Searching for a piece of land called Heaven

Toy Story 3

2010-08-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

Skipped my class due to work commitments today. I think the temptation was too huge when home is only a 10 mins bus ride away while school is a total of one and a half hours worth of journey time away. Been quite a while since I am alone at home on a Fri night.

Just finished watching Toy Story 3 and I got to say that the best cartoons I had watched thus far are mostly from Pixar. The most important thing in any movie is always the storyline. I was thinking that there shouldn't be anything much to expect from Toy Story 3 considering that there had already been 2 brilliant prequels before this. I would just say that it had exceed all my expectations.

I won't really give the story away but the final part is one of the most touching scene in the whole movie. Though not as good as the first 15 mins of Up, it did bring a lump to my throat as I were watching. Friends who had watched this should know what I am talking about.

That scene reminded me of how I had grown to an adult and how mum had aged as time passed by. Time is merciless in that it seems to be flying faster and faster as I am growing older and older. I remembered that when I was a little boy, I had always loved sticking with Mum in anything she does. One sentence that I will always remember though I am unclear when my Mum said it is this. "Son. One day you will find me troublesome and naggy that you wouldn't want me to be around you"

I am feeling a deep sense of guilt here as I admitted that when I was in the growing up phrase from my poly days till recent years back, I were really beginning to find her a chore at times with her nagging. This feeling will still appear from time to time when I yearn for some personal space and time. I felt guilty as I am very sure that when Mum was carrying me along, the thought of wanting some personal time and space had never cropped up in her mind.

She was a lowly educated divorcée with an unreasonable father to support. Bringing me along was not a necessary option for her. It even greatly reduced the chance of getting someone who might be the next future partner for her. If the selfish thought of wanting the best for herself came into her mind, there wouldn't be me around to blog about this.

I don't know how I would have ended up like. I don't even dare to think about it. For all that she had done, I long to be able to let her do what she like for the remaining years that I can have with her.

I know that separation come to everything and everyone in life. It is just that the human heart find it difficult to be ready for that moment no matter how prepare you are telling yourself to be. I don't know when my Mum will become another memory in my life. Honestly, just thinking about this bring tears to my eyes for there are so many things that I wanted to do for her which are not done yet.

To that someone on top looking down on us, I hope to be able to succeed in my new career and be able to let my mum retire. Doing the things she like and spending time with her whenever she need me. I am consoled by the fact that I have a loving girlfriend who understood why I am so close to my mum. I just guess deep in my heart, I longed for the days when I were the apple in the eyes of my mum. A little boy who always liked to stick with her in anything she does.

I love you mum. You can be sure that my birthday will always be a gentle reminder that I owe everything I have now to you.

Twist of Fate

2010-04-14T19:32:00.010+08:00

Funny that I am writing this at school where most of my time is usually spend in class. Reason for this is that there is no class today. Brilliant me came here without checking the bloody student portal. Only realizing my folly when I thought that there must be a problem with the bloody screen when my class didn't appear on it. Yes. I admit. An act of Sotongness on my part.

Seems like I just can't strike this nickname off me. Coming to think of it, it is hard to change people perception of you once they got to know you. Even more so in this fast moving society where most of us love watching Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings on the big theatre but shiver in cold when the original book is thrown in front of them. We tend to judge people by their cover, not their content.

First impression counts for double in times like this now. I had been learning it the hard way. I got to admit that I am an easy going kind of person. I think this might have contributed to almost everyone who know me to try shitting on my head. Well, not literally but I am quite sure you guys get what I mean.

I did tell myself repeatably that I must look and behave seriously no matter what the occasion is. It might sound easy but honestly it is tough. Life is tough. To try to make it tough for you and the person around you just isn't my idea of living.

I tried to be professional in my work. I believed that my customer trust that I know what I am doing but it seem that it is hard for them to treat me as a professional. It do get onto me at times. To them, I am just the guy next door(not the looks I got to admit) who they can easily get over to help them out.

This might also be the reason why people in my company also don't treat me with the respect I think I deserve. Mainly my boss who I doubt will ever read this. I wonder out at times if I am not hardworking enough or the work I do is not of value. A pay increment of 600 after 4 years of working in the same company speak volumes of the respect my boss is giving to me.

Well, I got to log off now. Suayness hit you when library close early just when you bloody need the PC. See u again. Blog!!

Anyone still around?

2010-02-02T17:54:00.003+08:00

Hello, Hello! Anyone still following my blog? If you still do, I wish I have the monetary means to get you an award for being a loyal follower of my blog. Anyway, if I don't have the monetary means, cheques from people who want to help is always acceptable. :)

The above is a pathetic way of trying to lighten up things by yours truly. Truth is I am at school now waiting for my class to begin. See, my life now is so cast in stone that basically watching the paint dry might be more interesting to hear how I get through a normal day. If you don't believe, I will write down how a typical day goes for me. I know you will believe it after reading it so read on.

Work (which involve a lot of driving, running and clearing work which I never knew that I got the skills for), class (jogging or badminton if I can get a court from the new stupid website of SSC), home and sleep. I let you decide. Watching the paint drying up or reading the above.

Another sad thing I found out from leading this hugely challenging but boring life of mine is that the creative juices in my head is bleeding dry. Yes. Bleeding is the word I will use. I seems to have lost the mojo for writing. I am still doing a huge chunk of reading. Mostly by force(school requirement), minority is topic which is close to my heart.

I am just glad to have my family, gf and friends to keep my sane in this hugely insane life that I am leading in a hugely insane world. There will be time that they might do or say things that hurt me. But it is ok. I don't expect perfection from them when I myself is in a way, perfectly imperfect.

A year seems to have fly by just like that. A blink of the eye and we will be celebrating CNY. This remind me that I haven't joined the thousands of S'poreans in queuing up for Lim Chee Guan Ba Kwa. It is sinful especially for someone who is constantly fighting a losing battle to keep his waist size at 32". But then, it is just too perfect to resist.

Wishing anyone who is reading this a Happy Chinese New year. Just in case I take another long hiatus before I visited this lovely place which hold so much lovely memories for me.

Love
Perfectly Imperfect Me.

Death

2009-07-06T22:55:00.002+08:00

I had been thinking about the subject of death lately. Might be linked to the recent demise of Micheal Jackson. Death usually occur in a sudden way. It will be nice if there were some ways to predict it. It will be nice to say goodbye to my loved ones before leaving them forever.

For example, would MJ still be rehearsing hard for his come back shows if he were to know that he was going to pass away on that fateful Tues night? What will you be doing if you know that you are going to leave this world soon?

Baby was playing Sims 3 at my home the other day. For the unknown, Sims 3 is a PC based game where you get to be a character and live a virtual life till you die. One thing that strike me was the sadness feel by her other half when he was the one left behind by the woman he loved the most.

All of a sudden, I felt frighten. What if the same was to happen to me? Would I have live the last moments with Baby differently?

That's why I am constantly reminding myself to be nice to my friends and loved ones. Life is real fragile. One can never predict when is the goodbye you just spoken be the last one heard by the other party.

I tried not to bear grudges now. In some way, age had mellow me. I am not as hot headed as before. I tried to appreciate all the little things in life. Things like a morning message from the lady of my life, a glass of water from mum, a message asking for a game of Dota from my friends, a simple dinner with my friends etc.

If I were to move on suddenly, I hope that it will be a celebration of my life. I do hope that I had made a difference in the lives of my friends. Hopefully, the difference is in a positive manner. If it is not to be, do forgive me. It is not easy to have played a part in someone's life when there are billions of people out there in this world.

Tears will definitely be shed. We are human after all. Death is a way frighten and engross me at the same time. Do we really go to heaven and join our loved ones or we have to go through the cycle of life again? I don't think we can ever get an answer.

Time for my bed. Just want to let all those who read this that I want to say a big thank you for being part of my life. Be it used to or an active role now. I give thanks for the blessing that I had gotten from all of you. Especially for Baby and my beloved Mum. For I will be nothing without her.

The passing on of an icon

2009-07-05T22:55:00.003+08:00

If you are living in planet Earth, I am quite sure that you would had read news that Micheal Jackson had passed on due to cardiac arrest. I was in shock on that morning when I read about the news on Channel News Asia. Sadness seep in after the initial shock as I had lost someone whom I idolized greatly when I was a child.

I remembering standing in awe in front of electronic stores selling television sets that were showing his MTV. Hits like Smooth Criminal and Thriller were two Mtvs that left an indelible mar on my childhood. I tried dancing like him but failed ultimately as my body is simply not make for dancing.

God had given him a talent to create great music that can break down all barriers. Be it race, language or religion. You just can't help but to groove along with his songs or stand still there watching his Mtvs. It is just sad that with the talent came along the unwanted baggage of having a lonely life.

People don't normally realize what greatness is until it had left us. I don't think there will ever be another King of Pop. I am just glad that people of my generation had the great privilege of seeing him when he was in his prime. Rest in peace. Sad I might be but all party must come to an end. I am just glad that you had left a great legacy of music to all of us.

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

多情种

2009-04-30T23:22:00.002+08:00

A song for a good friend of mine. I think suit you to a T. I hope you find the Ms Right soon. :)

多情种

你说的话总是言不由衷
我不想骗你可是我真的都懂
我们是否心有灵犀一点通
你的笑容是那么真实如梦
能否带我走出人生的迷宫

幸福的爱情人说千载难逢
美丽的恋爱永远朦朦胧胧
迷人的眼神和你的一举一动
让我相信再荒谬的恋情
也有一片蔚蓝的天空

莫笑我生来就是一个多情种
努力努力让的的爱情故事与众不同
莫笑我生我就是一倨多情种
努力不让我的情网落空
想念着你谁能说爱人的心
不是冷漠世界里最温柔的风

Economists- Hope or Despair?

2009-04-26T23:52:00.003+08:00

I had finally began my study leave. Ironical for someone like me to have been looking forward towards it when my days in Poly were infamous for the high rate of absence from my class. People do grow old and have a shift in their mentality. I believe that it is for the better though at times minds get corrupted by the temptation of money and power. Things that are the barometer of happiness for many living on this lovely planet.

My barometer of happiness had been and always will be in giving help and joy to people around me. The ironic part of these is that money plays a part in it. A good example will be the countless stream of elderly people peddling tissue papers or collecting cans. We can either buy their wares from them or send them to an elderly home but all these required something called money.

Is money the root of all evils or the antidote for all evils? I am still figuring this out as I ages but I do hope that my life will not be just about chasing the next dollar or the next higher position in the corporate world. Part of me think that by learning more about economics and finance I might be able to contribute to a better world. Another part of me is saying that the honest truth of me learning this is simply that Banking is the sector that gives the highest pay cheque.

Like it or not but those idiots at Wall Street that had plunged the world into one of the deepest recession in the world are still going to get a much higher pay than most of the average S'poreans. Ain't Economists people who understand the law of economics and help the world enjoy stable growth? Or had they been corrupted by the promise of easy cash which they can gain with their knowledge?

I think I think too much at times. The top priority now is to sort my mind out and be ready for the exams. For people who long for a satisfactory degree in any business modules, look no further than UOL. You will be in for the ride of your life. This is something that I can be DAMN sure of. Ha.

Words that pierce like sword

2009-04-14T23:43:00.002+08:00

Punches and blows.
Hurt it might cause to the flesh
Pain I will feel
But it is no way comparable

To harsh words that is thrown at you
By thou you love and treasure
Bleed in the heart I feel
Sight of it I can't see

Deep is the cut
Pain is the utmost
Tears had been shed
Scars I will be left with

Ay me! for aught that I could ever read,
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth;
But either it was different in blood—

Welcome to 2009!!

2009-01-17T11:10:00.002+08:00

Happy 2009 to all. I know this sounds a bit late considering that Chinese New Year is just around the corner. The reality of life starts to bite in when you know that you have not much time doing something that you had always liked. For me, that's writing down my thoughts and views. I am not too bothered by it at the moment. For I know that the reasons why I am writing less and less is good for me in the long term. Thank you UOL!!

Just read through my posts in 2008. I am beginning to write less and less. For obvious reason, the post drop to near zero after August. :) Smart friends out there will know what I mean.

Looking back in 2008, I can't have much complains. Honestly. For once, I think my past year had been quite good. Coming from a guy who like to write and whine, this is a pleasant surprise.

Trying to recap what makes it so good. I feel that I had became more competent in my job. Not trying to boast but I think I am quite good at what I am doing now. Problem is this is not a job nor industry that I can see myself working in forever. The good thing about construction is that you will literally seen all types of people in life that no one can actually surprise you with his mannerism. Maybe it is the IN thing to shout or be nasty to your contractor for he is JUST a contractor. Anyway, I tried not to let idiots make my life miserable. This is what I always tell myself. Happiness is a choice that you make on your own. Not others.

I also started the long path to my long awaited degree. It seem like yesterday that I had my first lesson and now my exams will be here in May. Time for me to put more effort in my revision if I am to get the Bsc in Economics and Finance from London School of Economic and Political Science.
Though I spent most of my living breath complaining about how difficult the modules are, I know that it is a good and recognized degree. Hopefully I will still be of sane mind when I do get my hand on that degree.

The most defining moment for me in 2008 is to have you. Honestly, this sentence took quite a while for me to type it out. Still can't quite believe that we are really together. Every morning when I look into the mirror, I got to pinch myself to make sure that I am not dreaming. Just what I have on me to attract someone like you? Looks? (I try not to pinch myself when I think that this is the reason. Ha) Character wise? Talent? (If finding good food to eat can be consider a talent)

I think our relationship is based on knowing each other for over 10 years, seeing what the other had went through in life and slowly falling in love with each other. Falling in love. God. I can't believe I am writing this on my blog.

Love. Yes. I think I am in it with you. Five months strong and hopefully this new found heart beat of ours will goes a long way.

I think the video below best summarize how I feel now.

Come what may

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Changes

2008-12-02T23:33:00.003+08:00

For a slight minute, I kinda forgot that I have you around. My own blog. Ha. I think I am a bit out of touch here. The last post I wrote was in Aug or earlier than that? For all I know maybe no one even bother about you nowadays. I am just glad that you are someone who I can vent out my emotions with. For you do one thing that all guys want their ladies to do. Just listen. :P

A lot of changes had happened in my life recently. My part time studies is literally killing me, zapping every ounce of energy I have and rendered me lifeless on Tue, Wed, Fri and days after the above. Sometime I will ask myself this. Why in the world am I doing all these for? I know you guys will laugh when I say this but I want to help the world.

Economics is something that is essential. It can help to eradicate poverty if use correctly. This is something that I firmly believe in. The way to do it is to join the Statutory Board when I graduated. Implementing policy that will help them. Even if I were to work all life long in the private sector when I graduate, I will still want to help people move out of the poverty cycle by giving away parts of my income. Be it from my own drawn salary or investment. I know I am nothing now. But I long for the day that I can help others.

I had also gotten an important person in my life now. I am a private person. All I can said is that I had known her for a damn long time and just glad that she is mine after a long hiatus. I thank you for the support and encouragement you had shown me. Different we might be but in a way, we seem to make up for each other shortfall. I think you are doing the above more than I do. Cause I just made you angry again with some badly chosen words. Nonetheless, I am sure we will work this out. Like we always do.

The event with the most impact on me thus far must be the resignation of my good friend from the company I am working in. First, I must say a big thank you to him. For giving me a chance to learn what is having a job all about. Not just longing for the paycheck, checking on the clock for the time to go off, doing just what you think should be done and not bothering to think if a task can be done better. Put it simply. Responsibility and respect for my job. I am proud to say that I don't feel that I had wasted anytime in my current job. The industry might not suit me but the attitude that I had learn is worth more than any bucket of gold out there.

