Saturday, August 21, 2004
Well, this hasn't been a good week for me. It should have been but as we all knew, someone up there always like to create surprises for us. My work week had been horrific to say the least. Everything that can go wrong had went wrong. All these problems are driving me nuts. I can't sleep well at night, think about it when I am awake and even when I am in the toilet doung my business I am thinking about it. I deeply felt that all these wouldn't had happen if people are more considerate and not back out at the last moment. I hate being played out but I just been played out this week. Makes me feel real down. Sometimes, I really wonder what I am working so hard for?? Most people will say that it is for the money but I rather think that it is for a dream. I also wanted to be financially independent, my mum to retire(she is 56 for GOD sake) and also to do something that I really want to without worrying about whee the next buck is going to come from. Things like backpacking, volunteering to charity, photography and lots of other things. I know all along that the process of getting there is hard. Obstacles that don't break us will only make us stronger. I am a firm believer in that. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that I won't fall to any obstacles. The temptation to just take the easy way out is great.
On a personal side, I am saddend by things happening a friend of mine. I wouldn't say it is who as the person asked me to keep her secrets. Come to think of it, I would rather it not be said to me as human being human always have a tendency not to be able to keep secrets. Just think of Pandora. It was lucky that for all the troubles she released, she also gave us hope. Hope is a great thing. Cause not matter how worse you think the thing had become. there is still hope that it will turn for the better. I also hope this for my friend. Relationship to me is like a double-edged knife. When you use it to your advantage, life become easier for you. But it might also hurts u, makes you bleeds when it is used in the wrong way. People who seems to be very in love or happy might not really feel that way deep in their heart. Sometimes, to act strong you would really have to wear a mask.Why the need to wear a mask?? Well, some just don't want their loved ones and friends to worry about them but for some it is the matter of pride. We just can't admit to others that we do need help and deep in our heart we do feel hurt and need an arms in waiting for us. What we can do is to cry or ponder about it when we ae all alone. Some even take more drastic steps like drinking or other forms of vice to immune themselves. Keeping ourselves busy, trying to act happy or all sort of matters to disguise the fact that we are hurt, troubled and need time and help. I am really hoping that my friend will be stronger after this. I not sure if my friend will be reading this. I really wish the best for you. There is always hope in face of so much troubles.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future where will I be?
2:14 PM
2:14 PM
