Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Wow, been quite sometime since I last blogged. My neighbours are playing mahjong as I am blogging this. I know cause they are part of the reason I am still awake now. Not that I can't play it. Had the chance to join some friends for a game but decided against it. Don't wanna make them feel down cause of me. Chinese New Year to me is just like any ordinary day. It used to be very important and one of the festival that I will look forward to. I said used to cause ever since Grandpa had left me, Mum hadn't been really cooking reunion dinner. Relatives also hadn't really been visiting us as Grandpa is no longer around. I still remember that when I was young, I would look forward to it as it was a day that I can receive Hong Baos from both Mum and Grandpa. Reunion dinner will be quite a big affair as Grandpa is very particular about food, just like me. There will be fish(hate it but Grandpa loves it), chicken, prawns, duck and also soup. Mum will spent the whole day preparing for it. We will always need about 2 to 3 days to finish all the food cause there will only be the three of us eating it. We will have dinner together before she rushes off to temples for her annual prayer. I used the word temples because she will normally go to two or more temples. I will then spent the rest of the night watching TV with Grandpa. I will wait till he go to sleep before joining Weiguo, Muquan and the rest of the gang for movie or just hang around for the New Year. All this came to a halt when Grandpa fell into a coma when he was hospitalised for a normal checkup. I remember I spent the Chinese New Year Eve of 2000 at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. There was no reunion dinner nor any form of celebration of Chinese New Year. Till now I am still haunted by this incident. If only I had never convinced him to go for the checkup. He might still be here with me celebrating Chinese New Year. I really missed him. Whenever Chinese New Year come, this feeling just get stronger and stronger. Let's just said that ever since he moved on, Chinese New Year to me is just a normal day. I wouldn't say hate it cause I am sure Grandpa wouldn't want that from me. Mum had also stopped cooking reunion dinner cause there are just the 2 of us. She will be having vegetarian food for the first 3 days of the New Year so it is quite stupid of her to cook so much food for me alone. So my dinner for tonight was a plate of Steamed Chinese Sausage and 5 pieces of Fried Fillets. I don't blame her for this. I had actually suggested her to scrape the cooking. I will just eat takeaway from KFC and McDonalds for this week. I did that last year. P.S: I hate Fast Food ESP Burgers from McDonalds.
Spent the whole of Mon afternoon at East Coast with my colleagues. Was pondering whether I should go at first but glad that I had joined them. I finally mastered RollerBlading. ;) Though I fell like countless times but still glad as I am better at it than before. Wouldn't call myself an expert. Let's just said that I was able to blade from East Coast McDonalds to Bedok Jetty. And it was a two way trip. :)
Anyway, I bumped into my ex on Sun. I don't know how to describle that feeling but to see her again after 3 years apart just felt like time had suddenly stopped for me. Memories of how we used to spent time hanging out together came rushing back. I didn't acknowledge her as she was with a guy. Could that guy be her bf? I really don't know though I wished that I had asked then. All I did was to look at her from afar. Following her every step with that guy. I lost track of her when I was blocked off by a bunch of teenagers Lians and Bengs. Is it very cool for them to block the entire escalator for themselves? I can understand them for being not that smart and rowdy but to be inconsiderate is something I can't forgive. Though I had started hanging out with Lizhen, the moment I saw her make me realize one very important thing. The reason why I ended up with her rather than Lizhen. She was my counsellor and adviser when I was chasing Lizhen back in Poly days. She would console me and give me advice whenever I was down. I would down the same for her as she was in love with another guy too at that time. The reason I picked her was because she really loved me then. The concern I had from her was something I could never sense in any others gals that I had met. Not even Lizhen. She was aloof at that time. Someone once asked me whether I still like Lizhen. To be honest, I really don't know. It is like a guy thing. The one that got away is always the one you want most. Cause you never have a chance to have it before.
I think someone up there is playing tricks with me. To let me see the gals that I had liked before one by one is a sick joke. I thought I had moved on. I not sure whether I still have feelings for Lan(My Ex) but I felt the most comfortable when I was with her. I felt at ease whenever I was with her. She is a typical Virgo. Everything that she does is planned carefully. She is also not one that will give in easily(unlike me) and most important of all, she is damn good with money. Let's just say that the period that i was with her, I never really had a big problem with my finances. Whenever I go on date with girls after her, I will use her as a benchmark at times. I thought I had left it all behind. I am at a lost now. I just hope that I can get that Sales Exec job with Yellow Pages and start working. Your mind tend to wander around when you are unemployed.
Anyway, back to the main topic. Hope that I didn't bored you guys with my whining of my Chinese New Year. Gong Xi Fa Cai. All the best for the upcoming days ahead. To all my friends who smsed me, thanks a lot. The reason why I never replied was that I don't want to be another user jamming up the network. ;) And to Weiguo. Thanks for calling me to show your concern. Last but not the least, wishing everyone who see this a Happy Chinese New Year. Wang Shi Ru Yi. ;)
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
5:05 AM
5:05 AM