I don't know your real reasons for leaving. I am sure you know what you are doing. I wish you the best. For only the best will suit friends of mine. Not being lame but having a best friend in me deem you the right to have the best in life. Ha. :)

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves. .

Regret

2008-09-27T17:04:00.000+08:00

Regret is an intelligent (and/or emotional) dislike for personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often felt when someone feels sadness, shame, embarrassment or guilt after committing an action or actions that the person later wishes that he or she had not done. Regret is distinct from guilt, which is a deeply emotional form of regret — one which may be difficult to comprehend in an objective or conceptual way. In this regard, the concept of regret is subordinate to guilt in terms of its "emotional power." By comparison, shame typically refers to the social (rather than personal) aspect of guilt or (in minor context) regret as imposed by the society or culture (enforcement of ethics, morality), which has substantial bearing in matters of (personal and social) honor.

Regret can describe not only the dislike for an action that has been committed, but also, importantly, regret of inaction. Many people find themselves wishing that they had done something in a past situation.

The Singapore Dream

2008-08-03T03:33:00.003+08:00

Just back from watching Money Not Enough. With a cup of cappuccino still fresh in my mind, it's a toss between blogging or doing D Square Y Over D X Square. The choice should be quite clear at 3.36 a.m.

Found the movie a bit depressing especially towards the end when the inevitable happen. I think the movie simply drum in the fact that one should plan well when they are of able body and mind. I can't stress the importance of health insurance and investing more. For our parents or grandparents who did not have the benefit of education and a strewn of instruments for them to build up their retirement fund, it's understandable that they don't have enough to retire even when they are reaching 65.

This is a fact that is bugging me. While the workfare bonus is a good incentive to encourage able S'poreans to work and earn their own living, I still feel that more leeway should be given to Senior Citizens who have contribute a huge part to the bountiful reserves that Singapore is currently holding on to. It sadden my heart whenever I see elderly who have to throw away their dignity trying to peddle packets of tissues. Ironically when they are staying in one of the wealthiest countries in the world.

The Singapore Dream seems to constitute of a couple living in their dream landed property, with their own dream car, having loads of cash in their bank, having their own maid, kids in tow and credit cards in hand. Notice how all the above need money. Is living in Singapore basically a race against time to earn as much as possible while forsaking the slight moments in life which may give us more enjoyment than all of the above? It will be sad for our society on the whole if success is only measured by the amount of money one is bringing in at the end of the year.

Another thing that come to my mind now is relationship. Relationship as in Boy and Girl relationship. See in an ideal world, boy meet girl. Boy fall in love with girl. Girl accept boy. They start a family and lived happily ever after.

Problem is what if the boy don't have the above example as a reference for him to follow. What if he had seen with his own eyes the fallout of the marriage between his own parents. At an age when stigma is attached to single parent family. Boy will tend to be afraid of relationship. When all he can see down the road is the huge possibility of him living out the life of his parents all over again. Though he hope and pray hard for the best, it's simply a scar on his heart that he can't get rid of easily.

To the extend that he will not even dare trying to hold it in his own hands. For fear that he will only end up losing it. Yes. The fear is huge enough to deter him from even wanting to hold it. Though deep in his heart, he know it is time to look for one who he can talk to till his last breath. One that he can hold on to in times of need, offer a shoulder to when he is needed and simply an assurance to and from the one he loved the most. Even when he think that he might have found the one, all of the above is making him think otherwise.

This is in no way indicating that I have found the one yet. Just a summarize of how I feel towards relationship on a whole.

Choices

2008-07-28T21:14:00.003+08:00

If you were given three options as below to spend your lovely Monday evening, what would you choose??

A) Working up a good sweat by playing badminton with friends. A game that was decided more than 1 week ago with you having to go through the hassle of booking the court well in advance due to the huge popularity of the game among fellow S'poreans.

B) Catching the Selecao (Five Time World Champions Brazil) live in National Stadium squaring off against your local team. Being mesmerized by Ronaldinho & company. Watching a world class soccer team that had never visited S'pore for the past ten years and most likely not visit our shores again for the next 10 years. (U will have to forfeit Option A if you choose this)

C) Jogging and having dinner alone.

Guess what I chose........

Don't want to dwell on events that had already happen. :) Looking at the bright side of events, it's not everyday that I jog 12 laps at Bedok Stadium. :)

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

Dreams will only be true if you fight for it

2008-07-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

I had been studying unusually hard recently. Weekends are dedicated to self study unless I got tasks on hand that I got to deal with. Currently taking Statistic 1 and Maths 1 with Maths 1 being a major killer for me. For someone who had never ever studies A Maths back in Secondary School and miraculously got a B3 for E Maths in O Levels. Maths 1 is like bundling A Level Maths and Poly Maths inside 3 short months. Yes. This might sound a bit far fetched but it is the truth.

To be frank, I had never been so hardworking back when I was a full time student. NEVER EVER. Even when I had 3 Supplementary Papers in one year during my Poly Days. Not sure if time had turn me into someone who is hardworking or one who is simply afraid of screwing up his own studies and dreams. Yes. Those older and higher up in the rank of life have more responsibilities hanging on to them. I am just glad that I had become one of them after a journey of 28 years.

Dreams. I had wrote a few posts on it. The need for someone to have dream and how it is the leading light for people who is shrouded in clouds of gloom and doom. I am beginning to make my first step towards it and to be honest, this painful path made me realize one more thing.

Dreams require lots of determination and discipline before one can reach the promised destination. The travel of a million miles begin with the first single step. To even begin with, one got to take that first single step. It think it is precisely the first single step that is hard to begin with. One can talk till the cow come home and yet unable to achieve anything as all he does is talk. Ah. The beauty of speech.

To me, actions speak louder than words. Always had been. The reason why I am talking about this is the fact that I am seeing friends who are waiting for their dreams to just drop onto their lap from the sky. They can paint beautiful picture of what they want to achieve in life. Their desires and dreams. Problem begin the moment I start to ask them how you plan to achieve it. Most of them will come unstuck.

The older I get, the more I find that planning in life is of utmost importance. Executing the plan after planning for it call for great courage, determination and discipline. Though it had been less than a months since I am a part time student and a full time employee, I am beginning to feel the weariness if it. Working hard during working hours and yet having to be alert after it for your lectures.

There is a saying in Chinese which goes like this. 先苦后甜. One have to go through the hardship in life before being able to enjoy the sweet fruits of one labour. To my friends who are still dreaming, ponder hard. Time flies by in a blink of the eye. I sincerely hope that all of us will be able to achieve our dreams. Nothing can take away good planning and hard work in life.

Anger

2008-07-19T00:52:00.001+08:00

Anger - A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire

Anger

2008-07-19T00:52:00.000+08:00

Special Thanks to.....

2008-07-13T23:18:00.003+08:00

I am 28!!! Yup.. Seems like yesterday that I was still serving my NS, being a brash and naive young boy. Ok. The naivety might still be there but it sure had improved over the long winding years.

Reasons for the lack of posting recently are down to a few. Having to accompany friends during their depression period is one. This is one of the tasks that I like. I am not being sadistic. One good things with true friends are that we might not see them as often as we want but the moment we had a fall, we sure know that they will be there to hold us back up again.

Come to think of it, I think I got to thank them for keeping me occupied. I don't really recall me having that much amount of alcohol since I left my previous job. Yes. I had been a relatively good boy for the past 2 years.

Another reason for not being able to post that often also lies with me having to attend classes twice a week. Yes. I had finally started the long self torturous route to getting a BSC in Economics and Finance from London School of Economics and Political Science. Man. I loved the full term of my degree. Ha. Just ask Padi. I am damn sure she knows what I mean.

I had also been to KL and back recently. Got to admit that though KL was not as fun as I thought that it will be, I got absolutely no complains with my companions. Pictures are up in my facebook account and I will try to post some over here if I am

A) Bored with a lot of free time
B) Frustrated with my Maths Tutorial
C) Combination of the Above

Special thanks go out to Hee, Wee and Padi for leading me back to the hotel when I was knocked out by the stupid LONG ISLAND TEA in KL Zouk. Yes. I get drunk easily by that so guys or gals who are remotely interested in taking advantage of me should know what to get me when you see me in a club. :P Especially to Padi. I know I am kinda on the heavy side and damn noisy when I am drunk. So be glad that you were able to sleep on that night. Ha.

Special thanks also go out to friends who had helped or criticize me in anyway over the past 28 years. Brickbats or roses. They all helped me to grow nonetheless. To be honest, I prefer the criticism more at times as they will only tend to spur me on.

To friends that I had not been seeing as often as we used to. Rest assured that all of you will always be in my mind. Read a post from Chin Hui on friends growing apart as he moves on in life. I think that is inevitable. Friends will come and go during the different phrases in life. I am glad that I was able to leave a footprint on others during a point in their life. I am also glad that they were able to do likewise to me.

The names I got to thank are indefinite. You guys know who you are. As I looked back on my past 28 years of existence on this planet we called earth, I was glad to have the companionship of you. I look forward to many great years ahead with you. My beloved friends.

Love & 李宗盛

2008-06-23T21:55:00.002+08:00

Age will really change a person perception. Lyrics that don't make any sense at all to you when you are young suddenly seems so well written. I think as one ages, one begin to really start understanding the meaning of life.

I used to think that songs written by 李宗盛 was a bit too Chinese for my liking. Now as I begin to start listening back the songs that were written by him, I can't help but be amazed on how well his lyrics are written.

Love had and will always play a huge part in our life. Like it or not. Human beings were never created to be a single entity. Not matter how much you think that you will be better off alone or with a pet, nothing can replace the assurance and joy a human companion can bring to you.

It's like a drug. Giving you a high that others can't give you. As all drugs come, there will be beneficial and malignant drugs. Yet, one can't determine the nature of the drug until you had really tried it.

Friends might just be the best pharmacist for you. For one can never really understand nor know what one really want. To be honest, till now I am always unstuck by this drug. Friends who had taken the beneficial drug make me want to have that feeling. Yet for every beneficial form of drug out there, I can see numerous malignant ones that are ruining the life of my friends.

For friends of mine who are still under the influence of this malignant drug, I hope that you will get over the effects soon. Pain it might be but I am sure you will be better off without it.

爱情究竟是精神鸦片
还是世纪末的无聊消遣

开始总是分分钟都妙不可言
谁都以为热情它永不会减
除了激情褪去后的那一点点倦
也许像谁说过的贪得无厌
活该应了谁说过的不知检点
总之那几年感性赢了理性的那一面

有人问我你究竟是那里好
这麽多年我还忘不了
春风再美也比不上你的笑
没见过你的人不会明了

是鬼迷了心窍也好
是前世的因缘也好
然而这一切已不再重要
如果你能够重回我怀抱

是命运的安排也好
是你存心的捉弄也好
然而这一切也不再重要
我愿意随你到天涯海角

虽然岁月总是匆匆的催人老
虽然情爱总是让人烦恼
虽然未来如何不能知道
现在说再见会不会太早

啊多么痛的领悟你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步都走的好孤独

啊多么痛的领悟你曾是我的全部
只愿你挣脱情的枷锁爱的束缚
任意追逐别再为爱受苦

Material Wealth

2008-06-19T22:15:00.004+08:00

Just completed a small job today. The job scope include the upgrading of a Digital Video Recorder (CCTV System) and enabling it to be viewable from the web. What makes this job so special is the owner request to leave the old spoilt Digital Video Recorder as it is. His maid or maybe tenant had known it to be spoilt all this time and his intention is not to let anyone know that it is working well again.

This include installing the new DVR at an isolated location, using tape to mask up the led indicator lights and lastly to soften the noise of the built in fan.

I do not know if I should be glad or sad for him. Glad that he is well off, with a happy family and being able to contribute to the local economy by paying an obscene amount of money to my company for doing this job. At the same time sad that he have to resort to spying others in silence. Unable to trust those living under the same roof as him. Yes. He is well off in material wealth but is this everything?

The sad thing is that this is not the only customer that I had who are like him. Pin hole cameras, DVR which are able to pass off as a normal VCR and other strange requests. The richer they are, the funnier the requests.

I got to admit that I want to be like them sometime soon in the future. Being able to provide my family a life of comfort. But no way do I want to live in fear of people stealing from me or trying to cause harm to me.

Human possessions to me are stuff that come and go easy. If there are things that I want to guard and watch over of, that would be my family and friends. There are possessions that are worth fighting for. Not that one more zero in my bank.

Yes. There will always be fear that your maid who you don't even know well of doing harm to your children. The fear that they will bring strangers to your home when you are not around. But wouldn't telling them in advance of what not to do better than spying? Even if there is a need for surveillance, is there really a need to hide it up and hope to catch someone in action? That's to me just doesn't seem so right. But then again, who am I to judge others? All I wish for is that he is able to sleep well every night. Yes. The same activity that commoners like me had gotten used to.

I may not be rich in material but definitely not poor either in spirit. I got my family and my friends with me all the time. Yes. You who are reading. Be it a follower of my blog or someone who happened to just drop by. Be it a mere acquaintance or a friend who I had not contact in a long while. As long as we had met and influence each other, a friend you are to me. You are my most valuable possession.

Euro 2008

2008-06-17T22:25:00.003+08:00

Euro 2008. The reason for the lack of posting lately. The timetable for my body had taken a reverse during this period. I am sleeping when you guys are relaxing in front of the pc or tv. Wide awake when you guys are dreaming about me. Haha. That was a very bad joke.

Well, got to say that it had been quite a fascinating competition thus far. Not as much shock as the previous edition as most of the favourites got through to the quarter final. For those losers who vowed not to watch Euro 2008 due to England not being able to qualify for it, I think you guys don't know what you are missing out on. I think it is refreshing not to read all about the supposed "best team" in the world on The New Paper for a change. The teams that caught my eye thus far are Portugal, Croatia, Netherlands and Spain. In fact, these four teams are my tip for the semi final.

My personal favourite is definitely Netherlands follow by Portugal. I had always admired teams that play the game as it is supposed to be play. Attacking and trying to win the game instead of trying to bore the opposition into making a mistake and scoring a fluke or lucky goal. Teams like France, Italy and Greece come to mind. It is good riddance that France and Italy will likely be out after tonight as they are way too over hyped. These two teams are aging and it gave me great pleasure to see Netherlands giving them a good hiding. I had never really forgiven the Italy team of 2000 for denying Netherlands the final slot they so fully deserved. 2 missed penalties during regulation time and 2 more in the penalty shootout. It is poetic justice now if Netherlands were to send them out by losing to Romania. World Champions? Ha. Kiss my ass!!

My school term will begin in three weeks time. To be honest, the reality of me having to spend Tues and Thurs night at school for the future 3 months had not really sunk in yet. Here I am, still enjoying my leisure time reading, surfing the web and playing sports with all my friends. All these will have to take a back step when my school term starts. Well, no pain no gain. To be honest, I am looking forward to it as I really want to get that degree. The fact that I am working and paying for it all by myself makes me even more determined to get my hands on it.

Excuse me now as I try my very best to sleep so that I can wake up while you guys are dreaming about me . :)

Updates

2008-06-03T22:17:00.008+08:00

Been real busy for the past week. Finally had my golf PC test on last Tues. I played horribly for the first 5 holes. To be honest, it was the worst of the whole gang. I think it might have been the nerves but my swing was totally gone. At the range, I would at the most require 5 or 6 swings and I can start to hit that sweet spot. Luckily things turned for the better for the last 4 holes. I was even able to par the last hole. It was a Par 3 and a good shot was needed to lift the ball over the huge drain(act as a water barrier) and land it at a nice spot where I can chip for Par or maybe for a putt. I opted for the chip in the end and manage to putt it for Par. The feeling was indescribable. As all S'poreans will say, SHIOK! ;)

The Flu (yes, I got it again) knocked me out for most of the week till today when I finally have the time to go and see a doctor. Best part is the medication really work and I am feeling really fresh now. Summary of the story is make time to rest and see a doctor no matter how busy you are. I felt that working while I am sick kinda hinder my efficiency as I am mostly coughing instead of using my mind to think and plan for my work. Not to say the germs that I am spreading. Just glad that none of my colleagues got my virus. Coughing till you wake up in the middle of the night is really an annoying experience.

