving me a signal to take it easier in life?
Recently attended the Coroner Inquiry of Rixin. For the uninitiated, he is the colleague of mine who I had grown to treat like a younger brother of mine. The day of the Inquiry was also the first time that I laid my eyes on the culprit of the accident.
I had always thought that I might not be able to control myself when I do see her. When Rixin had just passed away, my thoughts were that I will definitely take revenge for him. I will go all out to make sure that she is put behind bars. The longer the term, the better.
Maybe time had changed my view on things. Yes. She might have been at fault in the accident but does she want this tragic event to happen? I think no sane human being would want to cause hurt to another fellow human being. What's the use if she is jailed? Even if she is jailed for 10 years, the fact still remain. I had lost a good brother, my company a great employee, his parents a fantastic son and his girlfriend, a great companion who she wanted to spend her life with.
Forgiveness might be easy to say. Doing it seems a bit harder. I can't convince myself to really forgive her totally. I am sure his parents and girlfriend might never do so. But come to think of it, revenge is a vicious cycle. When will one really feel at peace in mind?
People who are still around us are the most important. I am not saying that he had lost his place of importance in my heart. But will sentencing the one who do not even want all this to happen to jail change any facts? The court had recorded an open verdict on his death. Based on the facts that were presented in court, I think there is a high percentage that she might not be charge in court. I think I will accept any form of punishment the law had for her. The sense of guilt which will be with her forever is the worst punishment God had given to her.
Nonetheless, I will still help out his parents if they decide to proceed with a civil suit. I think helping them is the only thing that I can do now. I hope that they can find peace within themselves soon. Holding on to something which is no longer around is painful. Letting it go and keeping great memories of those who had left us in our heart might be a better way to commemorate them.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
12:28 AM
12:28 AM
