Tuesday, January 18, 2005
I’ve paid my dues -
Time after time -
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I’ve come through
We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world -
The above is to the Champions of the Tiger Cup, Singapore. To be honest, it had been nothing short of a miracle that Singapore had won. No one, including myself gave them a chance to make it to the semi-finals. Not to say win the cup. I had never had this feeling for quite a long time. I felt proud of the team and Singapore. All of them are typical Singaporeans like you and me. All they did was dare to dream the impossible and put in tons of hardwork. Their victory was truely a team effort. I will liken them to Greece, winner of Euro 2004. None of this would have been possible if not for the fact that they share the same dreams, hunger and desire for their dreams. I hereby salute them for a victory that is so well deserve.
It been quite a long time since I last blogged. Wasn't really that busy for work. It is just that I been thinking of options that are open to me for the future. One of the reasons why I joined my current agency was due to the fact that there was a great team spirit in the group. Everyone is running hard for their dreams but in the same time not letting those who have fallen behind the pace down. Everyone will be encouraging each other, pushing each other on for greater height. Sad to say, this had been lacking recently. To be honest, I really don't know what had went wrong. It would be unfair to push all the blame to the managers. To be fair to them, they did try their best to reorganise things. But to see my colleagues leaving the agency one by one really saddens me. First was Ek Chuan who had given me help and advice since I joined this industry. This include sleeping with me when I was still a newbie at the planning seminar. :P Next was Pig Head. One of the few who really understood me despite only knowing me for such a short time. As they said about all friends, it is not the time they knew us, it is the understanding they had of us that counts. Now there is only Jones and me out of the original F4. Speaking of Jones. He is quite similar to me in our thinking. We have quite the same taste and outlook to life. I am just glad that he and Junheng was the one who fought with me when I first joined the industry. He is one friend that I will never ever regret knowing. I just hope that he can get a gf soon. He need that spark of love life now to make it complete.
Talking about lovelife, it had been quite a down for me. Those who had read how I spent Christmas and New Year should know how down I was during that period. Things haven't really been looking up recently. One of my friends actually asked me if it was a matter of me being picky and choosy. I replied her that when you are thinking of this, had you ever wondered that it might be people that is choosing and deciding whether I am good enough for them? Human beings are fussy animals. If someone was admiring a normal car like say Honda, the moment he have a Honda he will think of a Benz. (Sorry if my comparision is lousy. I was never good with cars.) Anyway, went to Balaclava last fri night with Lizhen. It was quite a nice date with her. Not sure if I should use the word date. We never did anything that couples would be were to do. All we did was some catch up and some normal conversation. We were soon joined by Weiguo for a short while before her manager joined us too. There is a burning question in my mind now. Is her manager a bf of her or is chasing her? Cause I find it amazing that he will always show up the moment she gave him a call to pick her up. We were about to leave for maybe supper when she gave a call to him and just like magic, he arrived to pick her up. For those who don't know, she is staying at JB and with me having no car, it is impossible for me to send her home. So it feel kinda strange when your so called date is being ferried home by another guy. She did asked me some questions like whether I have someone that I liked or am I looking for a new gf? To be honest, I really don't know. I used to have a very huge crush on her. So huge that I can go to JB to look for her to pass her a present when it isn't even her birthday or what. (Refer to earlier blog) Fate had not been playing games with me I think. Being able to know her when she wasn't in my class and not even a S'porean to boot is kinda difficult already. Not to say being able to know her quite well and conversating with her on the phone nearly everyday at one time. Used to spend a huge part of my allowance just on calls to her.( She stay in JB) And then not contacting each other for near to 3 years and yet able to meet up again on the streets. Not just in S'pore and even JB. I really don't know what game fate is playing on me. Fate is really a strange thing. To let me see her again after such a long time and yet, I don't know what to do. Should I just chase her like how I used to do or should I just let nature run it course? Being so passive, I think the 2nd option sounds more tempting to me. Anyway, this is to Guowei, a bro of mine who is alone in Taiwan. What is meant to be yours will be yours. The timing might be wrong now but if fate had decided that she is for you, I am quite sure that nothing will be able to break you and her apart. In the meantime, just do what I had decided to do. Let nature run it course. I am sure you will get over XiaoYu soon.
My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:10 AM
2:10 AM