I am starting my part time studies in July. Yup! Kinda anxious as the course facilitator had been driving home the point that it is not a course for the weak hearted and encourage us to go all the way for the degree. I think she used " Do not drop out" at least 5 times and more. For those who don't know, come July I will be a student of University of London. Majoring in Economics and Finance. Reason why I chose UOL instead of RMIT is the level of recognition for UOL in the area of business studies. It is ranked among the top 5 in UK and I think that alone was a key factor in me choosing it over the rest of the schools out there. Hey, if I am going to switch career at the grand old age of 30, I had better make sure that my qualifications are impressive enough for my potential employer. Wish me luck. Hope that I can handle both my career and studies well.

Planning for a short trip aboard before my course commences. I am hoping to be able to find time and most importantly MONEY (the study loan is quite a huge burden) to go. Destinations so far in the hat is Phuket. Got a strange feeling we will just end up with a one day trip to Sentosa. Ha. Cause when you are working, it's really hard to plan a period whereby everyone is free.

Having breakfast with the Gang on a working Saturday morning.

Self proclaimed PSP lover playing my DS during porridge buffet dinner

Feng, Angelene and Me at Terminal 3. It's really nice and spacious. Worth a visit. :)

My favourite combo at Macpherson Hawker Centre. Fried oyster with Ice Kacang!!

Heavenly Chicken Chop from Foodcourt 1 of SP and topping it off with apple orange juice with Yakult. Life is good. :)

Gift of Sight

2008-05-25T01:42:00.003+08:00

A big thank you to Jodie for helping me to style and cut my hair this afternoon. Got to admit that you did quite a good job. I am not so narcissistic so apologizes for the lack of photos showing my new haircut. Jodie, you were GREAT at what you did just now. I am sure you will also be great at Lighting Control System soon. ;)

I had my first feet reflexlogy just now at the saloon. The good thing about this saloon is that it had a small corner for foot reflexlogy as you wait for your friends to finish up on their haircut. Nearly forgot to introduce this place. Not sure of the name but it is just opposite Wala Wala in Holland Village. It's on the 2nd level of the shop house.

Back to the feet reflexlogy. It was my first and it felt great. The most amazing part was that I were being attended by a blind masseur. I got to admit that the fact that he was blind play a part in me opting for the reflexolgy. I wasn't really expecting much and I am quite ashamed that I had thought of this at the end of the session. He, like Jodie is simply great at what he is doing.

It amazes me how a blind masseur is doing his utmost to earn his own keep. Compared him to so many S'poreans out there who are complaining of low salary, tough jobs and unfair treatment at work. It makes me feel ashamed on their behalf. More so on those who are simply living off their parents.

It make me realize that just how lucky a lot of us are out there. Chances are that if you are reading this blog, you are one of the lucky ones. For you have the gift of sight. A gift that enable you to see how beautiful the world is out there. A gift that allow you to live your life with no assistance required. For you are able to see the humps and bumps ahead of you. The same can't be said of the blind masseur who served me just now.

Living one life with dignity and pride comes to mind when I recall him now. Yes. He might be visually handicapped but the far sightliness of his attitude to life inspire me. If I were to have any complains about the cards that life had thrown on me so far, what's my cards to his? A whole lot better for sure.

I am just glad that I had the ability to help out others. I am not trying to sound holy and great here but the joy I get from helping others who had worse cards in life than me is simply indescribable. There is a Chinese saying. 施比受更有福。To be able to help is way better than just receiving help.

That's also the reason why I decided to increase my contribution to The Community Chest of Singapore. I had been on their Share Donor program for years and quite ashamed to say that my contribution is a measly $5 per month. I had decided to increase my contribution and friends who are interested can also sign up for the program here. Simply print out the form, fill it up and mail it out. The postage is free. :)

英雄本色

2008-05-22T22:22:00.002+08:00

An all time classic and one of my favourite Hong Kong movies of all time. They just don't make movies and stars like they used to. Just watched this again on PPStream. Still as good as gold. A Hollywood remake on the cards soon? ;)

Call for Donations

2008-05-18T13:16:00.002+08:00

I am quite sure that all of you out there had read about the sufferings the victims are facing in the China Earthquake and Myanmar Cyclone. I had also blogged on the Myanmar Cyclone previously and to my disgust, the military junta had put up so many restrictions on foreign aid despite the fact that thousands of people are dying and millions more of its own citizens are crying out for help. A stark contrast to the unity of the Chinese People and the efficiency of their government in handling this disaster.

The debate on the huge numbers of buildings that had just simply collapsed in the China earthquake should be throughly investigated but only after all major efforts to save the remaining survivors had been done. My heart goes out to the victims and more so to the survivors who have to suffer the pain of losing their loved ones in this tragic disaster. The torment and hurt that they are going through now is definitely excruciating.

I sincerely hope that the world attention on the victims will not be short lived. For the rebuilding and also healing of wounds will take more time and efforts that are being put in now to save the remaining survivors. Over here in S'pore, we can't really do much except donating what I think most S'poreans had in bundles. Monetary gifts might seem a bit shallow but I can't think of any other ways to help out the victims.

Do visit http://www.redcross.org.sg/ to do your small little bit for the victims. Internet banking is allowed (this is what I had done) for you to do that small bit for them.

Democracy

2008-05-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

The death toll in the Myanmar cyclone disaster just keep on rising. It was an unbelievable 4 at the beginning and now at a shocking 44,000 which seems to be an optimum figure too. What irks me most is the incompetency of the Myanmar government in the handling of this disaster. In an age where meteorologist is able to predict the timing and the estimated impact the cyclone will have, being unprepared for it is a heinous crime. The worst part was that this incompetent government do not enjoy any support among the majority of it's citizens. This is tyranny at its worst state.

My heart goes out to the victims of this disaster and hope that those who survive the tragedy will have the courage to live on. For they are needed for the eventual arrival of democracy to their country.

I had a discussion with Feng recently on why China do not like to use their influence on rouge governments like Myanmar in which they had close relationship with. He links it as a friendly neighbour not meddling in his neighbour household affairs. I do not share this opinion with him. If my neighbour is causing harm to his own household, I am definitely going to find a way to stop him or help out his victims.

Being silent will only worsen the situation. The most basic right that a human being deserve must definitely be the ability to voice out his own opinion. When it became obvious that the demonstration that was held by the citizens of Myanmar show a real hatred for the military junta, more actions should be taken by the world leaders.

Issuing useless statements do not help. More economic sanctions must be imposed on them. It is a simple law of the economics. When it become obvious that the money in which the military junta can earn illegally does not equate to the pressure they face from the international community, they will definitely and surely hand over their power slowly. I liken it to a rouge businessman finding no buyers for his illegal wares. There will then be no reason for him to continue in this line.

Donations should be given out in the forms of food, medication, clothing and other essential necessities. I sincerely hope that world leaders can then focus their attention to this country that was more advanced and richer than Singapore when it first got it independence from Britain. Democracy is the only way out for Myanmar. I am sure that with a competent government that had the full support of its citizens, the country will only do well.

Peace as a goal is an ideal which will not be contested by any government or nation, not even the most belligerent.

Aung San Suu Kyi

2008-04-28T23:50:00.002+08:00

A female singer who I admired a lot. Simple melody with heart wrenching lyrics. That's Penny Dai for you.

Baby Blues

2008-04-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

Been reading Baby Blues recently. It is a very funny comic on the pains or should I said fun one will encounter when interacting with children.

This make me wonder aloud on the emotions one need to go through as a parent. Is it really as scary as some parts where the child will cry continuously if not being held or fed at a particular timing? Or will it be as blissful as the joy one get when you see that little creature which look like you sleeping in peace on that little bed that you have got for it?

This also make me wonder on how my children would behave or look like if I have some in the future. (I do wish to have children further down the road in life)

I can easily list some of the bad points that I would not want him or her to inherit from me . I will try to keep the list short here.

1) Laziness. The number one thing that I hate about myself and yet my inability to deal with it bother me till no ends.

2) Lack of patience. Patience is a great virtue but sadly it is one thing that I am lacking in.

3) Being a sore Loser. I hate losing and I don't hide my emotions well when defeat of any kind loom down on me. Be it just a simple ball game or PC game but I absolutely hate losing in anything I do.

4) Inability to listen to any advice when it is being given. Due to my impatience, I do not fathom the need to listen to others when I think I can solve the problem myself soon. As what people like to say of me, Ti Qi( pronounce in hokkien ).

5) Stubbornness when used in certain times can be translated to persistence. Too bad for me, my stubbornness is always used in the wrong areas.

I try not to include too much so as to not scare off potential dates who are reading this. Ha. Self humor is a good way to kill time when you are alone in front of the PC. :)

Infatuation

2008-04-20T23:43:00.003+08:00

This post goes out to a long time buddy of mine. I am already feeling a bit bad now for being a bit harsh on him just now but I think it's about time for him to get his feet up again.

What he is going through now is similar to what I had been through. There is someone that you desperately want by your side but the sad truth is this is not what the other party have in mind. A lot of things in this world can be planned. Like how you spend your money, how you spend your precious time with your loved ones and how you want to live your life. Love is sadly not one of the above.

You might think that the guy in her life is like shit. No way comparable to you. But then again, who are we to judge? Love is and should always be a two way communication highway. If it is always you who are trying to make things work, this can't be considered love.

To be honest, I am struggling to find a term for it. It is simply infatuation. Longing for something that you will never get is a pet peeve for human beings. Especially for guys. I got to admit it but it seems like things that we can't lay our hands on are things that get us all work up over. Is it really love that is driving you on or simply a need to justify all those time and effort spent?

Love should never and could never be measure by the amount of time and effort spend on someone. To be honest, I am bad on this topic too but love to me is something that will make you feel like you are no longer alone in this world. Yes. Love should be something that complete you. Make you feel wanted and give you the extra courage to face the difficulties ahead in life.

Now I hope that my friend here will just magically wake up one day and be back to his normal self but I know this won't happen. Love is a double edged sword. If you are holding on to the grip of the sword, you are good to face the whole world. But if it is the blade that you are holding on to, the pain it give out is much more than any pain that you can find out there. The only solution is to let go of it.

No one can make you do that expect you. Yes. You are your own antidote and poison. Letting go will not heal you immediately but with the best medicine out there that is called Time, you will be fine soon. I am sure of this. I am not the best adviser in love out there but I am very sure that time will heal all wounds and pain.

也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

Random Thoughts

2008-04-16T00:30:00.003+08:00

Well, here I am again. Trying to create a post. There were a lot of things that were floating in my head during the shower. Even more thoughts came rushing to my head as I were walking back to my van to get back my spectacles. Yes. I am that damn blur even at the age of 28.

28. To be honest, this age seems a bit strange to me. I had the same feeling back then when I reach 21. I am not considered an adult back then but neither can someone treat me as a teenager anymore. Now that I am 28, there is no way that I can be consider as young anymore but neither am I at the stage where you can call me mature (nicer word for uncle). I don't know if this is a case of mid life crisis or trying to get a focal point in life but it seems to me that life just kinda zip pass me over the past 28 years.

Just what had I really achieve over the past 28 years? This is one question that I seems to have no answer to. One thing that I heard quite often from my friends are that, Christopher, you are a nice guy. But to rank that as an achievement seems a bit far-fetched.

To be honest, at times I hoped I can be that jerk or bastard that everyone want a piece of. I think from their perspective, nice guys are someone for them to step on for their advancement in life. I think in my line of work (construction, which I got to admit might not really be my cup of tea), being nice will never get you anyway. Those who are far ahead are those who can make strangers feel like they are their long lost siblings and those who need their cooperation begging them for it. Yes. Help is not necessary unless there are something in there for them.

This made me take a step back and think of this. Would I feel differently if I have a family now? As in having a wife and maybe one or two kids in tow. Is having a family considered an achievement? To be having a happy family is likely to be considered an achievement but being the pessimistic me who had witnessed the break down of my own parents marriage when my dad left us make me shiver when I think of marriage. To me, there are so many things that might go and can go wrong.

This might be one of the reasons why I had been single for quite sometime now. Discounting the fact of my last DOOMED infatuation with someone, I had hardly opened up myself to someone of the opposite sex.

The fear of rejection plays a part but the larger fear is that where is this thing going to lead us to? Marriage? Shiver will then start to set upon me. Am I dating the right girl? Will she last the distance if I decided to be serious? To be honest, at times like this I wish I can just take things easily like a lot of my friends do.

Well, wanted to post more but I think the Zzzz monster is calling out to me. Gonna brush my teeth(I don't want to spend $500 for a root canal treatment again!!) before hitting the sack. Nightzz ;)

Success Breed Complacency

2008-04-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

Mas Selamat bin Kastari. A name all familiar to us by now. Just read in the news that Prof Jayakumar were asking S'poreans not to dwell on the fact that a major security breach had happened. Reminding us of the past good work that were done by the Home Team. Well, truth is that this major security breach had already happened and I am sure that what all S'poreans would just want to know how this had happened and what are the steps to prevent a similar incident like this from happening again.

I think MM Lee summarize it best by laying down the true facts. We were being complacent. The core of the problem here is that success had breed complacency into the minds of the top brass in the Home Team. I can't imagine if a major fatal financial decision were made by the board of directors in a listed company. They were definitely be in depth investigation carried out with the findings opened up to all the shareholders. Since the pay of our ministers and civil servants are always being compared to the top 25% of the talent in the private sector, I would also like to see the same being meted out if they did something wrong. No more artificial encouragements like how this incident had strengthen the country or how the community had played its part in trying to locate the fugitive. That's just bollocks to me.

Quizzes

2008-04-11T22:49:00.002+08:00

Took up this quizz which I chanced upon on Elvina blog. Kinda true for me. Ha

http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/

Post from the office

2008-04-11T18:00:00.004+08:00

A long awaited post. That's if there is still anyone out there who are still watching this space for updates. Well, times really fly when you are getting older. I had been busy lately with my new found love. It's a small white ball that is lying there waiting for you to hit it with a perfect swing. My new love is the game called Golf.

To be honest, the thought of learning golf never crept into my mind before. To me, the game looks boring. Worse was the fact that there were so many different clubs in your bag that you got to choose to help you on your way to the putt.

What started out as a simple yes to the request of Chin Hui turned out to be a full blown love affair towards golf. My whole department is attending golf lesson currently once a week at the Seletar Country Club. (this kinda explain the lack of posts as to be honest, the only thing you wanna do after driving to there and back home is to sleep)

This is on top of our visits to the driving range twice a week. The session on Sat is a killer most of the time as we will normally begin at 2 and only end at close to 6. Spare a thought for my aching back.

I think the satisfaction I got from all these is that my game is improving. Well, there is still a LOT of room for improvement but I am happy that my swing is starting to form and consistency is creeping into my game. The feeling you get from hearing the sound given by the ball when you hit it the right way is indescribable. :)

I also have someone living with me under the same roof now. My new found tenant, Ms Joanne Gan. If only you were more accommodating with my relentless request for supper every now and then, you would be the perfect tenant for me. ;P Study hard and hopefully I will get a chance to speak more than 10 sentences with you per day. Yes. She is that busy. Busier than me.

