Sunday, December 19, 2004
Well, been quite sometime since I last posted. Quite a lot of things happened so this will be quite a long post. First and foremost I want to talk about is my PC. It had been kinda cranky ever since the beginning of the year but due to a lack of funds, I had allowed it to degenerate by itself. There was something wrong with the hard disk and the easiest option is to reformat it. Talk about easy. There are just too much valuable stuff in my PC that I treasure. My MP3, movies and pictures. Not to talk about the time that I will spend if I was to bring my PC down to Sim Lim. Well, it finally die on me on Thurs night. I was still trying to salavge my stuff from my hard disk. The best option is to go down to Sim Lim, borrow a hard disk from them and transfer the stuff that I wanted. But I got no $$. In the end, I got no choice but to delete every single stuff away from my hard disk. The only regrets that i had was forgetting to save the only 2 pictures that I had with my ex in soft copy. In no way am I still in love with her but those are memories that I treasured.
It is kinda amazing how you can just delete everything away from a PC. Irregardless whether it is bad or good for the PC. Don't you hope that the human mind can also have this function? There were times when I felt like deleting all the memories that I had with her. It was just so painful to think about it. Just like how a virus attack a PC. It makes you feel down and unable to concentrate on your tasks ahead. How great it will be if I could just insert a boot disk into my brain and reinstall my life that is without her. But I had learnt a lot from those memories. It was painful at the beginning no doubt. But it is kinda amazing how you could associate something great that had happened in your life to something that had also given you pain and hurt at the same time. Love is such an amazing and strange stuff.
Well, moving on to something positive. Recently met up with two potential big clients. It would be great if they will get the recommendations that I had prepare for them. Sales had been really bad so far. I really hope that things will turn for the better.
Anyway, I finally met up with Lizhen on Wed. I wouldn't call it a date. But to be honest, it feel kinda great to be able to sit beside her and chat with her again. For a moment I felt like time had stopped for us. We were there chatting like we were never apart for such a long time. She is single now. Just broke up with her bf a few weeks ago. Well, I was glad for her after hearing the things that her BF had done. If her ex was a friend of mine, I am quite sure he woudn't be my friend anymore. She still looks great. Maybe a bit more mature looking but great nonetheless. But don't really feel that anything can develop between us. Maybe fate just work in a strange way for us. When I was chasing her, she was in an unhappy relationship. When she finally decided to break it up, I was just starting on my relationship with my ex. When I broke up with her, she was attached again. Now that she is single, I still feel that there is a gap between us. I don't know how to describle it but just feel that we are better off as friends. I just felt that if we were together, we won't really last. Anyway, after my last failure on my crush, the last thing I want now is to embark on another fail journey. I am sure she feel this way too. She seems tired of relationship now. Who don't? Fate. How you work?? How I wish I can know the answer.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
1:56 AM
1:56 AM