Anyway, I will also be starting my part time studies in July. Yes. I had finally gotten my Edu Loan and is ready to go back to school. A strange feeling that I am volunteering to get my ass back to school when no one can see me in S'pore Poly back then when I were still young. Age really will mellow us up. I am no longer that young chap with that intolerable attitude and absolute intolerance towards authority. Will share more on that when more details are made known to me.

On board the Singapore Flyers with the lads.

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-10T15:17:00.000+08:00

Posting this while I am waiting for my mum. Women of all ages are good at dragging their heels at things. :) Anyway, hope that all of you out there had been enjoying your new year so far.

Chinese New Year to me is a good time for spending time with your loved ones and friends that you hardly have time to catch up with. Slight problem is that all these activities are spread over a short period of 4 days and there might be some that I had missed out. For that, I am sorry. Especially to Kenneth. Like what I told you bro, the first round of drinks will be on me when I meet u up to pick up my wedding invitation. Ya. The first red bomb of the year for me.

I had been spending more time this year with my mother in visiting her relatives. One thing that I dislike when I am visiting them is the constant haggling of why am I still single now. Yup. No gf to them seems like a sin considering that I am 28 now. I appreciate their concern but this is not something that I have any control over of.

??????

2008-01-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

You are busy. So busy that you have no time to gather your thoughts. No time to just stop for a short while. All by yourself to evaluate where you are going and where you are now. You are tired. So tired that at times you just fall asleep the moment you hit the bed. Only to wake up in a flash to face the same old music again.

It made you ponder. Ponder hard. Why the need for all these? Fortune? Fame? Yes. You might be earning more than before. But then you think. Is this really what you want?

It make you try to take a look at yourself. Try to understand yourself more. Just who is this guy in the mirror? Is it the real me? It is ironic when one can understand others well but never oneself.

I for one is trying to find out more about myself. Trying to understand more about this guy I see in the mirror. Trying to know what he really want and how he is feeling now.

From one of my favourite movies, Lost in Translation

Charlotte: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.
Bob: You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

Updates

2008-01-14T22:06:00.001+08:00

Updates!!!

My God-Son Jayden taken on the New Year Day gathering at Stanley place

Jayden and Me!!

Jayden and Feng

My favourite 鱼生 and 宫保田鸡洲 at China Town. Yum Yum!! :)

How my weekend was put to good use

I am satisfied with the hard work. :)

This was what my Generation used to make phone calls with. No fancy handphones back then.

Coming to u soon in February! Singapore Flyers

Die die must watch. Denzel Washington with Russell Crowe. Directed by Ridley Scott. How to miss a flim like this?!?

I wanna watch this too!!

Missed this show. :( Haizzz.. Wasted

Been trying to catch this show since the first day of the year. :(

Loved the book and hopefully that the movie will be as good as the book.

Keira Knightley. Enough said.

Nice album that I am currently listening to. Spent close to 1 month before getting the cheap China version. :P

Slow and steady does it. I admire it for it spirit, enthusiasm, bravery and determination. Not everyone would dare to move at a slow pace in life when everyone, everything is zooming pass you and threatening to crush you unwittingly. And there it is, moving at its own pace, moving to its own direction and carrying all its burden with it. Slow but steady.

Loneliness

2008-01-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

Is it just the weather or is it the sadness that come after all the festivities had went pass us just like a glance of the eye?

I am not sure what is bothering you. All I want to say is, though the journey of life is long and unwinding, it is never going to be lonely as you describe it to be.

There might be times that you feel that you are all alone. Times like these are hard to bear. The only way to go around it is to surround yourself with love. Love from your friends which I am sure that they will not be stingy of. No one should be. For love is the best medication against all forms of sadness there might be out there in this cold harsh world.

Come as you are in front of people you love and who love you in return. No need to build a false wall in front. No need to put on a mask which you want people to see. I, for one want to see the real you. Be it happy, sad or disappointed. I want to be there as a helping hand. As a life buoy if need be.

Take a rest if you must. For the rest will only enable you to walk a further distance before your next pit stop. Hopefully, I will be there at the next pit stop with you.

致公主：

其实并不难
是你太悲观
隔著一道墙
不跟谁分享

您的扑人
:)

I am Legend

2008-01-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

Lately, I had been visiting the theater more often. This should be a good sign to me. At least some resemblance of a healthy social life.

One of the films I had watched was I am Legend. Got to say a big thank you to Joan. She had bothered to watch this show with me when most of my friends weren't that interested in it.

In the movie, Will Smith is the only survivor of a man-made catastrophe. A brilliant doctor had found a method to cure cancer by modifying the genetic chain of a virus. Problem is that this miracle cure started to malfunction in a very bad way. It started to turn people into blood thirsty zombies and ripping the whole world apart.

It made me started thinking. How would I react if I was the only one living in this planet we called Earth. Yes. 1 out of 60 billions occupants. No one to talk to. No one who I can care about or who will care for me. All alone. There might not even be God for if he really exist, why would he do this to me? Losing all forms of hope and belief that you had always have.

All I know is that life will be unimaginable. What is there to live for? I had always believe that kinship, friendship and the love we had for our life partner should be the reasons why we want to live. The will to fight for our survival.

The most ironic part is that all these were caused by your fellow human being. Homo Sapiens. The one species deem to be the most intelligent on this planet. Given the right to run this planet and rule over all the other species.

I think what had happened in the movie could be very real. A lot of problems we had are man made anyway. War and global warming are two very good examples that come to mind. Would the animals have wars that will kill their own species by the millions? Would the animals create pollutants that will make Earth an unbearable place to live soon?

Anyway, I don't really like the ending. I think it kinda give out a fake hope. Not wanting to give the ending away. Do watch it if you are interested. It really is not bad a film.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

哭

2008-01-07T01:29:00.000+08:00

以前我看到朋友哭
我很羡慕
可是我怎么逗我自己
怎么逗我自己
我的眼泪都流不出
总觉得能够哭的朋友都很幸福
能够把满腔的无奈满腔的痛苦让泪水带走

最后是泪水啃在心头流不出
就像要爱却不懂怎么去爱
自己哭过后才明白
流过泪的眼睛将生命看得更清楚

只有真正懂得付出的人才懂得何为哭为何哭
再坚强的心偶尔也会脆弱
心会痛
心也会感动
只有曾经真心付出的人才懂得何为哭为何哭
泪水要记得为真心保留
眼泪别白白地流

Happy New Year

2008-01-06T22:42:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!! How had your New Year been? Fun I hope. Well, I spent my eve in front of my pc with a group of friends playing Dota. I know this may sound boring but I think it suit me just fine. Staying at home allow me to reflect on what I had done for the past year and also to think ahead of what I want to do in 2008. Plus the fact that Dota is free and allow me to have my own personal space rather than squeezing with tons of other people make it more appealing.

To be honest, 2007 had not been that fantastic to me. I think I had grown up quite a lot. Losing a close of friend of mine and also having a close friend of mine doing something which I never thought he. All these seem to be like a medicine helping me to grow and be strong. Things happen for a reason. Problem is that we might not be able to understand each reason behind it.

Like why did God had to take away someone so young and capable? Why did someone close to me had to tell a lie so blatant that I were the last one to find out? Why is it that I had always try my best to be nice to everyone but this do not seems to be the case for others?

Recently finish reading The Kite Runner. It's a very touching book and there are a number of phrase in it that I like. To quote from the book :

The ending was all that mattered. What all wanted to know was the ending. Did the Girl in the film find happiness? Did the guy in the film fulfill his dreams and got the girl he had always wanted? Was there happiness in the end, they wanted to know.

If someone were to ask me whether the story of Hassan, Sohrab and me ends with happiness, I would not know what to say. Does anybody?

After all, life is not a film. Life goes on, unmindful of beginning, end or crisis, moving forward like a slow, dusty caravan of nomads.

The above sentence seem to summarize life. Yes. One can be sad, unhappy and wondering just what's wrong with the world around them. No matter how much time they spend in wallowing in self pity, life goes on. Life do not care if someone had left you. Life would not stop just because it is painful to move on. Life will not stop even if you want it to. We just got to move on. Treasuring our memories, loved ones and looking forward to what's lie ahead.

I am looking forward to a better 2008. Hope that you guys will have a great year ahead too.

My Niece is in love

2007-12-30T17:02:00.000+08:00

My God. My niece got a bf. I think it is quite ok for an 18 year old to have a bf but still I am feeling strange. It seemed like just yesterday that she was this young little gal pestering me to buy her toys. Man. Had I aged so much? I wanted to know more about that guy. He don't look like a bad guy to me but still it's my beloved niece he is dating now.

Damn. I am feeling very irritated now. I was just chatting with my mother recently on how frustrated I was with her over her attitude in life and wanted to just wash my hands off her. She was complaining about being poor and yet being a spendthrift and not working during the vacation. Now she had made me even more worried by getting a bf. Guys at her age are a beast full of raging hormones. I don't want to be a grand uncle at this age. Pui. Touch wood. Schools do teach sex education in school nowadays right? Anyway, if I were to know that he tried something funny with her, I would make sure that he would regret having something hanging around his groin.

The worst part is my television had also broken down. I not sure if I can handle any more bad news for today.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Christmas

2007-12-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

So how was your Christmas? Brilliant I hope. The days leading up to Christmas was not that good for me. Worked till 8 on Sat, seeing how Spurs threw the game away to ARSE-nal, AC Milan losing to Inter Milan, Barcelona to Real Madrid and working till 5+ on Christmas eve though it was supposed to be half day according to Prince Edward.

It was all compensated by having a great meal(really love the Chinese style bbq) on Christmas eve after all the back-breaking work. Though Joan got to go off after dinner, the rest of us adjourned to McDonald for our 牛奶摇 (Milk Shake :P). Had fun chatting with the Prince and Princess. Never knew that our Princess could be so talkative and energetic. Haha.

If my memory didn't fail me, it was the first time in 3 years since I was out for Christmas eve. Just hope that my New Year Eve can also be as fun as this. ;)

Was planning to sleep through the day at home for Christmas day. Like what Princess had said, hibernate like a bear during winter. Things never go according to plan. Turn out that my aunt, cousin and her husband is coming down for a visit. Haizz. I spent the whole afternoon playing mahjong (which I won but all my winning were given to my mum as she had lost) and karaoke at night. Wow. This must be the first time ever since I was in my teens that I went to a ktv with my mum. How hip is that. Ha.

I sang songs that I used to sing in my teens (my mum don't know who Jay Chow is) and also listened to songs that I never knew that they exist. It was a fun experience. The joy my mum shown is worth all the effort trying to stay awake inside the ktv room.

Mum showing off her "prowess" :)

A classic Cantonese song that was sang by my cousin-in law

I think the lyrics are super suited to working adults like me. Working and working. Is it just for the money or the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Throw in the ever increasing inflation and I think I had endured a pay cut rather than a pay increment. Haizzz..

My favourite Sam Hui songs of all time.

Food that I miss

2007-12-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

Not sure if any of you guys out there have the craving. But I am absolutely sad that my favourite can food is still being banned. If Santa is around, the one Christmas gift that I want is have it deep fried in small pieces. Chunky and juicy. I am really missing you. :(

The below should bring smiles to Joan and Lu Jing ba. Though I got absolutely no idea why people will eat it.

For the unknown, the below is how it looks like before it was chilled to the above state.

A song that is playing on Class 95 Love Songs now. This was the version I liked before she went nuts and had a make over to a sexy look.

Holiday Season

2007-12-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the year. Where the weather is so cooling that sleeping seems the only logical thing to do. Waking up had been a struggle. Make that a big struggle. Now if I am my own boss, I would choose to fall into a slumber like what bears do during winter. Sad to say, I am neither my own boss nor a bear. So life goes on. Work, eat, sleep and struggling to wake up from my sleep.

Maybe as it is the year end period, my work load seems to be quite normal. Nothing like those hectic few months from July till October. There had been quite a few cases where I could still see the sunlight when I knock off work. :)

It is also the time of the year where people get into the festive mood. I am not a Christian but I am glad that there is a festival called Christmas. It is a good excuse for people to unwind and party after a long year. :) Not that I am good at partying. No programs thus far for me during Christmas Eve. Think I will spend it with my colleagues. They are like a second family to me. If only my house were big enough to house a Christmas Tree and a dining table for a nice big turkey. It had always been a dream of mine to have my friends over for a nice Christmas dinner and exchanging of gifts with the Christmas tree in the backdrop.

I had been quite into the music of Timberland lately. This would be great to get the party started for me.

I am depressed

2007-12-03T19:25:00.000+08:00

I am depressed. Just saw the doctor this morning. Seems like my health is really getting worse. Got another stupid viral infection. Another dose of antibiotics to finish. Maybe my body is telling me that it is time to eat more greens and less meat?

I am depressed. How could a team with Champions League ambitions lose to a team who at this time last year was playing at The Championship? How could a team who had qualified 5th in the Premier League twice for the past two season be at 16th at this time of the season? How could a team with such an impeccable home record for the past two season lost to a team whose players I never even heard of? To be honest, with Man City, Everton, Blackburn, Aston Villa and Portsmouth having such a great start to their season, it would be a miracle if Spurs could finish in the top 6.

I am even more depressed when I see a team that I had always despise leading the table. Topping the League after selling that French Bastard who I got to admit was one of the best the League had seen over the last decade. What make it more depressing is the fact that they are playing sizzling attacking football on the way to the top. The fact that they had been compared to the Great Dutch team of 1974 really rub it in. The best Dutch team ever. The team that started the term, Total Football. The team that had the great Johan Cruyff. My favourite international team of all time. The type of football that my beloved Spurs were playing in 1991 that made me fell in love with them. Don't make me hate you even more, Arse Wanker.

Plus the fact that Holland is drawn together with France, Italy and Romania for their group matches in Euro 2008 really round it off. Part of me think that it is a good chance for us to seek revenge over the hyper defensive Italians for the defeat in Euro 2000 semi finals. Another part of me said that it might be the French and Italians who will have the last laugh. I am just hoping that the fact that Italy always start badly at a major championship to work against them. But to be honest, this group look really depressing for the Dutch.

The only thing that brighten up my day today was that Singapore amazingly beat Vietnam in the SEA Games. With two of the three goals being own goals, it seems like God was Singaporean for a day over in Thailand.

The match that made me love Spurs ever since.

Updates

2007-12-02T20:30:00.000+08:00

I was sick over the weekend. The first weekend which I am free ever since I was back from Australia and I fell sick. How unlucky could I be? Anyway, slept through the whole weekend. Ironic part was that I was just thinking to myself, it had been a few months since my sinus had given me problems. The next thing I knew, I was having a very bad sore throat due to my sinus and a fever soon after that. Haizzz.. Feeling slightly better now. Hope that I will be fine by tomorrow morning ba.

Quite a lot of things had happened since I was back. I had been to Malacca, attended a friend's wedding and spending a fair amount of time catching up on my work. To be honest, time seems to have flew past me in an instant. I will try to use pictures to describe how was my trip to Australia.

My mum sending me off as usual. :)

The mayhem that greeted us when we arrived after a 7 hours flight. Caught a few nice movies though. :)

Zorro in my camp??

Ready to move out

Say Cheese!!!!!

Taken when we are about to move out. Still fresh and clean. Ha

The beautiful sky which keep me sane throughout the 7 days exercise.

Me and my trusted sleeping mask.

Me and Tong after our washup at Williamson Air Field

Me and Tubby

Ah Tong cafe. :) Haha. Thanks for all the hot drinks and maggi mee. :)

3SG(NS)Sim reporting in the rain. Wet and cold SIR!!!

Nice view of the mountain.

Last sunrise before going back camp.

My bed when I was in camp.

Packing up!!

R&R Photos

Nice Pony.

The pig was huge!!

Nice parrot

Koala!!!

Koala and Me!!

Group photo with koala.

Koala mummy hugging baby koala to sleep.

Me feeding a kangaroo.

Me feeding a mule.

Me at the Sports Bar!!

which allows you to bet on horse racing all over Asia and Australia

Anymore last bets?

Cold Rock Ice Creamery!!!

Yummy!!!

I love red wine!!

Chilling out at the cafe with our red wine.

Taken with Tong at the motel which we were staying at.

Chilling out with a cup of nice earl grey on a Mon afternoon. Don't know when I can do this again.

The best meal I had during my stay in Down Under. Yummy Oysters!!

Yummmm Senggggg!!!!!

More pictures can be seen at http://www.flickr.com/photos/12156421@N05/sets/

I am back!!!!!!

2007-11-13T18:32:00.000+08:00

I am back. My first meal after landing at 3 a.m today. Missed local food, mum, friends and my bed.

Will update more once I finish clearing up my dirty clothes, clear my email and a whole lot of other stuff. :)

Quick Post

2007-10-27T13:45:00.000+08:00

A quick one here. I am inside Terminal 2 now and flying off in less than 1 hour. Just had a nice lunch with Mum and Aunt at Crystal Jade Kitchen. To be honest, I am feeling a bit lost now.

Instead of having friends and brothers that I could depend on for my previous trip, I find myself among people that I am seeing for the first time now. I got to admire my colleagues and friends who had came to S'pore alone. Leaving their loved ones and a place which they had grown accustomed to for the past 10 odd years.

Though I will only be away for less than 3 weeks, I am already feeling quite uneasy about it. Leaving familarity to a place where I don't have much friends around me. Not knowing what will happen seems to be quite a scary thing now.

I think I can handle being alone in a strange land. I just hope to get this thing done and over with. Though part of me still feel that this exercise is useless, I will still do my very best. No point going over there to pout my lips.

I will see you guys soon. :)

PS: Terminal 2 seems to be more beautiful compare to my last visit here. Must go on a proper tour when I have the time.

Don't look back in Anger

2007-10-27T02:31:00.000+08:00

This should be the last post before I am back from Wallaby. This mean a good 2 weeks plus before you guys will hear from me again.

First, I got to say a big thank you to Guowei, Adlin, Edward and Hee for accompanying me for a last night out at Timbre. The band was great as usual and so were my companions. We chatted about everything and I was glad for this final sending off before my training in Down Under.

Secondly, I would like to thank my Mum for being so supportive of me. I know she don't like me to be away for so long. To be honest, my feelings are the same as her. But like what Kennedy had said in his famous speech; Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask yourself what you can do for your country. Let's just hope that there won't be another overseas training for me. I am the only child and I feel really bad to leave my mum behind alone for close to 3 weeks.

Thirdly, a big thank you to Ah Ho for loaning me your BIG haversack ( a great help for my books and stuff) and Guowei for your field pack and helmet. Without these, I wouldn't be able to board the flight tomorrow.

Fourth, a big thank you to Edward and my fellow mates back in my company. Endure for a while. I will be back to help out in the battle for success soon. Edward, please take good care of my DS and also my Hamster in the DS. Feeding and cleaning it daily is a MUST!

Fifth, I would like to thank you. I know you would be reading this. Thanks for agreeing to call my mum for me if I can't get to use the public phone and sending a sms is my only means of getting my status to the outside world. Thanks for patiently jotting down the relevant numbers and thanks for being such a great friend. Really appreciate it. :)

Lastly, but not the least, a BIG thank you to colleagues and friends who had wished me well for the trip. I am sorry if I can't meet some of you for dinner. Appreciate the thought and like what I had always said; 兄弟间，无需做太多，心照不宣。

A packed Timbre as usual. The beer was quite cheap at $40 per bucket of 5 Heineken. The lead singer is also the same guy who sang 身外物 on the sound track of 881.

Rich woman and Rich Man.

Poor guy and Poor boy.

I know I look very 娘 here. Thanks to the Rich woman who suggested this pose. She is rich. So I LL.

Till I am back, my friends. :)

I would really like to end this on a happy note. But after hearing what Adlin had told me, I think it is time I make a stance. We should just move on. We know that things can't be like how it used to be. Things broken just can't be the same no matter how hard we try to pretend. If you got any unhappiness, please direct it to me. My friends play an important role in my life. Defaming them for things that they did not do and causing them hurt in the process is equally hurtful to me.

We should just look forward. Like what I had shared with Joan. We shall not think of things that had happened or might not happen. For we can't change the past or predict the unknown. I want to move on. I want you guys to move on. I want myself to be happy. My friends to be happy. And for you guys to be happy. Hands on my heart. This is the truth.

古惑仔III

2007-10-26T14:56:00.001+08:00

Just watched this show on Chinese Star Movies this afternoon. Really brought back the memories and also a sobering fact that I am getting old.

Theme song of the show which was a hit among gals back then. I think Adlin should like it ba. Just too bad you cannot be consider a small girl anymore. :P

The scene which make most of the female viewers weep.

Thanks for the help

2007-10-26T14:52:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all the help. Enjoy the video below. ;)

That I would be good

2007-10-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

A song I downloaded from Ed recently. Though it is an old song, just wanted to share it with you guys. Loved the lyrics.

"That I Would Be Good"

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you

One of my favorite movies of all time.

Strange Feeling

2007-10-25T15:08:00.000+08:00

Blogging at this time seems strange to me. Took today off as I want to have a good break before going for my so called "holiday" in Australia. Woke up at around 10 this morning. I didn't sleep much also. Reason being that I went to sleep only at around 2 plus in the morning.

Had went to the Thai disco with Ed and Guowei after a heavy steamboat dinner. Never knew that there was a place like that there. Ha. The band was quite ok thought I don't really understand what they were singing. Singha beer was quite a steal at $32 for 2 jugs during happy hour. One thing I got to admit was that all the female singers and dancers in the band got an amazing figure. Not sure what they took for meals but all of them got a super slim tummy. Make me feel bad over my 3 months pregnancy tummy.

Upload some photos that I had taken recently.

Dinner at Sakae Teppanyaki with Adlin and Diana. The beef was great!

Big big oyster of Adlin. It ended up in my tummy as she don't take oysters. Haha. :)

Took this in a bus. If you looked carefully, the birds are actually playing around in the water.

One of the projects I was working on. Took this at around 8 plus in the night and my hands aching after opening and closing around 400 doors.

Mcdonald drive-through seems to be the only choice when you are driving around, rushing to sites and no time for a proper meal.

Mummy Boy

2007-10-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

Well, it's me again. 2nd post for the week. When did this last happened? Ha. A cup of nice earl grey tea also seems to give me the motivation to blog.

A lot of my friends like to call me a Mummy Boy. Reasons being that my mum would always call and check if I am ok (Yes. I am 27 now), prepare my breakfast for me and always nagging me on what to do and not to do in front of others. I, for my part obey most of her instructions.

Not trying to diffuse the above fact. But I am doing some thinking here and felt that they might not know the full reason behind all these. I am sure most of you know that I came from a single family by now.

One of the most clear memories that I had of my childhood was my mum drinking and smoking alone in the living room. She had just put me to bed and thought that I was sound asleep. I had not and took a peek to see what she was doing.

And there she was. Weeping alone with tears streaming down her face. I was feeling lost then. For I was too young to fathom why she was weeping. All I knew then was that I must make sure that she doesn't do this again in the future.

It was only when I am older that I realize that it must have been a combination of loneliness, stress of bringing up a child alone and the heartache of betrayal by your husband. This also explained the reason for my mother being so close to me.

She didn't had the luxury of having a loving husband by her side through the years. Neither did she had a lot of close friends as she had lost contact with most of them due to her time being taken away by me. Yes. The same person who is being called a Mummy Boy.

She could have quite a substantial sum of savings at the rate she was working from then till now. She might have found a new guy in her life. A new guy who can walk with her down a path we call life. She might even be able to travel aboard, volunteering her time for the needy or simply taking life easy.

All the above make me felt that I was a stepping stone in her life. All the above spur me on to do all I can for her. Not sure if people realize this. Life as a child growing up in a single family is really different from a complete family. Definitely not trying to gain sympathy here but I am willing to be called a mummy boy. To be honest, I am not even slightly bother by it. I am sure you guys know the reason by now. That is if you had the effort to read up to here. ;)

Super Mum!!!

Shelter

2007-10-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

What's wrong, what's getting you down?
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around
With your head to the ground
And your eyes are watery red

I know you've been through tough times
Kicked around, thrown to the ground
But you've always been the strong one
So don't tell me that nobody gets you'
Cause I'm standing in your corner
Knocking at your door
You don't have to be alone

Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend

Ex Wallaby 2007

2007-10-22T11:19:00.000+08:00

Updates!! Just in case you do not know from my MSN nick or Facebook, I will be leaving for Australia on this Sat for Ex Wallaby 2007. My 2nd time there and No. It's not a holiday trip. For people who think of it this way, they are either dumb or never been there before.

No beds, lockers, PCs, Tv, newspaper and normal bathrooms. I will be lost from Civilization. Just like that hit drama. Lost. I am going to miss surfing my Facebook daily (I am hooked on it!!), playing DOTA, cheap and nice local food (SGD 500 = AUD 373 and the worse part is all that is available are hotdogs, burgers and french fries), relaxing in my bed with a good book (suffering on a safari bed inside a freaking big tent in the middle of a desert, my friends, my mum and simply being in touch with civilization.

But I try not to be too pessimistic here. I had came up with a list of good things that I can get out of this shit hole

1) I will hopefully lose weight and flatten my 3 months pregnancy tummy when I am back. The hot weather and tough training program should be able to do that. For my female friends who swear by slimming pills and Marie France, I recommend an overseas exercise organized by the SAF. You get pay for losing weight!!

2) I will have time to finish the pile of books that I had been buying but had no time to read. The sun rise at freaking 5 a.m (total daylight by 6 am local time, 4 am S'pore time) and set at 5 p.m. With no tv to watch, no training program after 6 p.m and no pc to play around with, your only companion will be a book. For me, it will be 4 books.

3) I will have the chance to enjoy cheap and good beer!! I know this will kinda cancel out point 1 but with coke at a price of AUD 2.20 and beer at a price of AUD 1.40, I think the choice is pretty obvious. You will hate plain water after 3 days as you will have too much to drink during the daytime due to the extreme weather.

4) A nice tan. This is a certainty.

5) A chance to catch up with myself. Yes. Not with friends but with myself. Life had been moving at a relentless pace. Being alone with so much free time on my hand will make it a good chance for me to look back on 2007 and what I had missed out and achieved so far.

Try not to miss me too much when I am not around. Ha. I doubt anyone will feel so ba. But I am sure going to miss all of you.

Updates

2007-10-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

To be honest, not quite sure what I want to pen down here. Time seems to have pick up speed in my life. Making everyday seems so short. Not sure if it is work or just a resignation to life as it is. Zooming past in a blink and making it hard for people to catch their breath and reorganize their own footstep.

Been spending quite a bit lately. Bought a new handphone lately and is loving it to pieces. The model is Samsung i600. I am using it to plan my schedule, surf the net and check my mail when I am waiting for friends ( etc: Mr Low Quek Wee) and a neat camera which I used to take snapshot of friends and things around me.

Nintendo DS Lite was another expensive item I bought in the past month. Just in case that you guys might think that I strike lottery or something, I had not. This set was an used one I got from Chin Hui. It happened that I was hoping to have enough money to buy a DS and he came up with the suggestion of selling his used one to me. He was sharing this unit with his gf and want to change to a pink one for her sake. How can I reject such a sweet hearted guy request? Anyway, the DS had bought me many delight at home and on the road home or work. My only complain is that I never seem to have enough time to play it. As I am writing, it had been close to 2 weeks since I got to Pokemon Diamond. Haizzz..

Some of the pictures I took with my handphone.

Delicious Cesar Salad at Hilton Hotel Cafe

Was working on a project in Bukit Timah. Still wondering why the need for 2 toilet bowls here. Do let me know if you know the reason.

Nice pond in the project I am working on now. Btw, the owner is FREAKING Rich.

My working table. Damn Messy Haha

The result of 4 hungry guys having a steamboat dinner after a week of hard work.

Cute baby of Jiabao. Btw, that's my DS he was playing with.

Brothers since 1986.

Well, I got to go now. Need to prepare for a wedding dinner later on. My 2nd in a row this month. Talk about coincidence. I think my nickname for this month will be Poor Man. ;)

881

2007-09-09T02:57:00.000+08:00

生命最无奈的就是看着你最爱的亲人，爱人和朋友因病而一天一天的离你而去。
在那时候，真的感觉很无助。无论你多么的努力和不舍，你好像就是不能让时间停止。
让他不会离开你。永远的陪在你身边。

看了881里的人物，想起了我爷爷临走时给我的感受。
当老天要一个人走的时候，你才会明白生命是多么的脆弱，人是多么的微不足道。

生命就是接受一个又一个你不想要的无奈和不舍。
成长就是无论生命给了你什么不快乐和痛苦，
你都给勇敢地面对它，不被它给打倒。

你永远都会活在我的心里。
我最敬爱的爷爷。
我真的好想你。

身体和财富, 都是身外物.
都是借来, 完成短促的演出.
人类是租户, 爱却是礼物.
哪怕物归原主, 爱也不会结束

Friend or Foe

2007-08-30T19:44:00.001+08:00

I absolutely hate being lied to. A colleague of mine had recently quit his job to further his studies in Malaysia. I felt glad for him as I think that it was in his best interests to get his degree when he is still young. Though I would have to take over his job (kinda messy when he left), I didn't really mind as what's important for him is to get that degree.

Met him online earlier this week after a long hiatus. Though I felt that he was trying to avoid us, I take it as that he is afraid of us bothering about his work when he is no longer obliged to do so. Heard from him that he is currently working part time in KL and waiting to enroll to full time studies in Jan next year. Felt really glad for him at that point of time till I learn the truth from another colleague of mine the next day.

He was in actual fact still in Singapore and working for an indirect competitor of us. To be honest, I was wondering why would he lied to me in the first place. It is only when I think more about it that I felt angry over the whole episode.

For he is not the first of my so called friends who had lied to me. I am quite sure he won't be the last one too. I kept thinking about it. Is it because I look gullible or had my friends taken me for granted?

That I am a Mr Nice Guy and I would forgive whatever lies that they had told me. That I would forget about everything in a huff and our relationship will be back to cordial as if nothing had happened.

I wish I could do that but no. I am not good with hiding my emotions. I do feel hurt and betrayed when people lied to me. I can't act as if nothing had happened. Like what I had said many times. Trust is hard to gain but easy to lose. So it is either that I treat you as a friend or nothing at all.

把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人

想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷

再见

2007-08-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

我怕我没有机会
跟你说一声再见
因为也许再也见不到你

宁愿我要离开
熟悉的地方的你
要分离
我眼泪就掉下去

我会牢牢记住你的脸
我会珍惜你给的思恋
这些日子在我心中永远都不会抹去

我不能答应你
我时候会再回来
不回头
不回头的走下去

Come on you Spurs!!!

2007-08-15T19:51:00.000+08:00

A familiar but lousy feeling is coming again. Being among one of the big spenders don't prove anything. No team had the given right to feel that they will win even before they take to the pitch. So what if our strike force is worth more than 60 million? With no decent midfielders to supply the chances for them, what's the hope of anyone of them actually scoring? I had also been supportive of Martin Jol but can't help but wonder if he had set his priorities right when looking for new signing.

Kenneth might be laughing when he read this but I got to agreed with him. Jenas seem like a lost fish everytime he take to the field. A player who had promised so much but just unable to deliver it week in and out. He can no longer use his age and inexperience as an excuse. He got to stand up and be counted. Make those lung breaking runs that he is noted for. Pass the ball better.

To be honest, Spurs had never really been able to cover up the loss of Micheal Carrick. Zokora came with a big reputation after a great showing at World Cup 2006. If he is still showing the same standard in his second season, maybe it is time to promote Huddlestone to the frame. He can pass better than either of those two idiots that I had mention. It is not the age that should be a deciding factor when choosing your best 11. It is the ability.

Gardner and Rocha to me is a big big joke. Can you imagine Chelsea or Man U having them as their backup centre defenders? They belong to the same "elite" group of defenders who look impressive but simply unable to defend well. Bramble and Boumsong would make a great pair with these two idiots. At least Sam Allardyce had a sane mind to get rid of Bramble.

This is also not the first time I am complaining about Salteri but he simply don't have the positional sense as a fullback. He can't attack or defend well. I would rather putting young Ifil in for him. Sell that joker away. 3 seasons and he is like getting worse by the day.

I had always thought that this would be a breakthrough season for us. Though I had always been crying out for a decent left midfielder and a world class playmaker, I still have high hopes that the current squad is good enough to push those United Nation bastards for fourth spot. If Spurs is going to continue playing at this rate, I think it would be lucky if we can hold on to 5th spot.

Newcastle is going to be good this season. They had finally gotten a manager who had proven himself in the Premier League and if backed sufficiently by the new board, would be a force to be reckon with. Blackburn had also done well and Everton is waiting in the wings. To lose to a side expected to compete with you for the coveted fourth spot is like losing 6 points.

I am depressed. Not just by the fact that my stupid cough seems like never ending. But also of the fact that my favourite team is again playing with no imagination and passion. They must realize that it is a god given privilege to be able to play soccer well and wear the famous white jersey across them. This is no ordinary work. They are living the dreams of million of Spurs fan out there. I am sure that all of them are feeling as disappointed and disgusted as I am. I still have the belief that they will do well. I had the same belief ever since 1990 when I saw Gazza and Lineker wearing the Spurs jersey. Come on you SPURS!!!!!

7 months since you are gone

2007-08-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

I had nearly forgotten that come 20th of this month, it would have been 7 months since you had left us. How's paradise? I am sure we will meet one day then. In the meantime, do look over your parents while you are there. I am sure you will do it. 加油！！！

远方有一个地方
那里种有我们的梦想
某天也许会相遇
相遇在这个好地方

不要太担心只因为我相信
终会走过这条遥远的道路

oh para paradise
是否那么重要
你是否那么地遥远

oh para paradise
是否那么重要
你是否那么地遥远

MIA

2007-08-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

Finally have the time to pen down my recent thoughts after a long hiatus. Had been writing something on and off but never complete or decent enough to be post.

Work had taken away much of my time since my last post. Illness took a distant second. Been coughing and under the effects of flu for the past 3 weeks. Worse part is that whenever I thought that I will recover, the stupid flu or cough will come back with a vengeance. Not sure if it is a lack of exercise (really don't have the time to even go jog) or that I am getting weaker as I am older. The worst part is that I am not even 30 yet. Is it that my body is giving me a signal to take it easier in life?

Recently attended the Coroner Inquiry of Rixin. For the uninitiated, he is the colleague of mine who I had grown to treat like a younger brother of mine. The day of the Inquiry was also the first time that I laid my eyes on the culprit of the accident.

I had always thought that I might not be able to control myself when I do see her. When Rixin had just passed away, my thoughts were that I will definitely take revenge for him. I will go all out to make sure that she is put behind bars. The longer the term, the better.

Maybe time had changed my view on things. Yes. She might have been at fault in the accident but does she want this tragic event to happen? I think no sane human being would want to cause hurt to another fellow human being. What's the use if she is jailed? Even if she is jailed for 10 years, the fact still remain. I had lost a good brother, my company a great employee, his parents a fantastic son and his girlfriend, a great companion who she wanted to spend her life with.

Forgiveness might be easy to say. Doing it seems a bit harder. I can't convince myself to really forgive her totally. I am sure his parents and girlfriend might never do so. But come to think of it, revenge is a vicious cycle. When will one really feel at peace in mind?

People who are still around us are the most important. I am not saying that he had lost his place of importance in my heart. But will sentencing the one who do not even want all this to happen to jail change any facts? The court had recorded an open verdict on his death. Based on the facts that were presented in court, I think there is a high percentage that she might not be charge in court. I think I will accept any form of punishment the law had for her. The sense of guilt which will be with her forever is the worst punishment God had given to her.

Nonetheless, I will still help out his parents if they decide to proceed with a civil suit. I think helping them is the only thing that I can do now. I hope that they can find peace within themselves soon. Holding on to something which is no longer around is painful. Letting it go and keeping great memories of those who had left us in our heart might be a better way to commemorate them.

God of Super Mario Brothers

2007-07-19T23:06:00.000+08:00

Family Dinner

2007-07-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

Just had dinner with my Mum, Aunt and Uncle after work today. It was a pleasant surprise after a tough work day. It had been ages since I last saw my Uncle and even longer since I had a proper meal with my family members.

Due to the nature of my family, most of my meals are with Mum and even worst, me having a meal alone at home. I had never enjoyed it but there isn't much a choice.

I would be glad if there would be more dinner like this in the future. The food is secondary. I am just glad to see all if not most of my family members sitting down together having a nice meal. To those who are begrudging on the mindless family dinner, all I can said is how I wish I could be you.

看似简单的事物，给我的感动和幸福
反而胜过任何物质或金钱所能给的。

CPF Rate

2007-07-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

Read an article in the papers today. The article was talking about the low rate our CPF Ordinary Account and Special Account is offering to Singaporeans. To the uninitiated, the rate stand at 2.5% and 4% for Ordinary and Special Account respectively. To be honest, the rate might be attractive as compared to the current pathetic rate that our banks are offering us but the catch is that we can withdraw our money in the bank anytime we want. Something that the CPF can't offer to us.

In my view, the optimum rate should be 4% and 6% minimum for the Ordinary and Special Account. I am no guru in investment but my CPFIS (buying of unit trusts through Ordinary Account) is definitely earning me more money than what it would earn if it was left to rot in the Ordinary Account. Skeptics might argue that it is because the stock market had been on a bull run since last year. Well, historical data had shown that for any investment in the stock market over a period of 25 years, the average return had been at a sterling rate of 8-12%.

Considering that our savings in our CPF will be lock in for a minimum of 25 years and more, I think the government can consider ways to make our money work harder for us.

Taking into consideration of inflation at an average of 1.5% (Should be more) per annum, our Ordinary Account ain't really beating it hands down. I think the benchmark of returns should be compared to the GIC(Government of Singapore Investment Corporation Pte Ltd) or Temasek. The combined sum of our savings in the CPF can't be much lower than these two government big wigs. The GIC had been posting an average return of 9% for the past 20 odd years. Deducting away inflation (It was set at 2.5%), the return was still an attractive 6.5%.

To help the poor break out of the poverty cycle, more help should be given to grow their savings and retirement nest. Giving them one off rebate of cash might be good for the short term but it is definitely not the long term solution that they are need. My heart goes out to those poor old folks who are either selling tissue or collecting used cans for a living. If only they had more help with their finances while they were still in their prime, would they have to slog for a living at their age?

My family was never well off since I was young(we still are). It is something that I never hide. I also know that the only way out of it is to be financially literate. Education and investing your savings are just two of the many ways to get out of it. While I applaud the efforts of the government to make education compulsory for all S'poreans, more can be done to improve our retirement nest through the increase in rate of the CPF.

Things that make you strong

2007-07-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

Was about to blog on what a rough week I had thus far. Been working till around 9 to 10 lately but I think my colleagues take the cake. They are still on site at this hour. Trust me when I said that the feeling is like shit. You are dying to go home to take a warm bath, relax to some smoothing music, have your overdue dinner and do something to relax your mind. Problem is that you can't leave till the problem is solved. People working in the construction sector can relate better to this. But I am not complaining though.

I was recently handled a project by Stanley which was previously under a colleague of mine who had since left for greener pasture. I think the move is good for him as he was stagnating in his career and maybe a new challenge might just push him to greater heights in his career. The scope of the project at first sound easy. Doing up the programming and ensuring that the project is run smoothly. Stanley will help me with the rest. Well, life ain't a bed of rose.

During the week when Stanley is out of town, I began to feel the pressure of handling this project. From being a newbie (this is my first time handling such a big project and of this nature) to someone who is an expert in this technology. This is what my Indian workers, fellow colleagues and my boss demand from me. They had assumed that I had known everything about this system and I can run it on my own. It is like taking a degree in 1 year instead of the normal 3 years. Talk about a major stress out.

I was reprimanded all round by my Indian workers who can't believe that this Chinese man know less than them, my fellow colleagues who can't believe that I don't know the basic fundamentals of electricity circuitry, my customer who know more than me (That man is simply amazing) and my boss who just want the project to be done up without any complains from the customer.

As usual, I was full of complains and angry that I was being arrowed to do this shit. But as the days went by, I found myself improving in all aspects of handling this project. I am also beginning to have the fulfillment that I had indeed learn a lot from this experience. I am confident that this experience will be useful in my career. If this can't break me, it can only make me better.

Need to thank my great Project Manager, CK, my Shen, Mr Kolo Tay and of course Stanley for all the help rendered so far. Though this project is really draining me out, I am confident that it will be a success.

Every great achievement was once considered impossible.

爱情???

2007-06-28T22:41:00.000+08:00

爱情究竟是精神鸦片
还是世纪末的无聊消遣

开始总是分分钟都妙不可言
谁都以为热情它永不会减
除了激情褪去后的那一点点倦

感情不就是你情我愿
最好爱恨扯平两不相欠
感情说穿了一人挣脱的一人去捡

Handwriting

2007-06-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

Actually the below was done quite sometime ago. Not been blogging due to work (To doubters out there, I really work hard, not slack hard) and Dota ( Just need something to destress me and not brain cells killing after all the work).

Life had been flashing past at such fast speed recently. My 27th birthday is coming soon. To think that it was just like yesterday that I had complained about it. To be honest, birthday is just a reminder of how far I still am from my dreams. Well, at least I can feel consoled that I had managed to meet some minimum benchmark thus far ba.

I had gotten my driving licence (1 try only, SUCKERS!! :P), become more knowledgeable about my work (I was just working for the sake of working back then), started on my path to becoming a graduate in Mass Communication (I will know the status of my enrollment in July. Keeping my fingers crossed here that I will get advanced standing) and hopefully, a happier Sim Seng Yong.

人活着，要得只不过是快乐和幸福吧。

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You like to be surrounded by four solid walls.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

S.H.E

2007-05-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_e8qA-JjvY

This album is nice. Been listening to it for quite a while on www.haoting.com.

Movies

2007-05-31T21:34:00.000+08:00

Happy Vesak Day!! Hope that all of you out there had been well. Been real tied down with work(when had I haven't been?) lately. Most of my free time were either spent on DOTA(Whoever want to play please let me know.), movies(been a while since I watched it regularly in theaters) and reading in the above order.

Watched Spider Man 3, Pirates of the Carribbean 3, and also Shrek 3 thus far. Shrek 3 got my pick for the best movies out of these 3 so far. It is funny and a great joy to watch. I was a tad disappointed with Pirates. Maybe the expectations were too high to begin with. It was always going to be hard to beat the 2nd series in the trilogy. Spider Man 3 was nice but compared to the previous one, the storyline was not that good.

28th June 2007. I am waiting with bated breath for that day to come. My favourite cartoon series is finally coming to the big screen. :) Autobots Rulezz!!!

Seems like more and more movies are being based on cartoon or comic characters lately. My next wish is to have a movie based on this cartoon character.

Hope that it will come true. :)

忘记悲伤

2007-05-27T16:40:00.000+08:00

我要明天你还在我身旁
我答应你会牢记这片灿烂的远方
我要明天你还在我肩上
我答应你会忘记有种感觉叫悲伤

Happy Mother Day

2007-05-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

Haven't been posting for the past few weeks. This is due to the flu that had been bugging me till now and also outings with my friends. Feeling kinda strange for me as I still prefer a book, nice music, movie or gaming at my own home. Though it don't have a great appearance, the feeling it gives me is one of familiarity and closeness. I love my friends but chilling out at home is still the best option for me most of the time.

I had been to Dempsey road (nice place for wine though the service level leave much to be desire), Wala Wala(been like years since I went there), Balaclava, Ice Cold Beer, East Coast Park for beer(can't remember the name of that restaurant but I had nice memories there) and lots more over these past few weeks.

But the best outing I had was with my mum on the first Sunday of this month. Blur old me had thought that Mother Day was then. Haha. Being a filial son like me :P, I bought her to Sake Sushi for a nice meal. It was a nice experience. My mum first experience of a proper Japanese meal and the first time I had bought her out for a proper meal ever since I joined my current company.

I realized that in my eagerness to grow in my career and spending time with my friends, I had forgotten the very thing that brought me here to this world. She is my motivation, inspiration and give me the aspiration to succeed in life. It is these small things that make her day. Spending time with her over a proper meal, bringing her out for a walk, buying her favorite DVD(though deep in my heart I dread the thought of her singing along with it :P) and simply by paying her the attention she deserve.

It is not in my blood to do this but I really love my Mum. The more mature I become, the more I realize that she had been the one who had stood by me through it all. Thought it's kinda late and you will never understand what I am writing here(My mum only know the F word which I had taught her :P), Happy Mother Day Mother. I am proud of you and I am sure one day you will be proud of me too. Love Ya!!!

And through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong

And down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call

She wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

开车

2007-04-27T15:54:00.000+08:00

上
上一次的快乐是多久了
你
你走了我的计算变差了
微笑在我脸上
又被僵住了
那是第几次又说起你了

开
一个人开车是最寂寞的
但是别
别扭开收音机来听听歌
因为有些歌曲是很伤人的
太容易就会
想起你了

如果那天病了
约会换了
我们就不遇上了
或许就能够微笑幸福靠着
比你更好的另一个

有时爱像开车危险又快乐
遇上红灯就停了
勉强是不对的我们都知道的
差别的是
谁会先下车

伤
再伤的伤口都会痊愈的
难
再难的难过也能走过的

一个人的下午
也是美好的
只是聊天的人又少了一个

A bad dream

2007-04-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting


Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone

Ba Chor Mee

2007-04-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

Collection Exercise

http://cache.libsyn.com/mb/tmbs-070412-the_collection_exercise.mp3

Ba Chor Mee.

http://media33b.libsyn.com/podcasts/fe699f0e82df1875340c269d401580c2/462b5208/mb/tmbs-070419-top_dollar.mp3

My Dream

2007-04-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

梦想还是面包？？ This had been my MSN nick for the past few weeks. Reason being was that I was caught in a dilemma. Should I go for the course which I had always been dreaming of or a course which I kinda like and I know that will guarantee me a good career in the future. Mass Communication or Economics and Finance??

Got to thank all my friends who had given me advice. Most of the advice from gals were to go for my dreams. Guys being guys, advised me to go for the dough. Like what they said. 没有面包，那来的梦想？？

I finally made my choice today. Submitted my application course for Bachelor in Mass Communication. Being an idealist like me, I don't think I can bear growing old without ever studying something that I really like. Though I doubt I will be a journalist ever, I would still like to know that I had at least given it a shot.

Keeping my fingers crossed on getting the advanced standing from RMIT though. If not, I got to study for a period of 30 months. Not to mention the tremendous amount of study loan I got to get. If that happened, I might really have to think about switching to Economics and Finance. A shorter duration of 24 months. Not to mention a much lower fee.

Thoughts

2007-04-16T01:41:00.000+08:00

Just bought this album on last Sun. Nice album. Do get it. Loved most the songs in this album.

自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

Zzzzzzz

2007-04-14T00:53:00.000+08:00

Question and Answer

2007-04-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

Questions are all over my head.

Answers are what I am seeking.

Problem is how do I get to seek them out.

Sentosa

2007-04-07T21:53:00.000+08:00

After minutes of walking and walking, finally we reached Cafe Del Mar. Only to opt to seat outside it due to the minimum spending of $100 rule.

Waited and waited before they arrive.... Late as usual. Mr Consultant

Doing a little warming up....

before being shacked out... Old liao... But at least I was better than an old lady.. She was just lying, seating and asking people to take photos of her..

She is none other than...

This "Aunty" above.. Haha. Can see Mr Consultant's disgruntled look behind?? :P

We all ended up being captivated by the beauty of this "Aunty". So we all took photos with her...

While we were being "forced" to take the pictures, one of my good friend, Hee was swimming.. And boy was he shacked out after that...

Finally, after all the "heavy"(not more than 30 minutes of swimming, playing around with our soccer ball and Frisbee) sport activities that we had done for the day, the kind old "Aunty" offered to buy us ice cream from Ben & Jerry.. Yay!! But being as kind hearted as me, of course I accompanied her..

And there they were... Enjoying the ice-cream.. Dun said that I never treated u people before hor... Haha.. ;)

Had a fun time over there. Too bad I forgot to take pictures of the great dinner we had at Tiong Bahru. The belachan was simply out of the world. Shall end this entry with a nice picture...

A "good" looking hunk and a "great" looking babe..

That's all Folks....

Hopes and Fears

2007-04-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

Here I am again. Happy Good Friday to all my Christian friends out there. I had fun at Sentosa today with Guowei, Stanley, Padi, Ah Hee and Ah Ho. Been a long time since I went there. Was planning to go Cafe Del Mar but opt for the beach in front of it in the end. This way we can still enjoy the nice music without having to spend a minimum of $100. Will post the pictures when I download them. Wow. Me taking pictures. Ha

I was involved in my 2nd funeral for the year. To be honest, I am beginning to dread it. Though I wasn't that close to my uncle, I still felt grief for him. He was looking forward to his retirement as two of his three children were already married and providing for him. Just when he was about to put his two legs up and rest on the couch, cancer struck him. Though the end was imminent, one just couldn't help if there was anything more that we could had done for him. Anyway, it's over now and like what I always said, Life goes on. This is the brutal truth of life.

I had been thinking more and more about the limited time we had on earth. Come to think of it, I had already spent a quarter of my life now. That is if I was to die at an estimated age of 70.

你现在快乐吗？ This is something that I had been asking myself. It seems that as time began to leave it traces on me, I am feeling more and more unhappy. Life seems to run in stages. When I was a child, 365 days of my year will be full of happiness. Looking forward to school, having my ice cream after school, playing with my mates etc. When I reach my teens, at least 300 days were happy still. Though I was knowing more and more about the rules of life, at least I was still having fun in school.

Adulthood seems to bring more gloom and sadness in my life. People I loved began to leave me. Like my beloved grandpa. Someone who I had spent 20 years of my life with. I began to know that time stop for no one. People will walk in and out of your life. The worst thing is that you can't choose the timing. They won't stay just because you ain't ready for their departure. I learnt to dealt with death, relationship failure, monetary problems and work related problems. Life seems to be getting darker and darker.

If I were to gauge my level of happiness now, I doubt I will pass it. Not sure if I am being too downcast now or something else. I looked back at this quarter and found out that the days I were truly happy seems to be none. I lost a friend who was like a brother to me, lost my uncle and faced some unhappy issues.

All I wanted all along was to relive my childhood dream. Having a job that I loved(not saying that I dun love my job now but my dream job had always to be a writer or journalist), have my own family(due to my unhappy childhood as a single child) and living a simple but fulfilling life. All these seems to be so far away from me now. With every hope that I have for the future, there would be a fear that I would not be able to make it. Hopes and fears. That's how I am feeling now.

Maybe something were just never meant to be.
Like the rules of life,
Two parallel lines would never be joined together

Insomnia

2007-03-22T02:01:00.000+08:00

Darn.. It had been a long while since I am insomnia. Don't know if it was the coffee in the afternoon or the weird dream that I had just now. I was asleep for a total of 15 minutes. Tried playing a game of Dota, reading and even counting sheep but here I am. Trying to blog myself to sleep.

Been busy with work lately (I know this is boring but I really am) to really write a proper post in my blog. Don't know why but lately a lot of my friends, my relatives and my mum's friends been asking me why am I still single at this age.

For my friends who are guys, the first question would always be: "Don't you have the urge to find someone". Well, guys being guys. The urge of course is sexual urge. :P Well, I am not trying to act noble here but I am looking for a companion here. Not a sex partner. If I was, I am quite sure that I will have plenty of choices in Geylang.

My relatives question would be: "Don't you find it strange at this age that you are still single?". Well, thanks for your concern but don't you even find it even stranger that I am still as broke as before and had nothing worthy to my name. I can't even sell myself to me. How do you think I can convince anyone out there that this is an investment worth investing in?

My mum's friends being those typical aunty, their first response when they hear that I am still single is: "Boy, don't worry. Aunty will sure introduce girls to you. You give me your photo and aunty will do the rest." Thanks a lot for the help but I am still not used to having people selling me in this manner.

All these had left me wondering why am I still single now. To be honest, I had never really thought about it though I had been single for close to 5 years now. Discounting those previous failed attempts and one seriously screw up attempt by me, I had mostly been happy with my current status.

Seeing my friends in relationship that is quite screw up played a huge part in this thinking of mine. Some are together because they felt that since that they had been together for so long, it will be hard for them to adjust to another person in their life (U call that a reason????). Some are together for the sake of being together due to a mistake( I would call it a child) while others are not even sure if they can be considered as having a relationship with the other party (CHAMPION!!!).

The failed marriage between my own parents make me even think harder about starting a new relationship. I find it so hard to trust someone now. New friends I can still trust but if we are to bring this to another level, a higher degree of trust is needed and sad to say, this is something that I can't give now.

I had once trusted someone a lot and all I can said is that, I felt that it had not been returned in kind. I felt like an idiot at times and though the pain is slowly going away, the scars are still there. Well, I had always tell myself this. Time is the best medication for all kind of pain. I am sure that sooner or later, I would not be needing any kind of medication. In the meantime, thanks to those who had asked me the above question. I think I am quite happy with what I had now. My mum, friends, work and hopefully, soon to be part time student life. Will update you guys more on this in another time.

Now, PLEASE LET ME SLEEP!!! TONS OF WORK ARE WAITING FOR ME TOMORROW!!!!!

I am so gonna get the sound track

2007-03-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

I love POP!!! Retro music rules.. Haha

Back into love - From Music and Lyrics

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need `em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Don't write me off - Music and Lyrics

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
and I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax

and now I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my so called former glories
but you've given me a reason
to take another chance
now I need you despite the fact
that you've killed all my plants

And now I know
I've already blown more chances
than anyone should ever get
all I'm asking you is
don't write me off just yet

don't write me off just yet

My favorite song in the whole movie. The lyrics said it all.

Random Thoughts

2007-03-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

Good time, Bad time, time still move on.

生命若不是现在，那时何时？？

U still reading this??

2007-03-13T23:32:00.000+08:00

Below are some films that I had watched recently and drama serials that I am currently watching.

The drama serial I am currently watching now. Problem is, I am currently being drown out by my work that I never really had the opportunity to lie down and watch one whole disc at one go. I think I am at episode 12 or 13 now. Quite a nice show. If only I got more time on my hands to watch it.

A perfect date movie if you have a date. Well, I didn't have one so I got 3 to watch it with me. Ha. Thanks to Guowei, Ah Ho and Ee Wei, I was able to catch this wonderfully sweet romantic comedy when we were in JB. The songs featured in the film are nice and catchy. I am planning to get my hands on their sound track. Do watch it if you have a date. I think gals will absolutely love this show.

One of the best movies on war that I had ever watched. A film that should be shown to all aspiring terrorist or war mongers out there. The director painted a stark image of the war to us through the film. No one win in a war. The Americans might have won WWII at the end of the day but did at what cost? The Japanese had been painted as evil and cold blooded but this film showed that they are humans after all. They felt despair when they knew that they will never see their family again. They died defending a cause. Problem is that is it really worth a cause to fight for? If I was God or have a wish that I can make. That will definitely to stop all fighting in this war. For no one is a winner at the end of the day. We all end up as loser.

专属天使

2007-03-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIepWY2oUJk

我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

要不是你出现
我一定还在沉睡
绝望的以为生命只有黑夜

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

Why I hate Drugs

2007-02-22T00:35:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a long post. Firstly, Happy Chinese New Year to all. I am sure all of you had fun meeting up with old friends, relatives and collecting lots of hong baos. For the first time, my Chinese New Year was spent mainly with my mum. Accompanying her to my relatives' homes and answering the usual questions. Why are you still single? Well, just put it this way. If I have an answer, I wouldn't be coming here alone. My dear aunt and uncle.

Anyway, just caught the above movie earlier in the evening. Watching it makes me ponder on a lot of issue. I am sure if you had been following my blog, you would have known that I have an uncle who is an ex drug addict. For his sake, I hope that the ex will be a permanent tag on him. For he is simply too old to be addicted to that god forsaken stuff again.

There is one scene in the movie that tugged at my heart strings. The female lead was getting high on drugs and started to fantasize that she was in a beautiful world with all those beautiful sights. Saying stupid stuff in front of others and behaving strangely. It made me think of my uncle.

I had seen him in this kind of state before. I can still recall that I was feeling afraid back then. Why would someone behaved in this kind of manner? He seemed so distant from me at that very moment. How could someone who just had lunch with me behave so differently in a matter of hours?

After spending the trip back after the movie pondering about it, I think the feeling I had now for him is sympathy. I am afraid that he might end up like the female lead at the end of the day. The thought of seeing him like that simply frightened me. I wish I could help but sad to say, I can't.

He had told my Mum to cut off all ties with him. Never call him again and just forget that we had a relative like him. Most importantly, he asked my mum to make sure that I do not follow in his footsteps. I am touched that he still care for me at this moment. Just like he had always done so when I was a kid. I think he was simply trying to make lives easier for us. Not having to visit him at Drug Rehabilitation Center and letting my mum cry over his incompetency.

One of the questions the director of this show asked us was; Which is more scary? Drugs or the feeling of emptiness? My answer to this question is the same as the director.

If only someone had stopped him at the very beginning. Things would have been so different. Sad to say, nothing can turn the clock back. I really hate to lose someone whom I was so close to when I was a kid. To me, he was like my dad that I never had back then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QItUmkv7fR4

2007-01-26T12:41:00.000+08:00

There are tons of words what I wanted to say but my mind become a blank the moment I start to think about you. God seems to like making fun of people. Taking them away just when they are about to embark on the next stage of their life. I had been trying to convince myself that God like you. He liked you so much that he deems that you deserve the right to be in heaven with him. And in him I trust that you are indeed in heaven. In the arms of God and having the companionship of angels.

Though I wished that he had not wanted you instead. Sad to say, I am simply powerless to change anything. Men aren't that great anyway. It is at times like this that I realize that how fragile and vulnerable we can be.

让软弱的我们懂得残忍
狠狠面对人生每次寒冷
依依不舍的爱过的人
往往有缘没有份

谁把谁真的当真
谁为谁心疼
谁是唯一谁的人
伤痕累累的天真的灵魂
早已不承认还有什么神

美丽的人生
善良的人
心痛心酸心事太微不足道
来来往往的你我遇到
相识不如相望淡淡一笑

忘忧草忘了就好
梦里知多少
某天涯海角
某个小岛
某年某月某日某一次拥抱
轻轻河畔草
静静等天荒地老

Farewell my Brother

2007-01-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

Close friends of mine should have known by now that I had lost someone very dear to me recently. Though I had known him for less than a year, it seems like we had been friends for a lifetime.

I might be older than you by 4 years but I had always listen to your advice. Being away from home at such a young age seems to make you more mature than what your age suggests. You are always able to look at the bigger picture of things and I do take your views and comments seriously. I would definitely be missing your sound and laughter whenever I stepped into the office.

Buying kopi o for each other in the morning, having fun in the office when we are stressed out from the endless work we need to clear, going off in my trusty van to pack lunch for the gang, going to my site together in the van singing along to my lame songs, going for pool games after work, drinking on Friday night, mahjong and the list just goes on.

You had become a major part in my life. Silently you had taken a huge place in the heart of my mother and me. She had treated you like her own and the same goes to me. I meant it whenever I pull you over to my side, shouting out "We are brothers!!". Part of me seems to have die on the same day you met with that tragic accident. I am really ruing myself of asking you to pack lunch back for me. If only you had came back straight to the office. But then, being the nice guy like you, you would have packed it for me. For you know best that I can't work without food and our favorite Kopi O.

I am really sad to see you go. To be honest, the last time I am feeling this shitty and helpless was when my Grandpa left me. Helpless that there was nothing I could have done to save you. I felt so useless. A feeling I thought I would never had.

I am trying my best not to cry. For I know you would never have wanted those you care for to be sad. The way you spoke to your fiance makes me know that you would be a great husband in the future. The way you share your dreams with me makes me know that you had everything planned out. Buying a house so that your parents can come over in the future, providing for your loved ones and being successful in doing up HDL.

The only thing I can do now for you now is to take care of your wake for you. Providing a shoulder of strength for your fiance and parents and ensuring that justice be brought to you.

单小弟，永别了！！！我会永远记得有过你这一位兄弟。永远思念你的"叔叔"。

天空海阔是无尽美梦
可惜只得一个破天空
寻求人间仅有的希望
骤觉得到了又已失去了

不懂欢笑像留下缺陷
哥哥可否知道我的心
常常埋怨彷似不长大
是您给予我留我一点真
默默悼念默默愤怒埋怨

一生充满了斗志永不倦怎可终止
他的生命是真理 oh......
他的生命没扭转

但愿在您的远方
可听得到我这歌
常欠缺了您在旁
陪伴上路多麽不安

但愿用这一阙歌
来冲洗心中我苦楚
来叫喊我对您未忘
含泪说声祝您愉快

看天空可变改

(P.S: Anyone out there who had seen or know someone who had seen the accident, kindly let me know. A guy who is about to embark on a new life with his fiance do not deserve such an ending. I am not wishing hell for the driver who had caused it. I just want to be sure that justice is delivered out to the deserving.)

Marriage

2007-01-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

Just back from Timbre with Guowei and Ee Wei. I think u guys should be quite surprised that I went out on a week day. Well, after all the work I had been doing for this month and also the news that my job scope will be changed, I think I deserved to give myself a break.

At first glance, I thought that my job will not be that taxing. Only when my boss and Stanley talk to me about it then I realize that it come with great responsibilities. I will be sorely in charge of the marketing in the company and also PA to the three main pillars of my company. That will be Stanley, my boss and Kolo who have over 20 years of working experience behind him. The idea is for me to learn from them, doing up the necessary paper work for them, marketing plans for the company and also coordinate their projects.

It might sound easy at first but it is not. Today was only the first day and boy did my boss gave me tons of ideas that he had think of. The best part is that I got to implement them before the end of next week. This is on top of my existing pile of job which I haven't clear yet despite working my ass off since the start of the year.

To me, I am treating this as a very good learning experience. My boss had much more experience than me. Maybe he was right when he said that I am much better with my paper work, ideas, system write up and coordination than my relationship building with clients.

Construction is a strange field. You don't get a job just because you are the strongest out there in the field or you had the best solution to the problem. End of the day, a lot boils down to relationship. This is a sector that I think I am weak in as I need quite sometime to build up a relationship with others. Maybe it is just my character but I find it strange to behave like you had known someone for ages when in fact, you had only met him like for only a few times. It is just not me.

I am hoping that I can meet the expectations that my boss and Stanley had set for me. Like what I had told him, I don't want to be kept on the payroll just because I am a friend of his. That to me is totally stupid. We are in the age of meritocracy. Not a dictatorship. If I am not good or doing what they expect, I expect the sack and nothing less. I will never ever want to make a living just because I know who and who. To me, that's crap.

Anyway, back to Timbre. It is a great place to chill out over beer (My fav drink. Ha) and live music. The band tonight was ok. They seem to lack a bit of coordination but nonetheless, it was great fun. At my age, fun is not getting myself wasted at the end of the night. It is how much stress I can get out of my system. And for that, I thank Ee Wei and Guowei for chilling out with me.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Ladies Are Great

2007-01-16T23:56:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a tea session with Stanley, Adlin and Guowei. Been quite sometime since we chatted on a weekday. Was real tied up with work ever since the start of the new year and am glad for this short respite from work. Well, not complaining here as being busy is a good sign. This show that you are living life to the fullest and not stopping there wondering which next step you should take.

One of the topic we chatted about was children. Boy had we grown old. I would have never imagine me chatting about this a few years back. Anyway, Stanley was sharing his experience of a being father with us and to be honest, it make me feel frightened and yet excited about it. I maybe thinking too far here as I am still very single now but I find it amazing that a life can be created by just two person. It's as if that these two persons are playing God in delivering a new life into this world. Giving it the eyes to see, the ears to hear and the mind to think.

The pessimistic will be thinking that they are bringing them out here to go through the vicious cycles of life. But I think otherwise. Life is beautiful in that you will never know what will happen next. It is the ups and downs that make life beautiful and sweet. Getting up from falls, basking in the love of your friends and loved ones, and making this world a better place. The sheer unpredictability of life make it great. Life is just like a great movie unfolding in front of your own eyes.

We also chatted about child birth and hearing the experiences his wife had gone through during child birth only increased the respect I had for his wife and all mothers out there. Most of the details are gruesome. Like being in labour for half a day, not taking the pain killing injection and relying on laughing gas instead and a lot more which is giving me the goose bumps as I think about it now. See, I am someone who have a low threshold of pain. To hear what his wife had been through really make me marvel at ladies.

To all those mothers out there, you are GREAT!!!

Lack of Blogging

2007-01-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

Wake up
Work
Lunch
Work
Tea Break
Work
Dinner??
Work
Reach Home
Read, Surf net, Sleep

Repeat the above 5.5 times for 2 weeks

Reasons why I had not been blogging. :)

To Ee Wei: If you are reading this, below is the reason why I called Maradona God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUD9yaroGqE

恶作剧之吻

2007-01-05T00:22:00.000+08:00

Finally finished watching 恶作剧之吻. Started watching this show just before the long holiday. This is quite an old drama ba. Was recommended to it by Grace. Now I finally understand why you are so crazy over the male lead and the show. It's funny and was definitely one of the most enjoyable show I had watched thus far. It might have been a bit too fairytale like but it had definitely brought out numerous smiles from me. For those who haven't seen it, go catch it. You wouldn't regret it.

Time for some new year resolution. Though I had always fall short of what I had aimed for in the past, having a resolution is better than having none.

On top of the list is to be happy. Sounds easy but happiness is something that is hard to attain. My definition of happiness does not equate to having someone by my side. It is to have known that I have live my life to the fullest. Be it in work or leisure.

Secondly is to save more money. Be it for studies, making over my home or leaving it in the bank to rot. I really want to save. 27 years old and my bank account is still a joke. Had enough of this and looking forward to seeing more zeros in it. No just one zero.

Thirdly is to be able to start my studies in July. Been quite sometime since I was that motivated towards something. I really miss studying. How ironic it was that I tend to skip school back during secondary school and poly. I missed the pleasure of learning something new and having something to challenge me mentally.

Lastly, to be more hardworking. I know myself well. If I can finish a job by using 50% of my capability, this is what I will do. Not saying that I am smart but there had been times that I had finish doing something without even really cracking my head. Be it in work or studies. Maybe that's why I am not improving at all. I had always wanted the easy way out and the thought of racking my mind just turn me off at times. I must really change this bad habit of mine. This is also part of the reason why I wanted to study. Studying actually train people up on their discipline and mind. These two are attributes that I am sorely lacking now.

Two of my favorite songs from 恶作剧之吻.

默默在你的身后守侯的我
多想看你不经意的笑容
或许我的心你不懂
我努力让你感动

在你眼中有多么笨拙的我
决不放弃追逐你的执着
只要你能再多些回应我
一个笑或点头全接受

能不能再靠近一点点
大声说出你所有感觉
别在紧紧关在只有自己的世界
温暖太阳为你迎接

能不能再靠近一点点
能不能再勇敢一点点
就算让我知道我永远只是单恋
我也会藏着感谢
笑着和你说再见

Happy New Year

2007-01-04T01:08:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year to all my friends out there. Hope that you guys had rested your mind and body well over the 4 long days of holiday. Not sure how you guys spent your New Year Eve but I spent mine with Stanley and gang. Mahjong from 4 p.m till 5 a.m in the morning. Yes. That's how boring we are. But come to think of it, quality of time is what matter most to me now. I am glad to say that I was glad to have their companionship over the long weekend.

A new year always signal a new start. How was 2006 for you? Was reading through my past posts just now. To me, 2006 was a mixed year. I changed a new job, changed my mindset about certain things in life and was also feeling down for quite a period in my life. Not all are gloom though. Getting my driving license, knowing a great bunch of friends at my new work place, being able to provide more for my mum and starting to be happy again definitely rank as some of the high points in 2006.

Harsh words might had been said, rash actions might had been done and trust might had been broken in the year which had just past. I am sorry if I was the one issuing out any of the above to you. To be honest, I was hurt too but hey, let bygones be bygones. To me, life moves on no matter how hard you tried to stop it or get back to how life was like in the past.

Trust to me is like a piece of glass. It's fragile. I can definitely forgive someone but to forget what he or she had done to me, it's hard. Trust, once broken is just like shattered glass. Yes. We can try to mend it back. Piece it together. But there's simply no replacement for the original piece of glass. Life can't be like how it was in the past. To think so is an act of foolishness.

I am no fool and I hope that my friends out there aren't fools too. Treasure the trust you had with others. Be it friends or loved ones. Trust is hard to earn but easy to break.

小时候我总会这样牵着你的手
只是盼望能够在你的身边守候
为了保护你不小心割破手指头
这个小伤却让你泪流心痛

长大后我们越来越远
分隔地球的两边
何时才能够见面
熟悉微笑的脸

回忆起我们小时候
闭上眼就能够感受
在我们心中慢慢流动的温柔
离开了我们小时候

现在你会不会想我
也许你找到一个人为你守候
我了了

回忆起我们小时后
闭上眼就能够感受
站在窗前跟你说了晚安就走

离开了我们小时候
现在的你不在想我
这个时候我了了

Merry Christmas

2006-12-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

All or nothing

2006-12-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

Was able to sleep before I discovered this song from my old chunk of MP3. Quite old school but a song which I liked when I was back in Poly. Surprise that the video is still on Youtube. Hope that you guys will like this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts1OKpFbHaQ

All Or Nothing

know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older older
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I dont care if that's not fair

Chorus:
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I dont show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it

Don't me make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time for show and tell

Chorus

Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never

The gift

2006-12-18T21:49:00.000+08:00

Wow. Been a month since I last blog. Busy busy busy. To be honest, time seems to fly past nowadays. Just a blink of the eye and Christmas will be here in 7 days time. Ho Ho Ho.

Work had been fruitful so far. Was "arrowed" to take up the project management of a small project in the CPF building recently. Though I think I kinda screwed up the whole thing, I was glad to have this learning opportunity. Being nice in my line just doesn't pay off. I tried my best to help my sub-contractors but all I got in the end was a pile of shit from them. No wonder gals prefer guys who have a streak of mean mentality in them. They are people who would never be taken advantage of in life.

Went out yesterday with Guowei and Ee Wei. Had a very nice and expensive dinner at Sushi Tei in Raffles City. The restaurant was done up nicely. Great ambiance and food. Of course, all these come at a price. $33 to be exact. But I think it was money well spent. Been a long long time since I had a good meal. Sashimi, Yukiyaki (Grilled beef) and unagi sushi. Yummy.

Went for a stroll after dinner and came upon a booth by World Vision in Marina Square. For people who is planing to club their night away this Christmas and New Year eve, do visit their website at www.worldvision.org.sg.

Why not take out a small sum out of your clubbing or Christmas present budget out for these children who want nothing more than a blanket or stationaries for the new school term. I was surprised to find out that how a small sum of $14 would be able to prevent one child in Mongolia from suffering the cold weather this Christmas. To be honest, some of my friends spend 3 times of this figure in one night of clubbing.

To be able to help others is way better than being able to just receive help from others. Christmas to me is a season for giving and sharing. Giving out love to your loved ones and friends. Sharing whatever you have with people who are less fortunate. Not trying to act as if I am a saint or something. Just hoping that friends or passerby who are reading this to visit their website and see how you can help out the less fortunate.

Dreams

2006-11-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

Well, up till now I haven’t uploaded the pictures I took in Thailand. Don’t know why but just don’t have the eagerness to upload it. I didn’t take a lot and to be honest, not a lot of nice pictures were taken. The photos are still lying inside my SD card in the camera. I should be uploading the pictures soon ba. Since I will be quite free for these coming few weeks. Most of my friends had forsaken me for Dota. Sad. I am looking forward to my pay day so that I can get a new PC. I should be signing on a 2 year plan with Starhub, even though I am not that happy with their billing services. But since I got to pay monthly for their service, might as well get something that I need since the beginning of the year. The new PC I am getting can be upgraded for free to Windows Vista in January next year so I think the deal is worth the money.

I had been doing some research recently. Seems like the best study loan deal is from May Bank. I am planning to enroll into the Mass Communication Course in SIM next year and a loan is required to fulfill it. Do let me know if you got any better deals out there. I am really enthusiastic about taking up this course.

I had always wanted to take up this course since I graduated from Secondary School. A series of poor judgment and financial difficulty make me defer from it. Seems like I had taken a huge detour up till now but I am determined to make this dream of mine come true. I had always liked writing and journalism was always the dream job for me. Standing up for people in need, writing the truth to people who might be hidden in the dark and traveling around the world is what I dream of. So far, all this had been nothing but a dream but I am really hoping to make that first step to making it become a reality. I am keeping my fingers crossed in hope of being able to save to the amount I require and also securing the loan from May Bank.

Thanks for the harsh and direct advice today. I agreed with you on my stubbornness on certain issues. I am being honest when I said that I am not doing anything stupid again to change the current state. No way will I make the same stupid mistake again. I value you as a friend and not as a tool for me to get something. Maybe in my eagerness to get something in the past, I might have unwittingly made you felt that you were being used by me. For that, I am sincerely sorry. Rest assured that things will be ok, for your advice meant a lot to me. I am just glad that I have you to put me back in place before I steer off course again. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz4e0BsUeis

Updates after a long break

2006-11-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hello guys!! It had been a long while since I updated my blog. A few hectic weeks had flown pass just like that. I am back from my Thailand trip (Will post photos once I have the time and patience), got my driving license (First Try!! WoHo!!) and clear my Ippt for the year 2007. I will post about my experience in Thailand in another post later.

To be honest, I didn’t expect that I will pass my driving test on last Monday. Even though I had practiced from Fri onwards, I still feel a tad too nervous behind the wheel. The worst part was mounting the kerb twice when I was having my trial run before the test. Talk about a morale booster before the main event. Felt so shitty that I was thinking of running away.

I was lucky that I got a good tester. I did well for the circuit (no demerit points) and the only mistake was before moving out of the circuit. I caused a bike to slow down because of me. In the end, I got 18 points (3 more and I would have failed) and boy was I in heaven then. Ha. All my hard work and most importantly, money had finally paid off big time. I think I had spent close to 1 k in total ba. Should be slightly over $900 but heck, I PASSED. That’s the most important thing.

I am still a nervy driver. Think I should improve with more experience ba. My parking is still a nightmare and don’t ever ask me to park into a parallel lot. It is simply Mission Impossible for my company van. The worst part was denting the rear of my company van the first day I took it out. Suay.

I missed out on my silver for Ippt test by a mere 9 seconds. Darn. If only I had kept my concentration and ran the distance, I would be $200 richer rather than $100. Nonetheless, I had cleared my Ippt window for 2007. I can’t say the same for Guowei. Wahaha. Finally, you got your retribution for laughing at my poor chin up through the years. Anyway, just buck up and I am sure you can hit my standard soon. :P

Read about the GST increment to 7% in the news. Give us a break. Less than a year after we voted you guys in, everything had been increasing except my pay check. The most pathetic part was the reason being given. The increase in GST is to offset for the additional cost needed for the larger social net cast for the poor families. Well, let me do some simple calculations for you guys to see.

A family currently spending $500 monthly on goods and services in S’pore (a low average) would have to pay an amount of $25 per month for GST. They would end up paying $300 per year in total. For low income families who are barely having enough to feed themselves, that’s a huge amount already. With the increase to 7%, a family would have to pay $35 per month in GST with a total of $420 in a year. That will be an increase of $120 a year.

$420 is the average monthly salary for some of the poorest worker in S’pore. To tell us that raising the GST is to cover the cost in helping them is like giving them a lifebuoy and not pulling them out of the sea. It is simply ridiculous. In less than a year, we had raised the transport fees and the GST. Are we paying more to enjoy the so called First World Government services or paying more to feed those civil servants out there? There is no point in giving the poor Workfare bonus of $800 when it is only enough to cover them for 2 years based on a spending of $500 per month. Do we really spend that little per month? Food for thought here.

I really hope that we are not moving towards a society where the strong will step over the weak so as to raise up the ladder. A society where money is the only language that we can communicate in. Love is nothing but some stupid nonsense sprout by those who can only dream of it. In short, behaving like the elite like what a young RJC gal had blog recently.

No. I have no mood to join the elite. My heart goes out to those lonely old folks, poor hungry children and the needy living out there in those 1 and 2 rooms flat. Not to those speaking in Parliament on our behalf and the so called elite. Heck, I doubt I have the brains to join their society anyway.

I just hope that our society will be smarter come the next General Election. Hope, in hours of dark is the only light that can brighten our path ahead.

Bangkok

2006-10-26T00:16:00.000+08:00

Bangkok!! Here I come!! Though I wish that I am coming with a healthy body. But for some stupid curse or something, I am down with flu. Darn. Before every trip, something stupid will happen. Previously was the coup. Now is the flu. (Rhyme right? Ha) Taken some medication and hope that it will help. Don't wanna end up there sleeping and fighting the flu bug.

Friends. Try not to call me unless necessary k? The auto roam plan I am having should be quite expensive. Me need the dough for my driving test in Nov. Anyway, I hope to have fun at this trip. The last time I went for an overseas trip was in 2004(excluding day trip to JB). That was with the SAF. So this show how pathetic I am.

Will try to post pictures when I am back. Funny thing is that the haze choose to make a disappearance the moment I am able to leave for Bangkok. Ha.